“But Mrs. Black, she was being so rude to me all class long. I couldn’t take it anymore!”
I was talking with a student who had just called a classmate a bad word during work time.
It’s a tough lesson to learn as a 6th grader, and so I launched into my tried and true explanation:
“I’m so sorry that she was being rude to you. I can deal with that separately.
“But at the end of the day, what’s going to serve you best in life is if you can understand that you always are responsible for the choices you make.
“If she had pushed you, and you fell down, you would not get any consequences for falling down because that is a natural reaction that would happen to anyone.
“If she has been rude to you all class, you can’t really control how frustrated you feel. But you could have chosen to come and talk to me, or you could have moved to a new seat, or you could have talked to her in a respectful way.
“You still made this specific decision, and so you’ll need to deal with the consequences for this choice.”
I had given this same talk to countless other middle schoolers whose first reaction to getting caught doing something was to put the blame on someone else.
It’s one of the most powerful life lessons that both Adam and Eve demonstrate beautifully for us.
Eve could have put all the blame on the serpent, and Adam could have put all the blame on Eve.
But they both, after giving explanations for their motivation, took full responsibility for their actions:
“I did eat.” – Adam, Genesis 3:12
“I did eat.” – Eve, Genesis 3:13
When I’m praying, I notice how tempting it can be to put the blame on someone else:
My kids were so crazy that they made me lose my patience and yell today!
And yet it is so much more empowering to realize that I still made the choice:
My kids had a lot of energy today. And I chose to yell when I couldn’t handle my emotions anymore. I feel badly about this, and I want to do better at dealing with all that frustration when it happens.
Personal accountability makes it so much easier to repent, to change, and to improve!
How has personal accountability been a blessing in your life?
“Spiritual maturity is understanding that we cannot blame anybody else for our actions.” – Elaine Cannon
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
