At dinner time, the boys with the longer reach were able to grab the most food.

But the family realized that this was bringing a lot of contention.

Greed from the older boys, and resentment from the older boys.

And so they counseled together and came up with a solution:

Each boy had to keep at least one foot on the floor when they reached for more food.

This led to a fun way to eliminate contention.

President Nelson (who shared a version of the above story) counseled:

“My concern is that contention is becoming accepted as a way of life. From what we see and hear in the media, the classroom, and the workplace, all are now infected to some degree with contention.”

He said that in 1989.

I think it’s powerful to notice two things:

First, contention is literally from the devil.

He will try anything to get us to avoid the first two great commandments – to love God, and to love others.

But the second lesson is much more hopeful:

Rooting out contention starts at home.

The parents of the boys at the table didn’t let the contention stay. They didn’t throw up their hands and say, “Boys will be boys!”

They modeled and encouraged their sons to find a way to solve the problem in unity, while getting rid of contention.

Kyle and I know as our kids grow that this will be one of our biggest responsibilities – to show them that differences can be solved by working together.

We can show them to avoid contention.

But in order to show, we have to know how to do that.

I believe fully and completely that we can stand up for the things we believe in, point out injustice, discuss various opinions, and be powerful forces for good, without needing any contention.

And how did our Savior teach the people to turn away from this evil attitude?

Of course, the answer is to turn to Jesus Christ.

He is the one who shows us the true worth of others, who wants us to feel nothing but love for the people we interact with every day.

But we have to try – we have to want it. We have to ask our Savior to remove all contention from our hearts. And then we can receive.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Literally of the devil first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

They have different jobs and roles to fulfill, but they are united in Their purpose. 

And that’s what makes this whole eternal salvation thing possible. 

We have One who is the loving Father of our spirits, we have One who atoned for our sins and showed the example, and we have One who carries messages to our heart and mind. 

Same purpose. Different jobs.

What a beautiful pattern for us to follow here on earth!

In our ward families, in our jobs, in many organizations, this is a great pattern – to focus on the unity of purpose while fulfilling different jobs.

But my favorite example of this is in marriage. 

It’s super easy to build up resentment in marriage. 

Resentment because it’s pretty impossible for two people to do exactly the same things all of the time and have a functioning household or life. 

Things are unfair all the time. 

I remember right after we got married, Kyle and I were both coming home from long days at work/school, and he asked me, “What do you have planned for dinner tonight?” My response was, “What do YOU have planned for dinner tonight?”

We hadn’t communicated yet about who would be in charge of dinners, and I certainly wasn’t going to bring on the resentment of trying to do a task I secretly despise. 

But then we talked about it. We figured it out. And it’s changed over the years as our lives have changed.

(For what it’s worth, he 100% plans all of our dinners right now and just tells me where to find the recipe. He’s the best. It’s also his birthday today, so wish him a Happy Birthday below!)

But that’s the beauty about unity. We can be united in our purpose and find different ways to get the messy jobs of life done. 

It’s not “fair”. It will never be “fair” if we are keeping score. 

“Different” doesn’t have to come with rankings. And “different” can change all of the time. Different is okay, and in fact, necessary. 

But with communication, love, and respect, we can find peace in the different job titles that we currently wear.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Fighting resentment in marriage first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Can you picture the hen?

The hen who has carried, borne, labored, and delivered her little chicks. 

The hen who has nourished her little chicks time and time again, and gathered them every time they scattered. 

There is such love because there was such sacrifice. 

Selfless service and total sacrifice produce the purest love that is possible. 

This is why our Savior loves us with such tender devotion. Because he sacrificed everything for us.

For me. 

His body was broken for me, and his mental capacity was overwhelmed with the weight of my sins. And because he did that, he loves me fully and completely, in a special bond that can’t quite compare.

Except to a mother. 

Elder Holland gave his iconic, “Behold Thy Mother” talk in 2015, a few years before I became a mother. I remember thinking, “Wow. I can’t even imagine that kind of love.”

I’m now a mom to two. 

There is a lot of sacrifice in order to be a mother. My body has been broken, and healed, and broken, and healed. My mental capacities have been stretched to the limits. 

And because of the sacrifice, there is great love. There is a special bond that comes from that ultimate service. 

There is such great love that Christ can only compare his total love to that of a mother.

I think about the Motherly figures that he learned from, both in heaven and on earth. 

It makes his comparison all the more powerful. 

And so, when Christ calls to us, when he wants to gather us under his wings and give us nourishment, it isn’t out of duty or pity.

It’s out of the pure love and devotion that can only come from a moment of total sacrifice.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Godly, motherly love first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

What does it mean to search the scriptures?

We’ve been commanded to search the scriptures diligently, and yet I know that I am guilty of ignoring that main verb.

But some of my most powerful spiritual experiences have been when I’ve opened my scriptures with a sincere question in mind.

When I’ve looked up topics and followed footnotes and jumped from page to page.

Because I was searching.

Searching for answers, searching for love, searching for God.

But let’s be real, this is sometimes a tricky commandment to fulfill when we are stuck in “checklist” mode, or “reading schedule” mode, or “a chapter a day” mode.

(These modes are not bad in and of themselves at all, and can still lead to beautiful personal revelation.)

But the freedom and excitement of opening the scriptures with a question in mind, and then SEARCHING for an answer that you know will come, is powerful.

I love how we focus on approaching General Conference with a specific question in mind.

And we have full trust that we will receive at least part of the answer to that question throughout the sessions.

And I think we can use that same strategy with our scripture study.

No matter the book, section, or chapter, we can have full trust that we will receive an answer.

I’m always shocked at the specific direction that I find in the pages of the scriptures.

So what’s your question you are wondering right now? Big or small.

Follow Mormon’s counsel in 3 Nephi 10, and go search for it!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post What does it mean to SEARCH? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Have you ever felt that discomfort before? I have. 

That feeling where you know you are doing something you shouldn’t be, and yet you haven’t mustered enough courage or strength or whatever to actually change yet. 

It feels icky. 

And Christ doesn’t want us to stay in that position. 

He doesn’t want our mind at war with our body. He wants our desires and our actions to align as much as possible. 

He wants to give us peace. 

But this is where many of the Nephites were caught when the signs of Christ’s death came. 

Although the exact time of Christ’s death was not certain, they knew exactly what was coming.

Prophets had prophesied of the death and destruction that was sure to come. They had commanded all to repent and come unto Christ. They had warned that this would be their fate.

And yet they hadn’t made that change yet. 

And that change?

Is called repentance. 

Christ wants us to repent. He pleads for us to change. He asks us to get out of that spiritual discord where our knowledge and actions are at odds with each other. 

He’s even okay if we make the same mistake again – AS LONG AS we desire to try and change again. 

In other words, as long as we repent again. 

Repentance is constant because change is constant. 

And when Christ’s voice invited all within the sound of his voice to turn to him repent, it was the most loving message he could have sent. 

So how can we change a little more for the better today? What’s something that we’ve felt uncomfortable with recently? 

How can we repent?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post O that we had repented! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.