Growing up, we are taught about the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. ⁣

That’s what I’m teaching my little kids right now. ⁣

But somewhere along the way, I realized life is a whole lot messier than that. ⁣

There really is a spectrum of how we choose to respond to different situations.

Whether or not we serve others, worship in the temple, or choose to be a good spouse are complicated concepts that depend on lots of little choices.

Like… there are a lot of options for every single little thing. ⁣

In D&C 29:35, the Lord teaches: ⁣

“Behold, I gave unto him that he should be an agent unto himself” (meaning Adam).⁣

Agency is the power that we have to become whoever we want to be. ⁣

In the million degrees of every aspect of life, we get to choose and work toward where we want to be. ⁣

How service-oriented, how kind, how educated, how devoted to a calling, how temple-loving, how patient…⁣

We get to choose. ⁣

Not so much in a “big picture” kind of way (because I would totally choose to be awesome at every single one of those and more!)⁣

But in the day-to-day interactions. ⁣

How much am I going to push, to get outside my comfort zone, to decide to become a little bit better person instead of staying as who I am?⁣

That’s the real test of agency. ⁣

I can only imagine our Heavenly Parents watching us and seeing opportunity after opportunity pass by, and then cheering when we decide to move a step forward that day. ⁣

We aren’t going to reach the “best” in every area⁣.

But we can decide to use our agency to move that needle forward just a tick every single day. ⁣

Agency is so important to our Heavenly Father that He allows so many people to use it terribly each and every day. ⁣

It is so so so important that we all choose exactly who we want to be. ⁣

So who am I choosing to be today? Where are my priorities and my heart? ⁣

Do I like the person I’m choosing to be?⁣

Because agency gives me the power to become whoever I’d like to become. ⁣

And… I think I’d like to become just like my Savior.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Are you good or bad? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But guess what the Lord says?

“Mine elect hear my voice and harden not their hearts.” (D&C 29:7)

What if the Lord isn’t just mentioning the characteristics that the already “elect” people have?

What if He is telling us what to do to become “elect”?

That means people are “elect” or “chosen” because they CHOOSE to hear the Lord’s voice and not harden their hearts.

How do we choose to hear the Lord’s voice?

To me, this looks like trying to listen to promptings, studying General Conference messages, and spending time in His holy house.

It means I actively seek more opportunities to hear His voice and learn His will.

And the “elect” children of God then choose to hear God’s word with humility!

To me, this looks like asking, “Lord, is it I?” instead of thinking about how other people should change.

It looks like hearing something I’m not doing great at and softening my heart so I can improve instead of just growing bitter.

God pours out extra blessings and gives bounteous service opportunities to those who hear Him with a soft and willing heart.

“It takes conscious and consistent effort to fill our daily lives with His words, His teachings, His truths.” – President Nelson

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Are you elect?  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And I love it. ⁣

In case you aren’t familiar, “toxic positivity” is when people respond to other people’s trials or suffering with unhelpful statements like:⁣

“Just think positive! It’ll all be fine!”⁣

“So many people are worse off than you. You’ll be okay!”⁣

“Life is easier when you just stay happy all the time!”⁣

In other words, telling someone to “stay positive” while invalidating or ignoring the tough parts of life. ⁣

I totally used to be a “toxic positivity” person with fantastic motivations who just wanted everyone to be happy. ⁣

And then I learned after going through my own trials that all I really wanted was people who would listen to me and mourn with me and comfort me in real, connecting ways. ⁣

Because, life is not always happy. ⁣

I think of prophets in every book of scripture, feeling great anxiety and sadness. ⁣

I think of our Savior who stopped to help and comfort and mourn. He wept out of compassion, even when He knew things were about to get a whole lot better. ⁣

So when the Lord teaches us in D&C 29:5 to:⁣

“Lift up your hearts and be glad”,⁣

… how are we supposed to pull that off in an authentic way?⁣

When life is sad and unfair and heartbreaking, how do we feel true gladness without forcing ourselves to just “be positive”?⁣

I don’t know that I have the perfect answer, but I do have one. ⁣

I can think about my Savior. ⁣

I can think about my Savior and what He has done for me, personally. His sacrifice, His love, His atonement, His death, and His resurrection. ⁣

And when I focus on the hope and peace that He gives to me, I feel gladness AND sadness. ⁣

He doesn’t take away all the hurt (most of the time).⁣

But He gives me strength to bear it and the peace to not feel quite as worried. ⁣

No forced positivity. No brushing aside. ⁣

But instead, realizing that I can feel both. ⁣

I can feel whatever emotions I need to feel as I go through something tough. ⁣

AND I can lift up my heart and be glad for what my Savior has done and will do for me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Toxic positivity  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I quickly change into stretchy, cozy yoga pants.

I love being comfortable.

I heard someone say once that the biggest struggle of our day will be people getting too accustomed to being “comfortable.”

And I agree, cuz that’s my problem.

Compared to previous generations, we are able to make our lives so comfortable and easy.

And every day it seems like new inventions and services make life even easier and more comfortable.

I know that my Heavenly Father is a God of comfort.

I’ve gone to Him in desperate prayer when I have felt overwhelmed, sad, or unimportant, and He has always comforted me.

But… Heavenly Father is also a God of improvement.

He wants me to change and become better than I was yesterday.

And I know I won’t become more like my Savior by staying comfortable.

When speaking to Joseph, the Lord first comforted him, as He does so well:

“Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that at this time your sins are forgiven you.”

And then the Lord encouraged Joseph to grow:

“. . . but remember to sin no more, lest perils shall come upon you.” (D&C 29:3)

I’ve learned that the Lord will give us comfort exactly when we need it.

And He will also push us to grow exactly when we need, too.

Whether it’s with how we are partaking the sacrament, how we are saying our prayers, or how we are worshiping in the temple…

The Lord is the perfect comforter AND teacher.

“To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain.” – Richard G. Scott

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Stretchy yoga pants  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.