You probably see that come through in the posts I write here.

I like to search the scriptures, find the lessons, and then apply them to my life.

It’s like the ultimate, creative math problem – finding new variables and new information that lead me to different results every day.

And I think that’s why I’m obsessed with this scripture that Christ speaks in 3 Nephi 14.

Because it just makes logical sense.

Truly good people live good lives and produce good results.

People with ulterior motives may speak eloquently, but by definition, they cannot produce goodness.

To be clear, the “results” are not equated with “success” in worldly terms – evil people become rich and famous, and good people have serious trials.

But good people emanate love.

We will listen to leaders speak at General Conference next week, and we will hear great words being spoken.

But we can also see evidence that these amazing men and women back up what they say with the good things that they do.

This is one of the ways that I KNOW this gospel is true.

Because following the teachings that I have learned has given me a taste of God’s love and allowed me to feel greater love for people around me.

It just makes sense!

But the trickiest part is sometimes showing that love.

Because others are looking at me and judging me by my fruits, too.

Am I putting good results out into the world? Am I sharing and spreading love? Do I live with integrity for the things I believe?

Will someone look at me and want to know more about what I believe in based off of my attitudes, love, and good deeds?

Or will I fade into the great and spacious crowd by slipping into the latest trends and digging into negative emotions?

Christ’s advice about judging by fruits is what has saved my testimony time and time again – and it’s what keeps me constantly analyzing if I’m letting my testimony shine through in the way I live.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post By their fruits first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Or at least, no one over two-years-old sees.

And often, I don’t feel like I’m being rewarded for all of my hard work and small efforts.

I mean, I’m pretty mature. I’m intrinsically motivated to do pretty much all of my spiritual and physical tasks.

But still.

I often forget that there IS someone who does see every little thing that I do.

He sees when I’m about to go to sleep and remember I’ve forgotten to read my scriptures, and so I roll over and read a couple verses before dozing off.

He sees when I feel frustration boiling up inside, but I stay calm and kind, defusing the situation while also getting in a better mind space.

He sees when I get a prompting to text a friend, and follow through on it.

But the part I forget most of all?

He rewards me for every little good effort that I make.

Elder Uchtdorf said, “In reality, Heavenly Father is constantly raining blessings upon us.

“It is our fear, doubt, and sin that, like an umbrella, block these blessings from reaching us.”

He is rewarding me all of the time for my good deeds and desires.

But sometimes, I cling onto my umbrella of self-criticism, “busy-ness”, and slothfulness.

I’m not allowing the blessings to flow into my life. Or, at least, I’m not allowing myself to see them.

My favorite, easy remedy?

President Eyring said it best when he shared how he prayed and meditated each evening to see the hand of God in his life that day:

“I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.”

We just have to try to see the blessings!

We have to give the Spirit a chance to show us.

Only then can we feel recognized, appreciated, loved, and blessed by our dear Father in Heaven.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Raining down blessings first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

No way. Of the devil. Not allowed.

There were some church leaders who gave this advice to avoid R-rated movies, and it kind of grew into a cultural fact.

But within the past decade or so, Church leaders have really moved away from calling out specific movie ratings.

The “For the Strength of the Youth” pamphlet currently says: “Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way.”

Not a single sentence about the rating of a movie.

In fact, the church as a whole has started moving away from strict structure.

Eliminating an hour of church, getting rid of Personal Progress, eliminating home and visiting teaching…

Less rules and checkboxes from the church.

This is what my mind was immediately drawn to when Christ appeared to the Nephites.

He is telling the Nephites that the strict, prescriptive Law of Moses is gone.

But here’s the important shift –

In place of these lower, specific commands and counsel, we are instead given a higher law to self-administer.

Instead of not killing, we shouldn’t even be angry.

Instead of not commuting adultry, we shouldn’t even lust in our minds.

Instead of loving your neighbor, love your enemy too.

And that’s what we’ve seen as a religious people in recent years.

Instead of sitting and passively listening to a lesson for an hour, make your own plan and teach your family.

Instead of visiting your assigned sister every month, figure out what she actually needs and do it.

Instead of just avoiding R-rated movies, figure out how to avoid the evil influences of Satan in any way possible.

Restrictions being taken away isn’t a free pass – it’s a call to a higher way to live.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post A higher and holier way first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

My friend and I were having a discussion years ago about sharing the gospel, visiting teaching, and feeling uplifted, all by being social.

And her very introverted husband interrupted us and asked this question.

It kind of stopped me in my tracks, because I had just been talking about how connecting and talking with as many people as possible was how I felt the love of God working in my life.

I don’t think I had a great answer for him then, and he didn’t really share his thoughts at the moment, but I’ve never forgotten his question.

Because we’ve been asked to let our light shine.

And since I’m pretty extroverted, it’s not natural for me to understand others’ desires to NOT be social and interact with people.

But I feel that as I’ve matured and grown, I’ve learned that absolutely 100% without a doubt that introverted people can still let their lights shine and be perfect examples of gospel living.

Why?

Because we ALL have the light of Christ within us.

Sharing our “light” doesn’t mean getting up on stage and belting out a solo. It doesn’t mean baking treats and carrying out lengthy conversations with everyone in the ward. It doesn’t mean putting your testimony on social media every single day.

It CAN mean those things, but it certainly doesn’t have to.

Letting our light shine means letting the Light of Christ naturally shine through as we develop our strengths that we have been given.

And if that means that your “shining” looks different, smaller, less important, or less interesting than the ways that other people “shine”, it truly doesn’t matter.

If we are doing good works and leaning into our unique strengths, Christ can help us become more than we are now.

He can amplify our light and stretch us to become even brighter.

So what is YOUR unique way that you can shine? It will probably look different than mine, or your spouse’s, or your friend – but comparison is the thief of joy.

So turn your attention to the Savior – how can you let your personal God-given light shine in the best way that only you can?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post A gospel for introverts first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I told her that we didn’t have any juice in the car, but that she could have some water.

She started getting upset and asked for juice again.

I offered her the water again, and she reluctantly took it.

And then she asked for juice again.

When I told her that we didn’t have any in the car, she started crying.

“I just want some juice!”

She is two years old, and this was a completely developmentally appropriate conversation.

(At least, back me up if you have also tried to raise a two-year-old ????.)

She doesn’t have emotional maturity yet to understand that she can’t have juice whenever she wants it OR how to appropriately deal with frustration when she can’t satisfy her desire.

Have you ever thought about the concept of SPIRITUAL maturity?

Jesus Christ commands us to “be ye therefore perfect”.

I’ve heard quite a few words that people like to substitute for “perfect”, since we know we will not and cannot achieve perfection in this life.

But one of my BYU religious professors told us his version of a translation for “perfect” that has always resonated with me:

Be ye therefore SPIRITUALLY MATURE.

We can’t get to “perfection”. But we CAN see ourselves sliding farther and farther on the sliding scale of spiritual maturity.

Are we doing what we are supposed to do without needing to be checked in on?

Do we nitpick commandments and find “loopholes”?

Do we act on our own accord to do good?

Do we understand that rewards may be delayed?

We all start out as emotional toddlers who need constant, constant, CONSTANT direction, reassurance, and correction.

But our loving Savior wants us to develop spiritual maturity.

As you study the beatitudes and other wise counsel straight from our Savior this week, I challenge you to look at each commandment on a sliding scale and ask yourself:

How can I be more spiritually mature in fulfilling this commandment?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Be ye therefore spiritually mature first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

At dinner time, the boys with the longer reach were able to grab the most food.

But the family realized that this was bringing a lot of contention.

Greed from the older boys, and resentment from the older boys.

And so they counseled together and came up with a solution:

Each boy had to keep at least one foot on the floor when they reached for more food.

This led to a fun way to eliminate contention.

President Nelson (who shared a version of the above story) counseled:

“My concern is that contention is becoming accepted as a way of life. From what we see and hear in the media, the classroom, and the workplace, all are now infected to some degree with contention.”

He said that in 1989.

I think it’s powerful to notice two things:

First, contention is literally from the devil.

He will try anything to get us to avoid the first two great commandments – to love God, and to love others.

But the second lesson is much more hopeful:

Rooting out contention starts at home.

The parents of the boys at the table didn’t let the contention stay. They didn’t throw up their hands and say, “Boys will be boys!”

They modeled and encouraged their sons to find a way to solve the problem in unity, while getting rid of contention.

Kyle and I know as our kids grow that this will be one of our biggest responsibilities – to show them that differences can be solved by working together.

We can show them to avoid contention.

But in order to show, we have to know how to do that.

I believe fully and completely that we can stand up for the things we believe in, point out injustice, discuss various opinions, and be powerful forces for good, without needing any contention.

And how did our Savior teach the people to turn away from this evil attitude?

Of course, the answer is to turn to Jesus Christ.

He is the one who shows us the true worth of others, who wants us to feel nothing but love for the people we interact with every day.

But we have to try – we have to want it. We have to ask our Savior to remove all contention from our hearts. And then we can receive.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Literally of the devil first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

They have different jobs and roles to fulfill, but they are united in Their purpose. 

And that’s what makes this whole eternal salvation thing possible. 

We have One who is the loving Father of our spirits, we have One who atoned for our sins and showed the example, and we have One who carries messages to our heart and mind. 

Same purpose. Different jobs.

What a beautiful pattern for us to follow here on earth!

In our ward families, in our jobs, in many organizations, this is a great pattern – to focus on the unity of purpose while fulfilling different jobs.

But my favorite example of this is in marriage. 

It’s super easy to build up resentment in marriage. 

Resentment because it’s pretty impossible for two people to do exactly the same things all of the time and have a functioning household or life. 

Things are unfair all the time. 

I remember right after we got married, Kyle and I were both coming home from long days at work/school, and he asked me, “What do you have planned for dinner tonight?” My response was, “What do YOU have planned for dinner tonight?”

We hadn’t communicated yet about who would be in charge of dinners, and I certainly wasn’t going to bring on the resentment of trying to do a task I secretly despise. 

But then we talked about it. We figured it out. And it’s changed over the years as our lives have changed.

(For what it’s worth, he 100% plans all of our dinners right now and just tells me where to find the recipe. He’s the best. It’s also his birthday today, so wish him a Happy Birthday below!)

But that’s the beauty about unity. We can be united in our purpose and find different ways to get the messy jobs of life done. 

It’s not “fair”. It will never be “fair” if we are keeping score. 

“Different” doesn’t have to come with rankings. And “different” can change all of the time. Different is okay, and in fact, necessary. 

But with communication, love, and respect, we can find peace in the different job titles that we currently wear.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Fighting resentment in marriage first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Can you picture the hen?

The hen who has carried, borne, labored, and delivered her little chicks. 

The hen who has nourished her little chicks time and time again, and gathered them every time they scattered. 

There is such love because there was such sacrifice. 

Selfless service and total sacrifice produce the purest love that is possible. 

This is why our Savior loves us with such tender devotion. Because he sacrificed everything for us.

For me. 

His body was broken for me, and his mental capacity was overwhelmed with the weight of my sins. And because he did that, he loves me fully and completely, in a special bond that can’t quite compare.

Except to a mother. 

Elder Holland gave his iconic, “Behold Thy Mother” talk in 2015, a few years before I became a mother. I remember thinking, “Wow. I can’t even imagine that kind of love.”

I’m now a mom to two. 

There is a lot of sacrifice in order to be a mother. My body has been broken, and healed, and broken, and healed. My mental capacities have been stretched to the limits. 

And because of the sacrifice, there is great love. There is a special bond that comes from that ultimate service. 

There is such great love that Christ can only compare his total love to that of a mother.

I think about the Motherly figures that he learned from, both in heaven and on earth. 

It makes his comparison all the more powerful. 

And so, when Christ calls to us, when he wants to gather us under his wings and give us nourishment, it isn’t out of duty or pity.

It’s out of the pure love and devotion that can only come from a moment of total sacrifice.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Godly, motherly love first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

What does it mean to search the scriptures?

We’ve been commanded to search the scriptures diligently, and yet I know that I am guilty of ignoring that main verb.

But some of my most powerful spiritual experiences have been when I’ve opened my scriptures with a sincere question in mind.

When I’ve looked up topics and followed footnotes and jumped from page to page.

Because I was searching.

Searching for answers, searching for love, searching for God.

But let’s be real, this is sometimes a tricky commandment to fulfill when we are stuck in “checklist” mode, or “reading schedule” mode, or “a chapter a day” mode.

(These modes are not bad in and of themselves at all, and can still lead to beautiful personal revelation.)

But the freedom and excitement of opening the scriptures with a question in mind, and then SEARCHING for an answer that you know will come, is powerful.

I love how we focus on approaching General Conference with a specific question in mind.

And we have full trust that we will receive at least part of the answer to that question throughout the sessions.

And I think we can use that same strategy with our scripture study.

No matter the book, section, or chapter, we can have full trust that we will receive an answer.

I’m always shocked at the specific direction that I find in the pages of the scriptures.

So what’s your question you are wondering right now? Big or small.

Follow Mormon’s counsel in 3 Nephi 10, and go search for it!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post What does it mean to SEARCH? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Have you ever felt that discomfort before? I have. 

That feeling where you know you are doing something you shouldn’t be, and yet you haven’t mustered enough courage or strength or whatever to actually change yet. 

It feels icky. 

And Christ doesn’t want us to stay in that position. 

He doesn’t want our mind at war with our body. He wants our desires and our actions to align as much as possible. 

He wants to give us peace. 

But this is where many of the Nephites were caught when the signs of Christ’s death came. 

Although the exact time of Christ’s death was not certain, they knew exactly what was coming.

Prophets had prophesied of the death and destruction that was sure to come. They had commanded all to repent and come unto Christ. They had warned that this would be their fate.

And yet they hadn’t made that change yet. 

And that change?

Is called repentance. 

Christ wants us to repent. He pleads for us to change. He asks us to get out of that spiritual discord where our knowledge and actions are at odds with each other. 

He’s even okay if we make the same mistake again – AS LONG AS we desire to try and change again. 

In other words, as long as we repent again. 

Repentance is constant because change is constant. 

And when Christ’s voice invited all within the sound of his voice to turn to him repent, it was the most loving message he could have sent. 

So how can we change a little more for the better today? What’s something that we’ve felt uncomfortable with recently? 

How can we repent?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post O that we had repented! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.