When my husband and I were dating, I had an important conversation with my mom.
She knew that Kyle and I had been talking about getting engaged, and so she wanted to give me one piece of advice before we made that decision:
“Make sure you see Kyle get super stressed or angry about something, see how he responds to that pressure, and then make sure you are okay with his response.”
It was great advice, because admittedly, we had been kind of living a fairytale dating experience.
Yeah, we had seen each other deal with the minor stresses that came from college classes or everyday work situations, but we hadn’t seen how each of us responded to really big pressures yet.
But finally, the opportunity presented itself.
(Kyle— I’m so sorry if I unknowingly wished the big trial into existence for my own selfish purposes. Haha!)
I saw how Kyle dealt with a huge, frustrating setback, one that took a hit on his ego.
And… I was totally cool with how he responded.
I saw how he worked through problems, how he handled big emotions, and how I could support him through tough times.
It was a great little confirmation that he would make a great choice for me as a spouse.
And I’m still happy with my decision all these years later, thank goodness! <3
When we read about Joseph’s reaction to seeing all of his brothers again after all these years, it can be difficult to figure out why he does what he does:
He accuses them of being spies, imprisons one brother, frames another, makes dramatic demands, and doesn’t want to give away who he truly is.
But to me, it looks like Joseph is just trying to see who his brothers really are after all these years.
Did they care at all about what they had done to Joseph? Had they repented? Did they love Benjamin? How were they treating his father?
A great way to find out who someone truly is, is to see how they respond to stress or pressure.
(For the record, I’m NOT advocating you go and create difficult times for everyone in your life in order to determine where their hearts are!)
But… isn’t that what God basically does to us?
He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains so that we can prove to Him, and to ourselves, what truly matters most to our hearts.
Who do we choose, even when times are tough?
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
3 Responses
I disagree with your statement “He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains …”
A perfect being cannot do this. Any more than he could command Adam and Eve to partake of the forbidden fruit which of course he knew was necessary for our progression.
Rather, in his wisdom he decides when to not intervene and “allows” us to have these experiences which are part of this mortal life. He does not “give” them to us.
I really feel this way also, God loves us with a perfect love and would never want to interfere but maybe try to help our minds to see the light.
Well said! <3