A lot.

And even when I try not to complain, I find myself…

Complaining.

I talk with a friend and then realize we just complained the whole time.

I talk with my husband and realize I just complained about everything that went wrong that day.

I think the adversary really wants us to wallow in complaining – and he’s good at it.

He wants us to exaggerate all the bad that’s happening.

To point out how our experiences are lacking.

To compare in order to make it seem like we “have it worse” than the people around us.

I’ve had a rough week.

And I complained a lot.

I complained a lot to God. My prayers were mostly complaining. Asking for help to stop complaining and for a better attitude, but then not doing much to change anything.

I think of my Savior.

My beautiful, light-filled Savior.

Experiencing injustice after terrible circumstance after false accusation.

And still spreading light and joy. And peace and hope.

I think there is some value in a little “vent” session. I don’t want to emanate false positivity. I want to connect with others and empathize.

But I know when I’ve gone a little too far down in the mud.

I want to share more love. More light. More hope.

Life is tough.

But that doesn’t mean that life is bad.

I don’t think God wants us to walk around on this beautiful earth in our beautiful bodies with other beautiful souls… and just murmur.

And I think that might be the key to the slow, painful process of removing complaining from my life –

Gratitude.

Fill it up with so much gratitude that there isn’t room for much else.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Complaining and murmuring first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“But you are being called because the Lord knows you are willing to serve. And He loves to call people who have a desire serve.”

I’ll never forget when the Stake presidency said this to my husband.

There was no pretentiousness.

No holier-than-thou back-patting for his new calling.

It was just –

You have a desire to serve. The Lord needs someone who is willing to serve.

So let’s have you serve in this certain capacity for a while.

Such a cool way to look at callings, right?

We have to accept a calling, meaning we have to signify that we are willing.

But what about when we don’t have an official calling? Or we want something more?

If we desire, we can be the means of doing much good in this generation.

We can talk with God.

And figure out what our current calling is.

As Elaine Dalton shared this week, our calling can sometimes seem so unimportant.

So ordinary.

So mundane.

Because we don’t see the way God sees.

The act of service that your little kid will never remember is adding more love into the world and making their life more peaceful.

The little moment of patience just taught a future leader how to problem-solve on their own.

The text you sent to a friend that led to a short, unimportant conversation answered their prayers in a way you will never understand.

If we have desires,

If we are willing,

The Lord will use us to accomplish much good.

So much good.

And sometimes we have no clue how much good we are creating.

Only God knows all of it.

But if we have desires, and we do the best we can, we will put so much good into the world.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Desires and goodness first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

He crawls and climbs over everything.

He saw his milk bottle and started crying for it.

I gave it to him and it made him happy for a bit.

And then he picked up a smaller toy and put it by his mouth.

I jumped up and grabbed the toy out of his hand, putting it on the counter.

He started crying.

He wanted that toy as much as he had wanted that bottle.

I gave him the bottle and took away the toy.

While I was trying to find something else for him to play with, I thought about his sweet little naive lack of patience.

He just wants whatever he thinks he wants, and he has virtually no understanding for why he can’t have everything he wants right now.

And I know he’ll learn as he gets older – why he can’t put everything in his mouth, why mom can’t give him everything, why some things are dangerous.

But… do we ever really learn all the way?

Just this week, I needed what I thought was an urgent answer to a prayer, but it didn’t come right away. I felt frustrated.

But it turned out that taking more time was exactly the answer I needed.

“Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father.

“Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His” Neal A. Maxwell.

Impatience = pride.

And boy, does pride take a lifetime to remove.

But learning patience is worth it.

It’s the gateway to all other Christlike attributes.

Because at the root of patience is faith in God. Real faith, real trust.

And so I’ll keep learning patience a little more and more every day.

Just like my one year old.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The gateway Christlike attribute first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

The Lord speaks to us in so many ways, and the one He teaches in Section 8 is one of my favorites.

My husband and I recently had to make a financial decision that we were going back and forth on.

We prayed about it a lot, but our hearts weren’t telling us anything yet.

We finally logically came to the conclusion that we should go in one particular way.

After we had made that decision, our hearts started to feel at peace. We felt super confident moving forward with our choice, and we knew we had our answer!

In one of the most famous scriptures in the Doctrine and Covenants, the Lord tells Oliver Cowdery:

“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.”

In other words – the Lord likes to send us his Spirit through both our mind and our heart.

Both!

That feeling in your heart is the Spirit, but that thought in your head that seems so logical is the Spirit, too.

However, I’ve learned they don’t always speak at the same time.

With this financial decision, the logical journey came first. I wanted to feel it in my heart. Desperately.

But I needed to make up my mind before the confirmation came.

I needed to trust my agency and use it wisely.

And then other times, I feel it in my heart before I can work through the logic.

I want it to make sense, but it doesn’t really make sense yet. So I have to move forward in pure faith that my heart is right, and wait for the logic to catch up.

I want the heart and the mind at the same time, but I think the Lord likes to give me opportunities to practice with just one or the other.

Practice my agency with my mind, and practice my faith in God with my heart.

And eventually, sometimes much much later, I feel it in both.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The heart and the mind first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

This was going to be the day I finally got my answer.

This was a couple of years ago, and my husband and I had been trying to make a decision about buying our first home.

We had found a house.

I had a lot of reasons I didn’t want to move there.

A lot.

It was a great list that I kept repeating over and over in my head, almost like proof to Heavenly Father for why He should tell us not to purchase this home.

And as we sat in the sealing room for some proxy sealings, I silently told God that I was ready for an answer about the house.

I anticipated needing to wait and ponder for a while, but the answer came immediately, quietly, and forcefully.

“I already told you. I already spoke peace to your heart. Trust what I told you before.”

And my mind was brought back to the first time I had prayed about this house.

I really felt like we should move there, but I started coming up with my list of “why nots”.

That had been my answer.

I already knew deep down.

I was trying to force an answer that He wasn’t going to give, and He so lovingly brought my mind back to the night when He had already responded.

I think of sweet Oliver Cowdery, who wanted some confirmation that he was doing the correct thing by helping out this Joseph, who many seemed to think was delusional.

And the answer Oliver got?

“If you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.

“Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?” (D&C 6:22-23)

Today, I embark on the final year of my twenties.

And I know that God answers prayers.

If you want to try this out for my birthday today, I invite you to ask God a specific question that has been in your mind, and then read your scriptures.

He might bring to your mind an answer that you didn’t even realize you already had.

Or He might get the message to you in the myriad ways that only He can.

But God answers prayers.

And that is the greatest gift of all!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Remembering the peace first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

He had felt a pull to this young Joseph, and wanted to help him financially.

He went on a journey of “proof” to find professors in New York who could verify the ancient letters.

He felt like he needed to volunteer to scribe for Joseph.

And his wife thought this was all one big deception.

And the two of them temporarily moving into the Smith home for the translation just made things worse.

She was skeptical, sneaky, and just a not-so-great guest.

And so Martin had an idea after his wife returned back home:

If he could just show her some of these beautiful messages that he had been writing down, he could change her mind toward this whole operation, and ultimately, restore his image in her eyes.

But the Lord said no.

But… did the Lord really understand how embarrassing this might be for Martin to continue helping Joseph while his wife spiraled?

Did the Lord get that people were making fun of Martin for giving Joseph money?

Did the Lord know that Martin’s life would be a whole lot harder if there wasn’t any proof?

Of course the Lord did.

Because the Lord asks us to do really hard things.

He asks us to put Him above all.

Above being popular. Above being stylish. Above being funny. Above being well-respected. Above being rich. Above having power.

Above being liked.

Above everything we often crave.

And it’s easier said than done.

But it’s the most important choice we learn to make –

Out of the Lord or our peers, who do we want to “save face” with more?

Whose opinion matters more right now?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Does He realize how difficult this is? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I created my study guide, which required reading through it multiple times, pulling out historical context and creating spiritual questions.

I wrote and recorded my podcast episodes for this week, and read it through at least two more times.

I read it again when I wrote and recorded my Big Picture Monday video.

I’ve read Section 5 recently… a lot.

And yet I still like to study the assigned Sections during the week so that it stays fresh in my brain.

And for quite literally the first time just today, this phrase jumped out to me in verse 34.

The Lord tells Joseph to “stop, and be still”.

I needed to read this phrase today.

I needed it TODAY.

The reminder that sometimes, I need to press pause. I need to stop. I need to say “no”.

But I need to use that “stopped time” not to just veg out and distract myself from my long to-do list.

Instead, I need to use those times to STOP and then BE STILL while connecting with God.

It’s important to stop, but it’s just as important to use that pause to just BE STILL.

To connect with God or rejuvenate my soul in some meaningful way.

And even though I’ve technically read these words dozens of times…

I needed to read them today so that the Spirit could teach me a little lesson that would answer the pleadings of my heart.

The scriptures are awesome.

The Spirit is awesome.

God is awesome.

Feeling grateful today.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Stop, and be still first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Or so my 13-year-old self thought.

I had done something wrong, and I was trying to remember the “steps” that I needed to go through to repent.

And once I went through all the correct steps, then I’d be okay again.

This was just the punishment.

I don’t think I’m alone in admitting that this was what I thought repentance was.

“The thing” you have to go through to pay for the crime.

And it’s probably the place I’ve seen the most spiritual maturity in my current life.

I love that there has been an emphasis more recently that repentance is really a positive action that brings us closer to the Savior!

The Lord spoke to Joseph in D&C 5:21:

“And now I command you, my servant Joseph, to repent and walk more uprightly before me,”

Did you catch that?

When Joseph repents, then he can walk more uprightly!

I just picture that heavy load of guilt and pain being lifted off of weary shoulders so that he can stand up straight and get back to work!

Elder Dale G. Renlund put this in great perspective when he taught:

“The fact that we can repent is the good news of the gospel!

“Guilt can be ‘swept away.’ We can be freed from feelings of despair and the bondage of sin. We can be filled with the marvelous light of God and be ‘pained no more.’

“Repentance is not only possible but also joyful because of our Savior.”

Oh man, doesn’t repentance sound awesome?!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The punishment! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Do you have a desire to bring others closer to Christ?

Then congratulations on your mission call! 

When I was almost 21, I made the very serious decision to not serve a mission for the church.

I had just met a cute guy named Kyle, things were going well, but I still felt like I wanted to serve a mission.

I asked Heavenly Father over and over in prayer to point me in the right direction, and I finally heard a weighty answer: “You can decide. Whatever you want to do.”

I realized that I was going to have to make this decision and own it.

After a lot of deliberation, I solemnly but excitedly decided to forgo the mission.

I made Kyle promise me that we would serve a mission someday as a couple, because I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity to serve.

Now, I still totally want to serve a full-time mission when I’m older, but I’m also realizing that I kind of missed the point.

If we have desires to serve God, then we are called to the work! (D&C 4:3)

Desires = mission call.

Instead of packing up my entire life and moving across the world though, I get the crazy, scary, exciting, agency-packed honor of picking my mission call.

Each of us with a desire to serve gets to create exactly how and when we serve!

Maybe you have created your own custom mission call to lift up those who are having hard times around you.

Maybe you have created your own custom mission call to spread light to your coworkers every day.

Maybe your call is to teach the rising generation of the church how to eat their vegetables and share toys and use the toilet.

Maybe your call is to organize service activities with precision and enthusiasm.

Maybe your call is to work on strengthening your own testimony for a bit before you have the opportunity to share it with other people.

The possibilities are endless, and constantly evolving, and extremely personal.

So what does your mission call look like today?

How can you help build the kingdom?

How can you help gather scattered Israel?

What’s your custom mission call?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post You are assigned to labor first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

There is a God who knows exactly what will happen tomorrow. In your personal life, in your kid’s life, in your neighborhood, in this country…

And yet we each have the personal power to do whatever we’d like to do tomorrow.

Crazy. My mind can’t quite wrap itself around that concept.

But I think that’s why we are so good at thinking we might mess everything up.

We might move to the wrong house, talk to the wrong person, choose the wrong spouse, or make the wrong diet choice.

Because we think that if there is a “right” choice to choose, then we have to avoid the “wrong” thing that will mess it all up.

Now certainly there are sins and decisions that might bring terrible consequences.

But even if I decide to do something truly horrible tomorrow… I will not have messed up God’s plan.

You have not messed up God’s plan.

That thing that you refer to as your “mistake”? It was all a part of the plan. Of your personal spiritual development.

Even something as egregious as a prophet of God choosing to ask a question he knew had already been answered, and loaning out precious translations of ancient records.

Even that can’t ruin God’s plans.

“The works, and the designs, and the purposes of God cannot be frustrated”. Doctrine and Covenants 3:1.

I still want to give it my best each day. I want to choose the right, to receive personal revelation, and to make the best decisions that I can.

But I can feel comfort on the days where everything seems to fall apart. Or when I commit that sin… again. Or when I think how much better life would have been with a different decision.

I’m not messing anything up.

I’m not that powerful.

I can make changes in my life, just as the young prophet learned an unforgettable lesson about listening to God the first time.

But I’m not messing it up.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post You can’t mess it up first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.