I was paying attention… then I zoned out.

And then he finished the training.

“Any questions?”

Purely to protect my pride, I said “Nope, that all sounds great!”

But I had no clue what to do for most of the tasks.

I’ve found this dichotomy interesting to reflect on:

My supervisor did exactly what he was supposed to do.

He taught me everything. He was very kind.

But I had completely disengaged as a learner, and it was reflected in how much help I needed the first few days of the job.

Had he failed his training because I struggled?

I don’t think so.

A lot of emotions run through my mind when I read this statement in the Family: A Proclamation to the World:

“Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

But one thing I’ve been focused on is:

The effectiveness of my teaching is not always reflected in how well the students learn.

Both the teacher and the learner need to be willing in order for true understanding to occur.

This doesn’t excuse poor or half-hearted teaching, but it takes our complete dependence on results in order to evaluate the effectiveness of teaching.

We, as parents, are asked to teach our children how to love, to serve, to work hard, and to keep the commandments.

Not to make them be loving, service-filled, hard-working, commandment-keepers.

We have a solemn responsibility to teach as well as we possibly can, pleading with the Lord to know exactly what our children might need from us.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post We can teach but not force learning first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

What would be gone if every child was raised with this knowledge?

Maybe hatred would disappear.

Maybe competition and jealousy.

Maybe self-loathing and criticism.

I know this won’t happen right now.

But I can control what my children learn.

How might they behave differently with this knowledge in their life?

Quin is a natural leader and quite brilliant.

I can see a future where she understands her divine destiny, as well as everyone else’s, and she teaches and leads with love and kindness.

Barrett loves to make people laugh and handles any vision impairment with naive bliss.

I can see a future where he understands who he really is, and uses humor to set a powerful example of being confident before others and the Lord.

Now who knows the path their life will really take, or the decisions that my kids will make, but I want to do my absolute best to ground them in this beautiful knowledge that I think can transform the world.

“Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” -The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Do we teach this clearly enough to every young person we come in contact with?

Do WE believe it?

When we know that we have Heavenly Parents who love us, when we REALLY know this, I think we can change the world one person at a time.

Feeling loved and feeling important can change anyone.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Beloved children of heavenly parents first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I wanted to be very selfish about my temple experience.

Life has been… all over the place right now. I try not to be that person who complains the whole time they are pregnant, but man, does it take a toll on my body and my mind.

So I prayed to feel peace.

I prayed to get some guidance.

I prayed to feel some joy and learn something new.

But the whole entire time, I could not stop looking away from the name I held on a little piece of paper in my hand.

Marguerite.

From France in the 1770s.

I don’t know who she is, but my mind kept going back to her.

I was making very real, very essential covenants on her behalf.

If she wanted to accept these covenants and ordinances, her eternal progression would be completely changed.

Did she have kids?

What was her relationship like with her parents?

What were her hopes and dreams, her interests?

What was she doing literally right now?

This little service that I was doing for her could possibly bring her closer to her family members.

And no matter what, it could allow her to return to God’s presence.

“Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.” -The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The temple is all about uniting families, AND allowing individuals to enter into God’s presence.

I tried to focus on finding solutions to my own problems in the temple, but instead I spent the whole session thinking about someone I’ve never met before.

Temple worship is certainly for our own benefit.

But every time we perform an ordinance for someone, whether it’s a baptism or a sealing, we are actually making it possible for someone else to receive a completely transformed future, too.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Temple work isn’t for me first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I had been called as the Ward Activities Co-Chair in our singles ward at BYU.

For the month of November, my co-chair and I had planned a big Friends-giving Feast for the entire ward in our church building.

I was in charge of decorations and costumes for the party, and I had planned to make over 100 paper hats for everyone to wear as they arrived.

As the party day arrived, my committee members were suddenly all too busy to help me cut out, glue, and tape these hats out of construction paper.

Kyle and I hadn’t been dating for super long at this point, but I thought I’d see if he could help me out.

I ran over to his apartment with stacks of construction paper, a few samples, and he immediately set aside whatever homework he was doing to help me out.

I asked him to do whatever he could, and that I’d be back once I took care of a few other things.

A couple hours later, I got a text that they were all done.

It was a big enough task that I knew it had taken him quite a bit of sacrifice to do. He wasn’t just casually trying to be nice to me; he really cared.

The ward party was a smashing success.

But ever since that day, my husband has shown nothing but kindness and love and respect for me when I rope him into doing whatever random project, party, or huge activity I end up being in charge of.

When I was reading The Family: A Proclamation to the World, I read a sentence I know I’ve read many times before, but I took off the last 4 words of it and found completely new meaning.

“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other”.

If you are married, it’s a solemn responsibility that we have to actively love and care for our spouses.

As life gets even busier and busier than when we were both college students, it gets even easier to let that intentional loving and caring slip by.

Marriage is so important. And our spouses deserve our best, not our leftovers.

And so focusing on loving and caring for our spouses, even when life is busy and messy, will show God that we understand the sanctity of marriage.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The moment I knew first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Just kidding.

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” – The Family: A Proclamation to the World

We’ve done a lot of “recreational activities” in our family recently, with it being the holidays.

Which means our levels of “forgiveness” and “patience” are probably a little lower than usual.

Families are the best place to see each other’s weaknesses and strengths, right?

We see our kids’ best qualities and their absolute worst moments.

We see our spouse at their absolute best and their weakest.

And we show our most awesome versions of ourselves, and we make our biggest mistakes.

Which means that together as a family unit, we are gonna have times when we are totally on it, and other times when we have completely fallen off the wagon.

Like, way off the wagon.

Here’s what I’m doing this week, and I encourage you to join me.

When looking at this statement, what is the ONE thing that stands out the most to you as an area your family is doing pretty well?

Give yourself credit for the good things I know you are doing.

(As a note: teaching your family about forgiveness looks a whole lot more like extending forgiveness than teaching a formal lesson on the topic.)

And what is the ONE thing that stands out to you as the area your family can work on improving right now?

If your kids are old enough, you can ask them what they think, too!

Maybe you want to get back into the habit of praying with your spouse.

Maybe you want to get your family involved in working together more.

Maybe you need to stop all the to-do lists and just have more fun together.

Maybe you need to repent from a bad habit all your family members know about, and so you decide to talk to your family about how you are trying to change and want their support.

Getting overwhelmed with everything your family is failing at is about as helpful as getting overwhelmed with all of your weaknesses at the same time.

One step at a time is the best way to walk.

And I think our marriages and families are important enough to spend a little bit of time looking for ways to improve!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The key to a successful family! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Like, “we believe the prophet will still receive revelation for things in the future”.

But it’s just as powerful to realize that this is a personal statement, too.

I believe all that God has revealed to me personally in the past.

Those promptings about choices to make, those confirmations, that guidance.

I believe all that He does now reveal in my life.

I am seeking out and actively believing the personal revelation that I need right now.

And I believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things that will help me build up the kingdom of God.

I believe this.

I know that I will continue to have difficult questions.

I know that I will continue to have choices to make.

I know that I will experience heartbreaking circumstances in the future.

I know that things will not go according to my plan.

And yet, I believe that He will reveal to me everything that I need to know in order to make it back to Him and improve myself.

I believe that.

And that belief leads to a great deal of trust and confidence as I prove Him right, time and time again.

Personal revelation is a miracle.

Not just as a distant concept of hoping the prophet is doing his part to lead the church.

But as a personal principle that has led me in the past, steers me right now, and gives me confidence in my future.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post He will yet reveal to me first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

There was no way what my HR director was telling me was true.

“But I’ve signed up for short-term disability for the past three years! This is exactly what it is for!”

I told her how each year, I would sign up for insurance benefits on the computer during our little staff meeting at school, and I made sure to always select short-term disability insurance.

“Oh,” the HR director said. “But did you also fill out the physical application for it each year, too?”

I had no clue about a physical application.

She told me that even though all other insurance choices and options were made on the computer, short-term disability insurance required an extra physical paper application.

I’m a fairly competent, intelligent person who had attended the employee benefits meeting every year.

And I truly, honestly did not remember hearing about this extra step.

I was frustrated, devastated, concerned for our financial situation…

But nothing could change that. I hadn’t paid into the insurance, and so I didn’t get it.

It was one of the worst feelings, and I still despise that emotion today—The feeling of being punished for something that you truly had no clue you were doing wrong.

Real life is rough like this sometimes.

Honest mistakes and innocent oversights can have devastating impacts.

I can hardly even imagine a loving Heavenly Father who would hold something over my head that I did not knowingly do.

I think of silly times, like when I thoroughly enjoyed a cake at a neighborhood party, just for my mom to realize it was filled with coffee afterwards, and I felt so guilty.

Or more somber times when I believed I was helping someone out, only to discover that I had unknowingly harmed their progress.

But above all, I am grateful that I will be punished (AKA held accountable) for my own sins (which require a knowledge that there is a principle I am sinning against).

And that I won’t be held accountable for anyone else’s transgressions. Whether it’s Adam, or Eve, or a leader, or a friend.

I will only be held accountable for the sins I choose.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Honest mistakes first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

As a pianist, I have felt the Spirit so many times while playing completely secular pieces of music.

I’ve felt the Spirit while watching a dance recital.

I’ve felt the Spirit while watching a TV show that isn’t about anything religious.

I’ve felt the Spirit while looking at flowers, while reading a book, while driving by new homes that are almost finished.

In my life, feeling the Holy Spirit has not been contained to just when I’m at church or reading my scriptures.

There is so much good in the world that isn’t obviously tied to religious purposes.

But I see the good in accomplishment.

In learning a new skill.

In watching someone try their best.

In feeling the potential of what is to come.

In happiness and joy, devoid of vulgarness.

In viewing carefully crafted creations.

Virtuous, lovely, of good report, praiseworthy.

We can seek after these things!

We can pursue talents, and gifts, and skills, and knowledge!

Good things aren’t contained to my church.

(Although there are so so so many good things within my church.)

But my loving God has given the world so much that goodness is overflowing everywhere.

What is something (not necessarily church-related) virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy that you’ve been seeking out lately?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Good things everywhere first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I remember it was around middle school that religious differences between my friends and me started to become more obvious, and people became curious about what I believed and why I did or didn’t do certain things.

So one day at a friend’s house, one of my closest friends asked, “Cali, so what does your church believe?”

I felt like I had been preparing for this my entire life!

I decided to launch into an explanation about the Plan of Salvation, and I even remember drawing out the whole diagram with arrows, earth life, and ending with the three kingdoms of glory.

That moment was so powerful in my mind because I was totally on my own, having to explain my beliefs. I was proud of what I did.

But I also realized that what I was explaining wasn’t having the impact that I wanted.

I could tell I had lost their attention and their interest. (I’ve always been a very self-evaluative person.)

Should I have started with Joseph Smith instead? Or maybe the Book of Mormon?

This dilemma stuck in my mind for a long time. I wanted to find the right thing to start these conversations with, so that other people would really “get” our religion without me launching into obscure concepts right off the bat.

And then, years later, I saw the opening lesson in the Preach My Gospel manual.

It is a lesson on the First Vision, yes, but the first concept that is taught is:

“God is our loving Heavenly Father.”

That felt so right to me. That’s where I should begin.

And then I made the connection…

What’s that first Article of Faith I had learned all those years ago?

“We believe in God, the Eternal Father…”

We believe in God, and we know that God loves us.

That statement was much more simple than the answer I thought I had been looking for.

But that statement is also so much more powerful.

Do you believe in God?

And do you believe that God is a loving, eternal, Heavenly Father?

What a blessing that is to believe!

And I’ve found that when I share that joy and that belief with others, I am able to give them the quickest glimpse into what truly matters to me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post I believe in God first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I saw a meme recently that said being an adult is basically saying that phrase over and over each week.

I had to laugh, because I know for sure that I’ve said that sentence countless times.

And do things ever “die down”?!

Not really. I mean, maybe a bit. But there’s always “something new” coming up.

It’s life.

And I’ve actually found a lot more joy and acceptance when I lean into that chaos a bit!

Instead of always waiting for things to “calm down”, I find that life is actually pretty good when I accept that there’s always going to be “something”.

There will always be a big event or deadline or life change or serious decision looming.

And it’s all good!

The 13th Article of Faith is so good, but one of my favorite lines is tucked away in the middle of it:

“We have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things.”

Isn’t that awesome?!

NOT: “We have endured many things and hope that things will calm down and we will actually get blessings pretty soon here”.

But instead, embracing the fact that the future is going to be filled with more things to endure!

We aren’t looking for rest and calm in this life. That isn’t our doctrine.

Our doctrine is that we are ready to endure.

We’ve done it in the past, we are ready to do it some more in the future, and we have hope that we can handle it.

So is this week looking crazy for you?

Ready for things to die down a bit?

After December, honestly, maybe they will for a while!

But we are Latter-day Saints who have endured many things, and sure hope to be able to endure all things that will come our way in the future.

We’ve got this.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Enduring forever first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.