“Make sure you see Kyle get super stressed or angry about something.

“See how he responds to that pressure, and then make sure you are okay with his response.”⁣

It was great advice, because admittedly, we had been kind of living a fairytale dating experience.⁣

Yeah, we had seen each other deal with minor stresses, but we hadn’t seen how each of us responded to really big pressures yet. ⁣

But finally, the opportunity presented itself.⁣

(Kyle— I’m so sorry if I unknowingly wished the big trial into existence for my own selfish purposes.)

I saw how Kyle dealt with a huge, frustrating setback, one that took a hit on his ego.⁣

And… I was totally cool with how he responded. ⁣

I saw how he worked through problems, how he handled big emotions, and how I could support him through tough times.

It was a great little confirmation that he would make a great choice for me as a spouse. ⁣

And I’m still happy with my decision all these years later!

When we read about Joseph’s reaction to seeing all of his brothers again after all these years, it can be difficult to figure out why he does what he does: ⁣

He accuses them of being spies, imprisons one brother, frames another, makes dramatic demands, and doesn’t want to give away who he truly is. ⁣

But to me, it looks like Joseph is just trying to see who his brothers really are after all these years. ⁣

Did they care at all about what they had done to Joseph? Had they repented? Did they love Benjamin? How were they treating his father? ⁣

A great way to find out someone’s character is to see how they respond to stress or pressure. ⁣

Because… isn’t that what God basically does to us?⁣

He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us, or allows us to experience, tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains so that we can prove to Him, and to ourselves, what truly matters most to our hearts. ⁣

Who do we choose, ESPECIALLY when times are tough?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Great dating advice!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And I said “Yup, yup I do.”⁣

Between the two of us, we had a broken A/C, broken water heater, weeds galore, car damage, pregnancy pains, broken garbage disposal, crazy work schedules and hectic personal schedules. ⁣

And all of it had happened within the last week. ⁣

Isn’t that how life is?⁣

All at once or nothing at all. ⁣

I’m sure Father Jacob felt this “all at once” emotional pain overcome him when he saw his sons return from their first trip to Egypt. ⁣

Joseph had been gone for years, but I’m sure the pain was still fresh. Simeon was now imprisoned in Egypt. And they wanted to take Benjamin with them when they returned?! He would surely be taken from him, too!⁣

It’s no wonder that he cried out, just like many of us have:⁣

“All these things are against me.” (Genesis 42:36)⁣

Sometimes, it sure seems like this is the case. ⁣

You can’t catch a break, the struggles keep piling up, and you can’t seem to find a tender mercy anywhere. ⁣

Why is everything against me?! ⁣

Guess what we get reminded of in Psalm 56:9?⁣

“God is for me.”⁣

THINGS may be against us. Air conditionings and garbage disposals may be out to make our lives miserable. ⁣

Or just the natural circumstances of living as a human in a fallen world make life rough. ⁣

But GOD will always be FOR US. ⁣

Do I believe that? ⁣

Do I really believe that?⁣

Honestly, I do. And it’s gotten me through plenty of rough weeks. ⁣

It’s kept me focused on gratitude. It’s kept me grounded in prayer. It’s kept me KNOWING that things will work out, even if it doesn’t look like it in the moment, and even if “work out” looks differently than I hope. ⁣

Everything might be against me. ⁣

But God is for me. ⁣

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post All these things are against me first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Because the adversary wants us to believe that if we forgive someone, we have said that what they did was okay, and that we are releasing them from all their consequences. ⁣

But that is just not true.⁣

Long after Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave, they were almost shocked to discover that Joseph had forgiven them. ⁣

Even YEARS later, after their father Jacob died, the brothers were afraid that Joseph had just been putting on an act for their dad.⁣

And that now he would retaliate. ⁣

Because who would actually forgive their brothers for doing something like they had done? ⁣

But Joseph dismissed their groveling after their father had died and said:⁣

“Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.” ⁣(Genesis 50:21)

Can you imagine forgiving family members for saying terrible things about you, physically harming you, devaluing you, and literally removing you from the family for 22 years? ⁣

And yet, Joseph forgave. ⁣

That didn’t change how wrong the brothers had been.⁣

And it didn’t affect any divine consequences that our perfect Judge would dole out. ⁣

But it gave Joseph joy and peace. ⁣

We don’t know how much Joseph interacted with his brothers after they all moved to Egypt. ⁣

Maybe Joseph had strong boundaries with certain brothers, and kept a respectful distance. ⁣

Maybe Joseph felt prompted to fully embrace them and let them into his life. ⁣

But his words at the end of Genesis tell us that he was ready to comfort and nourish them as needed. ⁣

The adversary is so good at feeding us lies about forgiving those who have wronged us, even in very serious degrees. ⁣

But the Savior commands us all to forgive.⁣

Why? To find that internal peace, and truly turn it all over to God.

When have you seen blessings from forgiveness in your life?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Unimaginable forgiveness  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

It seemed like every minute had some sort of planned-out commitment, and my brain was at capacity trying to keep track of it all.

And then, my daughter came home with a note in her backpack.

The note explained an upcoming dress-up day at school and an extra project she needed to finish at home. 

I felt like my world had just exploded.

I was barely hanging on, and now I had to add these new things into the mix?!

I immediately said to God, “Why?! Why can’t I get a break? I need a rest!”

Immediately, a surprisingly silly answer came into my mind… the actual answer doesn’t matter as much as the result:

It helped me realize how insignificant my current problems were in the grand scheme of things.

I was able to laugh, set some boundaries, and move forward while having fun during that busy week. 

Sometimes, I’m like Joseph of Egypt, who could clearly see his trials for what they were:⁣

“God meant it unto good”. (Genesis 50:20)⁣

And other days, I’m more like Joseph’s brothers who blamed God for every poor circumstance they found themselves in:⁣

“What is this that God hath done unto us?” (Genesis 42:28) ⁣

I think I’m going to give myself grace for the days that I feel like Joseph’s brothers. ⁣

I’m gonna pray a lot more, because boy, does God like to answer prayers in exactly the way I need them answered. ⁣

And I hope I can get better at sticking with Joseph of Egypt’s humble mindset. ⁣

It’s all for my good!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post It’s all for my good  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.