“Oh yeah, I don’t put up with any of his nonsense. I just call him out for it in front of everyone.”
This is the moment I learned that some of my colleagues and I had very different classroom management strategies.
There was one middle schooler in particular who was a challenge that year.
I am not kidding when I say that many of my classroom management strategies came straight from the Doctrine and Covenants, and I’m excited to continue to share those as we get to those verses!
Pulling someone aside and talking to them individually is one that has always stuck out to me.
Year after year in the classroom, I found myself being able to connect with even the most difficult kids.
(Not that everything was perfect, but I felt like there was mutual respect and a glimpse of understanding, even despite some of their continued poor choices.)
I came to learn that pulling kids aside and talking to them one-on-one was the best way to maintain that respect!
Calling kids out in front of their peers caused shame, or reinforced that they only got attention when they were exhibiting poor behavior.
I didn’t like either of those options… so I found that creating unique opportunities to talk to that child one-on-one on an even playing field gave me the best chance to actually get my point across to them.
I think about Hiram Page.
He believed that he was receiving revelation for the entire church. I don’t know how this all started, or if he knew at some point that this was not truly of God, but Joseph, as directed by the Lord, gave him the benefit of the doubt.
In D&C 28:11, the Lord directed Oliver to pull Hiram aside for an individual conversation about his behavior.
No shaming, no name-calling, and no unnecessary attention.
Just using discretion, solving the problem with respect, and lots of love.
I’ve seen the same principle carry over as I teach youth in church, and have kids of my own.
I truly believe that most people don’t want to be bad.
If we give them the benefit of the doubt, speak to them privately with an open heart and ready to hear their side of the story as well, that’s when hearts are most mended.
No ganging up, no mob mentality, no ounce of shame.
Just kind, loving, individual correction and connection.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
12 Responses
Parents or teachers should never discipline a child in front of their peers, nor brothers and sisters. Such discipline should be done privately and with a respectful voice, always aware of the effect it will have on the individual. Leave them with a desire to improve rather than feeling shamed.
Joni
That is for sure. Some of my strong memories are of times when a member of a classroom was criticized by a teacher if front of the class. It made me feel very uncomfortable. You can imagine how the other student getting criticised felt. PROBABLY THE OTHER STUDENTS FELT UNCOMFORTABLE TOO.
Yes, it’s hard to strike that balance, but I really tried to work things out with my students one on one and found more success that way.
It’s great advice for us all to remember, not always easy to do, but we can all keep trying! It’s a much more Christlike way to discipline.
I love your little Snippets – I have several notebooks that I write down little thoughts to share in my daily letter. And I often find one in your podcast. Thank you
Awwwww, so glad to hear that. And I love that you have notebooks to write thoughts down in. That’s such a great way to remember all your spiritual promptings.
This applies even within a family.
So true! It can be applied in so many situations.
I love your insights. Thank you so much for sharing. These are short, sweet, to the point, but oh so poignant, timely and important!
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy them, and I appreciate the kind words.
I had a philosophy for my kids as they grew up: “Praise in public; discipline in private.” That way, they found out that they get attention for doing good, and many negative behaviors were corrected with that loving one-on-one connection.
Love that philosophy! I will certainly remember that. Thanks!