I don’t think anyone has ever explicitly said that it is, but over the past 15 years as most of my friends have gotten married, I’ve noticed this attitude of wanting to make it to a temple marriage, and then life will be good from there. ⁣

Like I said, marriage is fantastic. ⁣

But anyone who’s married knows it’s most certainly not the finish line for life. ⁣

I think we sometimes fall into setting a standard for when we’ve “made it” – ⁣

Whether it’s getting married, finally remembering to read your scriptures every day, once all your kids serve missions, once you have a certain calling…⁣

We can read the words “endure to the end” and think of getting “good enough” and then just coasting. ⁣

But Rebecca M. Craven taught us that “enduring to the ends means CHANGING until the end”.⁣

Marriage is a fantastic goal to have and a fun milestone to meet, but LUCKILY my husband and I have changed a lot throughout our years together.

And we are excited to change even more. ⁣

We endure together by changing together, improving, maturing, and loving better. ⁣

In marriage, in any role that we hold, and as an individual, we not only CAN always improve, but we SHOULD always improve. ⁣

Our humble general authorities are beautiful examples of this, sharing their journeys of faith, their new discoveries, their changes…⁣

We never get to just cruise in autopilot. ⁣

Maybe that’s an intimidating thought. ⁣

But I like it. ⁣

I’m never gonna earn it and then just endure. I’ll always have something to work on. ⁣

Fun, huh?! ⁣

That’s how we will stand guiltless before God on judgment day:⁣

Not because we are perfect and actually blameless. ⁣

But because we changed every day all the way to the end.

“If he endureth to the end, behold, him will I hold guiltless before my Father at that day when I shall stand to judge the world.” (3 Nephi 27:16)

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post How to be guiltless first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

My son yelled that at me last week as he jumped off a giant beanbag. ⁣

I was working on my computer but turned my head to watch the jump. ⁣

“Great job!” I said.

And then I turned back to my computer. ⁣

This happened about ten more times.

And then one time when he finished his jump, he said:

“Mommy, wait! Don’t look at your computer! Watch me the whole time!”⁣

And I felt a little sting. ⁣

He didn’t really care about my praise for his jump—

He just wanted my attention.

Which way do we face?

Where are we giving our best attention?

Jesus commands us to:

“Turn, all ye Gentiles, from your wicked ways.” (3 Nephi 30:2) 

He doesn’t want our entire bodies and souls facing toward someone or something else.

He doesn’t want us only turning our hearts to Him when it’s time for church, a prayer, or a lesson.

And then turning our head back to whatever we were doing before the “church stuff” interrupted.

Jesus wants us to fully turn away from the lesser things of the world and give Him our full attention.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post “Hey mom, watch this!” first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

It had “LDS” in the name. ⁣

President Nelson had already made statements about the full name of the Church, but in my mind, “LDS” wasn’t really a harmful acronym. ⁣

But in March of 2019, the Church announced that they were changing lds.org to churchofJesusChrist.org. ⁣

And that’s when I had the strong impression that I needed to change the name of my Instagram account to remove the “LDS” acronym. ⁣

I, personally, didn’t feel that putting the name of our Savior into my name was the right thing to do; but I knew that I didn’t want to perpetuate any names for our Church that removed our Savior. ⁣

It seems kind of small looking back on it, but it was an important and powerful, tangible change for me at the time. ⁣

I already had a few thousand followers on my account at that point, and I was growing exponentially every day. ⁣

And yet, I knew I needed to change it. Thus, “Come Follow Me Study” was born!⁣

The Savior taught his disciples in 3 Nephi 27:5 that the church needs to be called in His name. ⁣

“Have they not read the scriptures, which say ye must take upon you the name of Christ, which is my name? For by this name shall ye be called at the last day”.

It is His church. We worship Him. And others need to know. ⁣

Elder Neil L. Andersen taught us recently that, “As the world speaks less of Jesus Christ, let us speak more of Him.”⁣

We can do our part to remove harmful or dismissive abbreviations or nicknames for our Church. ⁣⁣

But then we have to fill their places with more talk of Christ! ⁣

In virtually every post that I make on this account, I try to make the connection between the principle I’m sharing thoughts about, and my Savior. ⁣

I would hope that anyone scrolling through my feed would know that I am not afraid to preach of my Savior. ⁣

And I’m working more on making sure my family and friends get that same dose of “Jesus” from me, too!⁣

This is Jesus Christ’s church. Any little adjustment we can make to rid ourselves of harmful phrases and add statements about our Savior will yield blessings! ⁣

As Christ himself teaches, “whoso taketh upon him my name, and endureth to the end, the same shall be saved at the last day.” 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post LDS no more first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Here’s the thing:

Asking “What would Jesus do?” is a GREAT question to guide our lives as Christians.

Jesus even taught:

“Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am.” (3 Nephi 27:27)

But… what do you do when you don’t know what Jesus would do in your exact situation?

The other day, my daughter did something that could potentially be dangerous.

I got on her level, calmly asked her to stop, and explained why she shouldn’t do that.

And then a minute later, she tried it again. ⁣

I told her to stop and she said, “No!”⁣

I picked her up and removed her from the dangerous situation.

When I placed her down, I said a little prayer in my heart, “What would Jesus do or say in this situation?”

Like, how exactly would Jesus react to a child who kept making a poor choice even if it looked fun to them? How would He react in the moment? How would He teach?

The quick answer that came to my mind wasn’t as clear as I wanted, but it still answered my question:

“You’ll learn. Just try your best right now.”

Life doesn’t always present scenarios where we choose to be either mean or nice.

Most of the time, there are shades of niceness and meanness and every other intent in between.

So how do we do what the Savior would do?

I think the key is to have the Spirit with us.

And then we just try to move forward the best we can with the information we have.

The Spirit can’t always tell us the exact answer in the moment.

(In fact, that would make things a bit too easy!)

But He can give us the next step to help us learn how to actually become more Christlike.

And what my daughter needs as a Christlike reaction might be very different than what another child needs.

I love that the Spirit is here to help us in the nitty gritty as we work through trial and error to figure out what Jesus would really do.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post What WOULD Jesus do?!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I love it because I can stay in touch with family and friends who aren’t with me. ⁣

I show them funny things that my kids do, brag about accomplishments, ask for advice, vent, ramble…⁣

Most of the time, no one is watching live as I send my video. ⁣

They’ll watch it whenever they can, and respond when they can. ⁣

It’s fun to not have to worry about whether or not they are available to chat – I just send it when it’s convenient to me!⁣

(And no, this post isn’t sponsored by the Marco Polo app, I promise there’s a spiritual lesson here )

But this is how I imagine my constant prayers in my heart to my Heavenly Father, too. ⁣

Whenever I’m in a moment of gratitude, pride for my kids, laughter, frustration, confusion, or even boredom…⁣

He is there and waiting for me to share the little snippet of my life with Him. ⁣

It’s casual and real.

(Except, He’s always available and always watching me on “live” .)⁣

However, there are other times where I actually meet up with my friends, FaceTime with my family, or speak face to face with my husband. ⁣

Those are important conversations because that’s where the real communication happens, where real bonds are formed, where my relationships become authentic and important. ⁣

Our relationship with our Heavenly Father needs BOTH the formal morning/evening prayers AND the constant, more casual check-ins. ⁣

“And it came to pass that he commanded the multitude that they should cease to pray, and also his disciples. And he commanded them that they should not cease to pray in their hearts.” (3 Nephi 20:1)

Sometimes, I rock at my formal prayers. ⁣

But other times, I find myself only “sending Marco Polos” by reaching out during the day in casual moments when my emotions are particularly strong. ⁣

I think a good, strong relationship needs both. ⁣

Real, deep, communing conversations with our Heavenly Father are essential in order to get to know Him and His will.

And little, constant check-ins on our part keep our hearts always turned to Him. ⁣

Both are important to build and maintain a healthy and relevant relationship the Mighty God of Heaven, our loving Heavenly Father.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Marco Polos first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I KNOW a lot of religious things.

In fact, I could give a great lesson about how life is meant to be challenging.

I could teach about how prayers won’t always be answered right away.

And I could speak about how relying on our faith is essential.

But then in my real life…

When my prayers aren’t answered immediately, or when a big trial comes…

I feel like everything has gone wrong!

That “knowledge” doesn’t always translate perfectly.

That’s why I find beautiful comfort in this sweet statement that Mormon made:

“Behold, I was about to write them, all which were engraven upon the plates of Nephi, but the Lord forbade it, saying: I will try the faith of my people.” (3 Nephi 26:11)

The Lord wants to try our faith.

Intellectually, it makes sense that Jesus wants to try the faith of His people.

But when I allow that message to really sink into my heart, it is so peaceful to remember that absolutely nothing has “gone wrong” in my life.

When I let that knowledge transform into belief, my entire perspective shifts.

The good will always outweigh the bad.

Love will conquer.

And joy is available to anyone who has faith in Jesus Christ!

“Yes, God can provide miracles instantaneously, but sooner or later we can learn that the times and seasons of our mortal journey are His and His alone to direct.” – President Jeffrey R. Holland

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Knowledge vs. belief  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I need mercy A LOT.

I know when I’m tired and overwhelmed and just need a break from normal responsibilities. ⁣

I know when I should have done more, but I just couldn’t.

I know I need mercy.

But extending mercy to others in my life has not always been natural. ⁣

⁣From my outside perspective, it’s hard to see the extenuating circumstances that other people deal with.

Despite this, I’ve really tried to be intentional about extending mercy towards the people I interact with recently.

And guess what I learned?⁣!

Showing mercy and extreme kindness to other people hasn’t changed their actions at all. ⁣

But it has completely changed my heart. ⁣

Our loving God knows exactly how to extend both justice and mercy in exactly the ways we need.

And we mortals have to try and do our best as we interact with others.

When I’m parenting, I’ve found this balance of justice and mercy can be tricky to find.

When do my kids need me to stop the fun and enforce bedtime?

And when do they need me to throw the rules aside and laugh with them a little more? ⁣

But in general, I’ve never regretted extending mercy.

When I’ve dealt with difficult interactions in my calling, disappointing results, or awkward encounters, extending mercy has always been better in the long run.

And our Heavenly Father delights in sharing both His justice and His perfect mercy with us.

Which means, in order to become like Him, we need to delight in indulging others with our mercy. ⁣

“Loving mercy means that we do not just love the mercy God extends to us; we delight that God extends the same mercy to others.” – Dale G. Renlund ⁣

A tough thing to do in a world as tough as ours. ⁣

But a necessary step in order to soften our hearts and respond in kindness and mercy.

“For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee.” (3 Nephi 22:7)

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Delighting in mercy first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

What did Nephi feel when Jesus Christ looked directly at him and asked why Nephi hadn’t written about the fulfillment of a certain prophecy in his records?

My first thought is that Nephi would feel so guilty for this error!

The perfect Savior of the world pointing out something that you specifically did incorrectly?!

Yikes.

We don’t know why Nephi didn’t include the record.

Maybe he had purposely chosen to write about different prophecies instead.

Maybe he had meant to write that in later.

Maybe it honestly had slipped his mind as he recorded their history. ⁣

But… maybe I’ve got it wrong.

Maybe Nephi wasn’t mortified.

Because I have a feeling that looking directly into the Savior’s eyes as He corrects you and invites you to change would actually be a really loving experience.

Because Jesus wasn’t trying to guilt trip Nephi.

Jesus wasn’t trying to hurt Nephi’s feelings.

Jesus wasn’t trying to show that He was better than Nephi.

All Jesus wanted was for this missing prophecy to be recorded!

“And it came to pass that Jesus commanded that it should be written; therefore it was written according as he commanded.” (3 Nephi 23:13)

That’s it.

Nephi fixed the record.

Problem solved.

When I make a mistake or sin, it can be tempting to wallow in self-pity and feel embarrassed, rehashing the situation in my mind over and over.

But I don’t think Jesus wants that for us.

He just wants us to fix the mistake and move forward.

That’s it!

I love you, just make this change in your life so you can become even more spiritually mature.

And then we feel the love, feel the remorse, make the change, and move forward, a little better than we were before.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Nephi messed up  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

No one likes feeling like a project. ⁣

We all want to matter to other people in real ways.

Which makes fake friendships or very obviously being a “project” especially harmful. ⁣

Maybe your mind is starting to feel frustration or resentment for moments when you’ve lacked authentic connection and friendship.

But let’s look forward with a “Lord, is it I?” mindset.

Do we sometimes treat others just like an assignment? ⁣

Do we forget that each person we interact with is an extremely valuable Child of God that He loves more than we can comprehend?

Do we avoid the vulnerability of “real” for the comfort of “safe”?⁣

Jesus Christ, of course, taught the perfect example of this. ⁣

First, he instructed the Nephites that if someone isn’t worthy, they should not be partaking of the sacrament anymore. ⁣

(A command that always seemed harsh to me until I realized that “being damned” is less about a curse from an ruthless God and instead a natural consequence of stopping our own progression.)⁣

But then, Jesus tells His disciples to never cast out those who have become unworthy. ⁣

Instead?⁣

“Ye shall minister unto him and shall pray for him”. (3 Nephi 18:30)⁣

We always minister and pray and love.

So how do we accomplish this without making someone feel like a project?⁣

This is something I’ve been working on for a while – developing and showing true, authentic love. ⁣

And something that I’ve only been able to do by seeing beautiful examples from other women that I look up to.

What have they taught me? ⁣

Listen much more than we talk. ⁣

Most people just want someone to connect with.

And connection comes through conversation and shared experiences. ⁣

And when I listen to a sister who has lived a very different path than I have, and I listen and pray and listen some more…⁣

I am filled with the true love of God towards them. ⁣

Some people aren’t ready to open up and talk yet, which means finding small ways to show them I care and remember them. ⁣

But at the end of the day, we all crave true connection. ⁣

So I challenge you to reflect today:

How can I become more authentic in my relationships with others?⁣

How can I show love, no matter what others choose to do?

How I continue to minister and pray in precisely the way my Savior would to each of His children?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post No one likes a project  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But He said to NOT travel to find Him?

You had to stay at home.

How would you prepare mentally and spiritually?

When I know something spiritual is about to happen, my preparation makes a huge impact on my experience.

I’ve had stake conferences where I’ve embraced preparatory challenges or talks to study from my stake leaders.

I’ve also had stake conferences where I completely ignore them because I’m too busy.

And guess which stake conferences have been more meaningful to me?

The ones where I put in the hard work and sacrificed my personal time to prepare!

When Christ told the Nephites that He would be returning the next day, they all spread the word and went to work.

“An exceedingly great number, did labor exceedingly all that night, that they might be on the morrow in the place where Jesus should show himself unto the multitude.” (3 Nephi 19:3)

Preparation can be hard work.

It can be a sacrifice.

But putting in the effort to prepare for experiences with Jesus will always be worth it!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Preparing for Jesus first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.