It’s common to hear: “Don’t judge others”.

And I agree with that 100%.

We have absolutely no business judging others.

But we still need to judge.

I can see someone making a choice with what they are doing on the Sabbath day.

And I can think, “Hmmmm. I don’t think that represents the sign that I want to give to my Heavenly Father on the Sabbath.

“That’s not something I will choose to do on Sundays.”

And it has nothing to do with my feelings about that other person.

I may not know the whole story of why they made that choice; that choice may have actually been right for them in their circumstance; they might be struggling with their testimony… It’s not my business to know it all.

I can still feel so much love for them.

And make the judgement call about MY behavior.

I can repeat this over and over with different examples, like choosing when to wear garments, choosing different political candidates, choosing how to fulfill callings, etc.

It’s so easy to go too far in the wrong direction.

To see someone making a choice and then judging them, harboring bad feelings, and thinking that we know better.

Alma counseled his son to “judge righteously”. (Alma 41:14)

And modern leaders have echoed with similar messages:

“We are to judge righteously, never self-righteously, never unrighteously.” – Jeffrey R. Holland

Judging righteously is focused completely on ourselves and our own relationship with God.

It’s taking in information from the examples around us, observing the fruits of others’ labors, dealing with the results of other people’s choices.

And then using that information to refine our own actions, desires, and motivations.

We have to judge.

But we do not judge others.

We just get to love.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  I judge first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I was speaking with a friend…

And the conversation got a little heated. ⁣

I thought that I was saying the right things in the moment.

But it threw a huge wedge between us. ⁣

Over the next couple of years, I matured a lot.

I discovered why the way I had reacted was completely inappropriate and actually not Christlike.

I vowed to improve my communication skills. ⁣

And I did!

It took a lot of work and effort.

But I totally changed and became so much better at kind and honest conversations, even when discussing difficult topics.

A few years later, I was speaking to that same friend. ⁣

The same topic came up that we had previously argued about.

But this time I handled it with maturity and finesse. ⁣

And then I mentioned:

“I’m so glad we can talk about this now, because I was so immature with how I responded the last time we had this conversation!”⁣

My friend’s response gutted me.

“Really? I didn’t know that you regretted how you talked to me last time. It hurt me, and I thought you still felt the same.”

I was so embarrassed.

My friend had no idea that I was thoroughly mortified for how I had acted before.

My friend had no idea that it had spurred literal years of self-development and sincere prayers.

Part of repentance means communicating with the people you have wronged. ⁣

Alma implored Corianton to, “. . . return unto them, and acknowledge your faults and that wrong which ye have done.” (Alma 39:13)

I let my friend hurt for much too long because they didn’t know I was trying to repent.

I could have saved them from some degree of suffering.

Of course, only the Savior can take away the true sting of sin.

But we need to do our part to ease the burden.

Return. Apologize. Acknowledge the fault.

And then improve.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  I made the mistake first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“If you were accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?”

I had been thinking about how Alma counseled that in the next life, everyone will “partake of the fruits of their labors or their works”. (Alma 40:26)

And it made me think:⁣

What am I laboring in right now?⁣

Would I be able to be clearly labeled as a Christian if someone was scrutinizing my life?⁣

I mean, yeah, I’ve got pictures of Jesus Christ in my home and I attend church each Sunday…

But I think the real conviction comes from how I conduct myself and interact with others. ⁣

Do I reflect Christ in my day-to-day living?⁣

When the restaurant forgets my order and it takes another 30 minutes? ⁣

When my toddler has a meltdown because she didn’t get to eat the crouton she wanted? ⁣

When I’m feeling left out from activities with friends?⁣

Do I still behave as a Christian would?⁣

Not that we know the clear, exact way Christ would handle any of those situations.

… But there are clear ways in which I deviate from the examples He showed. ⁣

And then, other times, I feel my entire will being melded with His. ⁣

When a gossipy conversation arrives, and I quietly excuse myself. ⁣

When I react to a tough situation with love and grace, instead of impatience and anger. ⁣

When I teach my kids about Jesus.

My labors are good. ⁣

Which means my fruit will be good. ⁣

But I know I can work on making my labors even better. ⁣

So everyone I interact with will know that I have a special relationship with my Savior.

Even if we never talk religion. ⁣

I hope that I can be the most obvious Christian.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post If I were accused… first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Alma knows all about repentance.

He’s an expert.

He also knows that his son has taken a detour from the iron rod.

And he wants to encourage Corianton to make it back and partake of God’s love. ⁣

”Now my son, I would that ye should repent and forsake your sins.” (Alma 39:9)

And Alma knows Corianton can do this.

Why?

Because Alma himself made that same difficult journey of repentance years ago.

But one thing Alma didn’t know?

He didn’t know that this conversation would be a positive turning point in Corianton’s life.

He didn’t know that Corianton would eventually travel the land with his brothers for many years preaching the gospel and baptizing many.

⁣Alma was the perfect father for Corianton.

⁣Two strong men who showed examples of not letting the lowest points in their lives define them.

“None of us should be defined only by the worst thing we have ever done.” -Kevin R. Duncan

They both used that Godly guilt and pain to push themselves into repentance and rededication. ⁣

Like father, like son. ⁣

And boy, am I grateful I don’t have to be defined by my worst decisions either.

My past does not need to be my label, my definition, or my eternal judgment sentence.

All thanks to Jesus Christ.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The perfect father first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.