Shame is when we believe we are a bad person because we have done something wrong. ⁣

It keeps us hiding and secretive, because we wouldn’t want anyone else to find out about the “bad person” that we really are. ⁣

Sometimes other people play a lot into shame. ⁣

A kid hears their mom making judgmental comments about the kid next door, and they assume that if their mom knew they were caught up in the same thing, mom would judge and talk badly about them too. ⁣

A youth leader makes an analogy in a church lesson that makes the teen listening feel like they have lost their worth because of a mistake they have made. ⁣

These are so sad, and I’m constantly trying to get rid of any “shaming” that I may inadvertently do in my parenting or in my teaching. ⁣

But other times, I think we are really good at inventing the shame all in our head. ⁣

“They heard the voice of the Lord God… and Adam and his wife went to hide themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.” (Moses 4:14)⁣

Did God shame Adam and Eve when they had their discussion about what had happened?⁣

Not at all.⁣

In fact, I think God gives us a perfect parenting example of asking curious questions, showing love, teaching about a natural consequence, showing even more love, and then even giving them a beautifully symbolic gift of a coat of skins to protect them as they left the garden. ⁣

But Adam and Eve, as natural, fallen, humans at this point, still felt that shame and wanted to hide from God. ⁣

Feeling like we need to hide because we have sinned is a natural thing to do. ⁣

But the more that we learn about the nature of God and Christ, ideally, the less shame we feel.⁣

Because we are instead filled with Their love. ⁣

God never turns away anyone who wants to run toward Him and ask for help, no matter what sins they’ve committed. ⁣

So where do we turn when we have sinned?⁣

Do we hide it and hope no one ever knows? Or do we place it at the Lord’s feet in full humility, ready to be cleansed and changed?

“Because of Jesus Christ, our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us.” –  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Hide!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I’ve always wondered what that really means.

I mean, totally just out of curiosity, since secret combinations seem to be so effective at bringing people away from the Lord. ⁣

Here’s my favorite insight from this week:

Cain, the first murderer, gives a perfect summary of the gist of all these oaths and combinations that the adversary uses.

In Moses 5:31, Cain says, “Truly I am Mahan, the master of this great secret, that I may murder and get gain.” ⁣

(Just for context, “Mahan” often refers to “mind”, “destroyer”, or “secret”.) ⁣

Did you catch that false promise?! ⁣

Satan teaches people that they can commit any kind of grievous sin, and that IT WILL WORK FOR THEIR GAIN.

Sometimes, it’s in dramatic ways, like Cain believing that murdering his brother would give him his brother’s flocks. ⁣

But for most people on earth, Satan is much more subtle. ⁣

He convinces us that not keeping a covenant we’ve made will actually be better for our life.⁣

Or that choosing to bend the rules a bit will actually bring much more joy. ⁣

Or that selfishness is actually much more healthy than service and empathy. ⁣

But it’s not true. ⁣

Satan has NOT discovered some secret loophole for gain.⁣

Because his lie has always been the same:⁣

“God tells you to keep all these commandments and try to become like Him? No, I’ve found a secret workaround for all that hard work, and it will make you happier, too.”⁣

It’s a lie. ⁣

It’s a lie that is as old as quite literally the earth itself. ⁣

Committing sin will never bring us on a shortcut to lasting happiness.⁣

And we can push back on any temptations that are trying to convince us that they will.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  Secret combinations  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I was talking with a student who had just called a classmate a bad word during work time. ⁣

It’s a tough lesson to learn as a 6th grader, and so I launched into my tried and true explanation: ⁣

“I’m so sorry that she was being rude to you. I can deal with that separately. ⁣

“But at the end of the day, what’s going to serve you best in life is if you can understand that you always are responsible for the choices you make.⁣

“If she had pushed you, and you fell down, you would not get any consequences for falling down because that is a natural reaction that would happen to anyone.⁣

“If she has been rude to you all class, you can’t really control how frustrated you feel. But you could have chosen to come and talk to me, or you could have moved to a new seat, or you could have talked to her in a respectful way.⁣

“You still made this specific decision, and so you’ll need to deal with the consequences for this choice.”⁣

I had given this same talk to countless other middle schoolers whose first reaction to getting caught doing something was to put the blame on someone else. ⁣

It’s one of the most powerful life lessons that both Adam and Eve demonstrate beautifully for us.⁣

Eve could have put all the blame on the serpent, and Adam could have put all the blame on Eve. ⁣

But they both, after giving explanations for their motivation, took full responsibility for their actions:⁣

“I did eat.” – Adam, Genesis 3:12⁣

“I did eat.” – Eve, Genesis 3:13⁣

When I’m praying, I notice how tempting it can be to put the blame on someone else:⁣

My kids were so crazy that they made me lose my patience and yell today!⁣

And yet it is so much more empowering to realize that I still made the choice:⁣

My kids had a lot of energy today. And I chose to yell when I couldn’t handle my emotions anymore. I feel badly about this, and I want to do better at dealing with all that frustration when it happens. ⁣

Personal accountability makes it so much easier to repent, to change, and to improve! ⁣

How has personal accountability been a blessing in your life?

“Spiritual maturity is understanding that we cannot blame anybody else for our actions.” – Elaine Cannon

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post She made me do it!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I grew to love those kids, but every day was an exercise in my patience, classroom management, crisis management, and attitude, to say the least! ⁣

I moved to a new school the following year, and these kids were a dream. ⁣

I remember coming home after the first day and telling my husband that this was going to be a much better year. ⁣

After the first week of school, my co-teacher, who I swapped the exact same kids with every day after lunch, sat down with me to debrief. ⁣

I sat there shocked as he went on and on about how rough these kids were! ⁣

He had been teaching at that exact same school for 10 years, and he said it was the worst group of kids he had ever had. ⁣

Our attitudes toward our two shared classes were almost completely shaped by the differing experiences we had prior to that moment. ⁣

In that moment, I realized that so much of our experience here on earth is about comparison. ⁣

Adam and Eve learned this lesson very early on.

In Moses 5:10-11, Adam said:⁣

“Because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy…” ⁣

Eve said, “Were it not for our transgression… we never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption”. ⁣

As tempting as it can be to wish for smooth-sailing throughout life, with perfectly organized and balanced schedules, it can’t be so. ⁣

There’s a purpose for the busy seasons, for the chaos, for the trials and struggles. ⁣

We need both! ⁣

We need the rough times so that we can actually find the joy when the blessings flow.

“Opposition is an essential part of the divine plan for helping us grow, and in the midst of that process, we have God’s assurance that, in the long view of eternity, opposition will not be allowed to overcome us.” – President Oaks

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Opposing 6th graders first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

There’s always something I should be doing, right?⁣

I remember, after being in school for years, going straight to BYU, immediately getting a teaching job and teaching for 4 years, and then quitting…⁣

I suddenly had a newborn to care for, and nothing else to do. ⁣

Sometimes, the newborn took a lot of attention. ⁣

But other times, the newborn didn’t need anything while she napped for a long time, and I felt like there wasn’t anything for me to do. ⁣

No homework to finish, no lesson plans to write, no papers to grade… Just, nothing. ⁣

And I felt so guilty just doing nothing. ⁣

Was I supposed to organize my kitchen now? Redo the laundry room? Prep dinners? Scrub a toilet?⁣

I now look back and think: “Oh, I wish I would have enjoyed that more and just relaxed, guilt free!”⁣

But I still struggle with thinking that the only reason I can truly relax is because I don’t have anything on my to-do list. ⁣

But what happened during the Creation?⁣

“And the Gods concluded upon the seventh time, because that on the seventh time they would rest from all their works which they (the Gods) counseled among themselves to form; and sanctified it.” (Abraham 5:3)⁣

The day of rest was PLANNED. ⁣

It wasn’t just “Wow, we totally finished everything ahead of schedule! I guess we can take a day off to do nothing, since there isn’t anything else important to do!”⁣

It was deliberate— a day set aside for the ESSENTIAL purpose of rest. ⁣

What a concept. ⁣

So, if you are like me, and feel that weight of guilt that you always need to be doing something, let’s take a hint from the Lord God’s example: ⁣

Plan for rest.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Plan for rest  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“And out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight”. (Genesis 2:9)⁣

I think of God, and Jesus, and Adam, and possibly others using their priesthood powers of creation to bring plants, trees, oceans, stars, birds, and so much more into existence. ⁣

And we have been given the power to create, too. ⁣

Not just with a canvas and a paintbrush, because honestly, I don’t do great creating there. ⁣

Being “creative” is usually seen as the composer, the drama teacher, the artist, the quilter, the chef…⁣

But we each have so much that we are able to create each day. ⁣

We can create what our attitude is like. ⁣

We can create the family culture in our home. ⁣

We can create love and acceptance where there wasn’t any before. ⁣

We can create strong testimonies by studying areas we wish we knew more about. ⁣

We can create time to make God a priority in our life. ⁣

We can create memories with those we love. ⁣

We can create stronger relationships by choosing to serve others. ⁣

We can create peace even when surrounded by chaos. ⁣

We can create laughter while doing hard work at the same time. ⁣

We can create unity where there was judgment and division. ⁣

Creation is powerful. ⁣

It’s the opposite of being a victim of our circumstances.

We realize that we have the power to create real results in our life. ⁣

And it can all be tied back to faith. ⁣

Faith, placed correctly in Jesus Christ, can give us the courage and the strength to create these moments and these feelings each day. ⁣

“A most wonderful thing is that our Heavenly Father extends to us an invitation to participate in His creative work.” – Elder Gerald Causse

The great Creator can even guide us in what to create, and when. ⁣

So, what have you created today?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Create with God first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But my biggest hang up has been “how”?⁣

How do I know what to keep and what to eliminate?⁣

I’ve heard the fantastic advice about “good, better, and best”.⁣

But even that can feel a little vague at times. ⁣

How do I actually know what things are “good” and which are “better”? 

One word really stood out to me as I read the account of the Creation that has never popped out before:⁣

YIELD⁣

The Lord is constantly talking about what various fruits or vegetation will yield. ⁣

And everything is intended to yield something similar to what it is— trees yielding fruit that will produce new fruit trees; grains yielding seeds that will produce the same plants. ⁣

What a simple way to see what is good and what is not!⁣

What does this action or activity YIELD in my life?⁣

Does it yield a closer relationship to God or not?⁣

Does it yield a better relationship with my husband and kids or not?⁣

Does it yield personal development that uplifts me?⁣

Those are the things I want to keep. ⁣

And, admittedly, sometimes I have to look at the long-term yield. ⁣

Family scripture study with three little kids doesn’t always produce an awesome short-term yield. ⁣

But I know I’m sewing seeds for a much delayed harvest on that one, so I’ll keep it (although we’ll probably play around with what it looks like to make sure it’s working alright).⁣

So I think I’ll focus on weeding out some of the stuff that isn’t yielding what I’d like. ⁣

Or maybe it’s only yielding temporary fruits that are clearly taking way too much of my time and energy to cultivate for such little payoff. ⁣

God only created living creatures and plants that could multiply and yield after the manner that they are. ⁣

I’ve only got a limited amount of time in this life, and I want to make sure my good intentions and my divine potential are yielding results that are just as good and divine as I am. ⁣

What am I yielding?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post What are you yielding? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Gratefully, that has not been the case in my life thus far. ⁣

But… I sure face temptations. ⁣

In my teenage years, the temptations were more focused on “choosing the wrong”. ⁣

It wasn’t all that difficult to figure out where the enemy was tempting me: to lie, to cross that line, to make that choice. ⁣

It was a clear temptation to do something I knew logically was wrong. ⁣

But as I’ve matured spiritually, I’ve recognized that the adversary has needed to change tactics with me. ⁣

Now the temptations are more like “choose this fun thing over this thing that would be best” or “you’re doing fine compared to these other people so no need to improve” or “you’ll never be good enough so why even bother trying”. ⁣

And I’ve noticed it’s actually harder to call these out as “temptations”.⁣

But Moses gives us the perfect pattern that can help. ⁣

When we remember who we are and our divine identity, the temptations are a whole lot easier to call out and rebuke. ⁣

“I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten… Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not”. (Moses 1:13-16)⁣

Elder Stevenson taught:⁣

“Command the enemy of your soul by saying: ‘Go away! You have no glory. Do not tempt or lie to me! For I know I am a child of God. And I will always call upon my God for His help.’”⁣

He tempts and he lies. That’s his work. ⁣

God’s work and glory is infinitely more magnificent. ⁣

And we are His children. ⁣

The more I understand this, the easier it is to identify: “Wait a second, why would I ever think that it’s not worth trying to improve? I’m a daughter of God and so of course I’m going to keep trying.”⁣

“I’m a daughter of God and I know that so much more joy comes from service and work than from another round of that TV show.”⁣

“I’m a daughter of God so I know I can’t compare myself to others to judge my progress. I want to keep getting closer to God, no matter what.”⁣

Knowing my identity makes it easier to call out the lies.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Calling out the lies  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Like, there were HUGE binders that got passed around. ⁣

Binders filled with sheets for taking meals to someone in need, asking for donations for hygiene kits, volunteering to clean the temple, and pretty much anything else I could think of.⁣

And I would watch certain women in my ward who would always sign up for everything. ⁣

They’d go through every paper and write their name next to every opportunity they could. ⁣

And I remember thinking, “I want to be like that someday”. ⁣

Before the world was, when God the Father asked who He should send to create the earth and help fulfill His purpose, there was someone else who volunteered. ⁣

Our Savior Jesus Christ said, as recorded in Abraham 3:27: “Here am I, send me.” ⁣

He volunteered. ⁣

He didn’t have to, and yet He stepped up. ⁣

And why?⁣

He volunteered out of love for us. ⁣

He loved us so much that He voluntarily agreed to be our Savior. ⁣

We are so loved, and it means that we have this same intimate connection to our Savior that we have with anyone else who has ever chosen to serve us. ⁣

I’m sure that Jesus would be the person writing His name on every sheet that gets passed around in a church meeting, out of pure love.

I’ve got some mortal limits to what I’m able to do, and I’ve learned that sometimes me saying “no” to a sign up sheet means I’m actually saying “yes” to more family time.⁣

But anytime that I’m able to say to the Lord: “Here I am! I’m ready to serve! Send me!” ⁣

Anytime that I’m able to CHOOSE to do something new out of love, I feel like the Savior’s cheering me on. ⁣

And whether the volunteer opportunities come through Relief Society, a community group, work, or through individual prayer, every chance that I get to say “Here am I! Send me!” is a chance to practice using my agency for good.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Volunteer binders first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I sat through a fascinating church discussion one time about this concept. ⁣

“If you feel any fear, it means you’ve lost your faith. If you had perfect faith in God, you’d never feel fear.”⁣

One person made this comment and some agreed. ⁣

Another said:⁣

“I’ve had to deal with some truly terrifying things in my life, and I have felt fear. But I feel like it was a natural response to what I was facing.”⁣

Others agreed with this. ⁣

I feel like “fear” can often be a loaded word at church. ⁣

We’ve been told to fear not, and yet here we are feeling fear from time to time. ⁣

Which is why this verse from Moses jumped out to me so much: ⁣

“Moses began to fear exceedingly; and as he began to fear, he saw the bitterness of hell. ⁣

“Nevertheless, calling upon God, he received strength”. (Moses 1:20)⁣

That word: NEVERTHELESS. ⁣

Moses felt fear. ⁣

And for great reason too— the adversary was literally yelling at Moses to worship him. ⁣

It was a scary situation. ⁣

So Moses felt fear. ⁣

NEVERTHELESS Moses still called upon God and received strength to know what to do next to conquer his trial. ⁣

It sure doesn’t sound like Moses waited for all the fear to leave before he started calling on God. ⁣

The fear and the faith-filled pleading to God happened at the same time. ⁣

And it resulted in great strength. ⁣

I think we can feel fear in our life from time to time and nevertheless, still choose to pray to God for strength to know the next step to take. ⁣

I’ve had some terrifying moments where I’ve felt some fear at the same time that I’ve been filled with faith that God could give me the answer. ⁣

And truthfully, those moments have given me some of the most powerful experiences in my life. ⁣

I don’t think Moses dwelt in fear. I think he felt the fear and then got rid of it pretty soon after. ⁣

But his fear didn’t negate the fact that he also had faith in that moment, knowing exactly who to call on to be delivered from that fear.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Is fear a sin? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.