Growing up, we are taught about the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do.

That’s what I’m teaching my little kids right now.

But somewhere along the way, I realized life is a whole lot messier than that.

Whether or not we serve others, attend the temple, or choose to be a good spouse are crazy complicated questions that have entire spectrums of choices we get to make each day!

Like… there are a lot of options for every single little thing.

In D&C 29:35, the Lord teaches:

“Behold, I gave unto him that he should be an agent unto himself” (meaning Adam).

Agency is the power that we have to become whoever we want to be.

In the million degrees of every aspect of life, we get to choose and work toward where we want to be.

How service-oriented, how kind, how educated, how devoted to a calling, how temple-loving, how patient…

We get to choose.

Not so much in a “big picture” kind of way (because I would totally choose to be awesome at every single one of those and more!)

But in the day-to-day interactions.

How much am I going to push, to get outside my comfort zone, to decide to become a little bit better person instead of staying as who I am?

That’s the real test of agency.

I can only imagine our Heavenly Parents watching us and seeing opportunity after opportunity pass by, and then cheering when we decide to move a step forward that day.

We aren’t going to reach the “best” in every area, or even come close.

But we can decide to use our agency to move that need forward just a tick every single day.

Agency is so important to our Heavenly Father that He allows so many people to use it terribly each and every day.

It is so so so important that we all choose exactly who we want to be.

So who am I choosing to be today? Where are my priorities and my heart?

Do I like the person I’m choosing to be?

Because agency gives me the power to become whoever I’d like to become.

And… I think I’d like to become just like my Savior.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The overwhelm of agency first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I know a lot of people have different opinions on why some people are considered “elect” or “chosen”, and we could dive into some deeeeeep doctrine if we wanted to.

But I want to keep it simple with a little phrase that jumped out to me in D&C 29:7.

“Mine elect hear my voice and harden not their hearts”.

When I’ve read this before, I’ve thought that the Lord was just mentioning what characteristics elect people have.

But… what if THAT is what makes people “elect”?

What if people are elect and chosen BECAUSE they choose to:

• Hear the Lord’s voice

• Not harden their hearts when they hear His voice

God pours out extra blessings and gives service opportunities to those who are willing to hear Him with a soft and willing heart.

What do you think?

I think these are interesting points to ponder as we look forward to General Conference in just one week.

Are we going to listen?

Or if we can’t listen live for any reason, will we make it our top priority to listen/read as soon as we can?

And as we listen to the words being spoken, will we try to connect with the spirit and really, truly #hearHim?

Will we approach each message with a “Lord, is it I?” mindset, ready to change in any way we are inspired, even if it is unexpected?

Will we keep a soft heart?

I really think that these qualities are what make people elect.

Part of the chosen House of Israel, being gathered together unto Him:

Those who are willing to listen to what God has to say.

Those who make it a priority to listen, even when it is difficult.

Those who hear difficult commandments and soften their hearts in response.

Those who are always looking for ways to improve and to draw closer to Christ.

We can all choose to be part of God’s elect.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post One of God’s elect first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

They are all signs of the Second Coming, as described in Doctrine and Covenants Section 29.

Hailstorms will destroy all of our crops, flies will eat our flesh, and beasts will devour us up.

Sounds awesome, right?!

And there are even more crazy and frightening signs through this Section.

Now, I’m gonna be real.

Usually, when people start talking about signs of the Second Coming, with all their doom and gloom, I start to tune out.

I am all about PRACTICAL application of gospel principles.

(In case you haven’t noticed.)

So honestly, it’s been difficult for me to figure out how knowing these signs can actually change my life right now.

But here is one reason I’ve been thinking about recently when it comes to WHY we should know about the Second Coming—

So much of what we have is temporary.

I don’t know exactly how the Second Coming is going to play out and look in real time, or whether or not I will even be here on the earth to see that time.

But I have a feeling that a lot of my possessions aren’t going to matter.

My hairstyle isn’t going to matter.

The color of my walls in my living room isn’t going to matter.

Which means I’ve gotta focus on what I CAN take with me.

No matter the hailstorms, flies, or whether or not I am gone before then.

My mind.

My heart.

My soul.

What am I doing to nourish those things today?

What am I doing to educate, to soften, to stretch, to show love, and above all, to become more Christlike?

Because that is what will matter in the end.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Why does this matter? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And I love it.

In case you aren’t familiar, “toxic positivity” is when people respond to other people’s trials or suffering with unhelpful statements like:

“Just think positive! It’ll all be fine!”

“So many people are worse off than you. You’ll be okay!”

“Life is easier when you just stay happy all the time!”

In other words, telling someone to “stay positive” while invalidating or ignoring the tough parts of life.

I totally used to be a “toxic positivity” person with fantastic motivations who just wanted everyone to be happy.

And then I learned after going through my own trials that all I really wanted was people who would listen to me and mourn with me and comfort me in real, connecting ways.

Because, life is not always happy.

I think of prophets in every book of scripture, feeling great anxiety and sadness.

I think of our Savior who stopped to help and comfort and mourn. He wept out of compassion, even when He knew things were about to get a whole lot better.

So when the Lord teaches us in D&C 29:5 to:

“Lift up your hearts and be glad”,

… how are we supposed to pull that off in an authentic way?

When life is sad and unfair and heartbreaking, how do we feel true gladness without forcing ourselves to just “be positive”?

I don’t know that I have the perfect answer, but I do have one.

I can think about my Savior.

I can think about my Savior and what He has done for me, personally. His sacrifice, His love, His atonement, His death, and His resurrection.

And when I focus on the hope and peace that He gives to me, I feel gladness AND sadness.

He doesn’t take away all the hurt (most of the time).

But He gives me strength to bear it and the peace to not feel quite as worried.

No forced positivity. No brushing aside.

But instead, realizing that I can feel both.

I can feel whatever emotions I need to feel as I go through something tough.

AND I can lift up my heart and be glad for what my Savior has done and will do for me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Positively glad first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

… I like being comfortable.

I like making others feel comfortable, both physically and emotionally.

Comfort isn’t bad!

In fact, I’ve learned that my Heavenly Father is a God of comfort.

I’ve gone to Him when I’ve struggled or felt completely “less than”.

And He has just comforted me.

Comfort is beautiful and necessary.

But… God is also a God of improvement.

He wants me to change.

To be better than I was yesterday. To overcome that temptation even faster. To love my neighbors more.

To get outside my comfort zone.

Because I’m sure not going to become more like my Savior by staying comfortable.

This is what I see God capture so perfectly time and time again.

When speaking to Joseph, the Lord taught:

“Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that at this time your sins are forgiven you, therefore ye receive these things;

“but remember to sin no more, lest perils shall come upon you.” D&C 29:3

Comfort. And then the encouragement to grow.

I feel many of these feelings when I partake of the sacrament each week.

A perfect mixture of comfort for what I’ve done right, and a push to improve and leave my sins behind.

Sometimes, I think I want comfort as I kneel down to pray. But instead I feel promptings for how I can step up my spiritual connection.

And other times I feel desperate for guidance, and instead I feel overwhelming love and comfort.

Both are important.

We can look for both from our perfectly loving Heavenly Father.

Comfort. And growth.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Comfort and growth first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I can see the picture in my head, and I for sure look ridiculous.

I can imagine others looking at me with all my armor on.

“That looks so restrictive!”

“How do you have any fun with that stuff on?!”

“What are you preparing for? Nobody is coming. It’s not that big of a deal.”

And there sure is a lot going on in order to keep this armor on.

I’m trying to learn truths, share the gospel, keep the Spirit with me, be righteous, and increase my faith.

It’s a lot of work to put that armor on and actively decide to keep it on every single day.

It would be a lot easier to turn my focus to the other things that need to get done in my life. Feed the kids. Work. Have fun.

So why do I choose to put that armor on and keep it on?

Why do I choose to take extra time to increase my faith, work toward salvation, and create a breastplate of righteousness?

Because it’s all more than worth it when the fiery darts of the adversary start to come.

When the tough times all come zooming at me at the same exact time, the time for preparation is gone.

When the health challenges, the huge life decisions, the sorrows, the heartbreaking events, the overwhelming days start piling on…

I’m grateful for the heavy suit of armor I’ve built around myself.

Events that I’ve seen devastate others, feel a lot less painful.

Temptations that seem to pop out of nowhere don’t have the same effect as they used to.

It might all seem a little silly. A bit too much.

Scriptures? Prayer? Church meetings? Family gospel learning? Ministering? Temple service? Tithing?

It can seem so restrictive to an outsider looking in.

But when the fiery darts start to come, as they always always do, boy am I grateful for that excess of spiritual armor.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Restrictive armor first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

This is the moment I learned that some of my colleagues and I had very different classroom management strategies.

There was one middle schooler in particular who was a challenge that year.

I am not kidding when I say that many of my classroom management strategies came straight from the Doctrine and Covenants, and I’m excited to continue to share those as we get to those verses!

Pulling someone aside and talking to them individually is one that has always stuck out to me.

Year after year in the classroom, I found myself being able to connect with even the most difficult kids.

(Not that everything was perfect, but I felt like there was mutual respect and a glimpse of understanding, even despite some of their continued poor choices.)

I came to learn that pulling kids aside and talking to them one-on-one was the best way to maintain that respect!

Calling kids out in front of their peers caused shame, or reinforced that they only got attention when they were exhibiting poor behavior.

I didn’t like either of those options… so I found that creating unique opportunities to talk to that child one-on-one on an even playing field gave me the best chance to actually get my point across to them.

I think about Hiram Page.

He believed that he was receiving revelation for the entire church. I don’t know how this all started, or if he knew at some point that this was not truly of God, but Joseph, as directed by the Lord, gave him the benefit of the doubt.

In D&C 28:11, the Lord directed Oliver to pull Hiram aside for an individual conversation about his behavior.

No shaming, no name-calling, and no unnecessary attention.

Just using discretion, solving the problem with respect, and lots of love.

I’ve seen the same principle carry over as I teach youth in church, and have kids of my own.

I truly believe that most people don’t want to be bad.

If we give them the benefit of the doubt, speak to them privately with an open heart and ready to hear their side of the story as well, that’s when hearts are most mended.

No ganging up, no mob mentality, no ounce of shame.

Just kind, loving, individual correction and connection.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Between him and thee alone first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I try to pay attention to little promptings, and I feel proud about every piece of writing that I post on my account.

I also have received countless messages where people have told me that something I wrote has been an answer to their prayers– some even in specific and dramatic ways.

I don’t say this to make myself sound awesome. In fact, I want to make a point about this–

I am not authorized to receive revelation for any of you.

I have not been set apart with priesthood power, nor have I entered into a priesthood covenant that gives me stewardship over any of you (unless my children or members of my Sunday School class are reading this). 

I AM grateful that Heavenly Father wants to answer your prayers and give many of you comfort, and that He sometimes uses the words that I write or speak in order to answer those prayers.

But I think it is super important to know who we have stewardship over– and who we don’t.

I LOVE that the Lord is so organized when it comes to how revelation happens in this church.

The Lord reminded Joseph and Oliver in Section 28:2 that “no one shall be appointed to receive commandments and revelations in this church excepting my servant Joseph Smith, Jun., for he receiveth them even as Moses.”

So the prophet is the only person who can receive revelation for the entire church!

When I’m deciding whether or not an activity is appropriate for the Sabbath day, I can look to the prophet and other general leaders for their counsel.

And if there isn’t anything specifically about my situation, I can use my best judgment and personal revelation to make my decision.

And then I don’t have to worry AT ALL about what my neighbor chooses to do or not do on the Sabbath… because I don’t have any stewardship over them!

But I can help and guide my children on what we do on Sundays, because I do have stewardship over them.

And then I can be inspired with how to teach my Sunday School class about the Sabbath day in a way that might be an answer to their prayers. I have been set apart with priesthood power to teach them.

I think it is so important to know who we have stewardship over, and to help guide and teach those people.

And it’s equally important to know who we don’t have stewardship over, so that we can love and lift them where they are.

God’s house is a house of order.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Knowing our stewardship first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

In D&C 27:16, the Lord teaches Joseph that the very first step of putting on the armor of God is:

“Stand, therefore, having your loins girt about with truth”.

We need to know the Truth. The essential gospel Truths that have led us to where we are, and will keep us going through the eternities.

But I think that Satan wants us to sometimes forget that we need to also TELL the truth.

Because not telling the truth seems pretty darn tempting sometimes.

Not so much in the “I ate your candy and I’m not going to tell you” kind of way, although sometimes that is a temptation.

But more in the temptation to spin truths or withhold information in a way that keeps the peace.

Like staying quiet even when we feel uncomfortable about a situation.

Saying “great” when someone asks how we are doing.

Or needing so much more help and support, but not saying anything about it.

Being honest and telling the truth in ALL things that we do brings So. Much. Peace.

Asking for what we want.

Telling our spouse when we need more help.

Letting a friend know that we are not okay.

It seems scary.

It seems vulnerable.

But that’s what we really need in order to connect with each other.

To stop pretending like everything is okay, and to live messy, emotion-filled lives with each other, serving everyone we possibly can.

In the Gospel Topics entry on Honesty, we learn:

“When we are honest in every way, we are able to enjoy peace of mind and maintain self-respect.

“We build strength of character, which allows us to be of service to God and others.”

(And as a caveat, I personally don’t believe that “rudeness” under the guise of “honesty” is necessary at all. The truth can always be spoken with love and kindness.)

So how can we open ourselves up to being just a little more honest and truthful with the people around us?

Because bringing peace of mind and peace of the heart is the first step to arming ourselves in the battle against falsehoods from the adversary.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The truth first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But I was still nervous.

It was my first time going into a real elementary school classroom as an assistant while I was earning my teaching degree.

Everyone kept saying that we should just jump in and help but… I still didn’t know what to do.

I spent way too long standing at the back of classrooms afraid that I would mess something up.

Years later, as I stood in front of 35 sixth graders and an assistant walked in to help me, it did not even cross my mind that my helper would “mess everything up”.

The Lord told Joseph, as Joseph was concerned about procuring the proper materials for the sacrament:

“It mattereth not what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink when ye partake of the sacrament,

“if it so be that ye do it with an eye single to my glory—remembering unto the Father my body which was laid down for you, and my blood which was shed for the remission of your sins.” D&C 27:2

In other words, stop worrying about all those details.

Stop worrying about not understanding every aspect of that new calling you just received.

Stop worrying about that new position at work.

Stop worrying about getting all of the parenting techniques right.

And just get your heart in the right place.

That’s what the Lord wants when we take the sacrament, more than anything else.

Are we focused on Him?

Then the details will work themselves out.

Are we focused on serving our neighbors?

Are we focused on our technical strengths and learning quickly?

Are we focused on making sure our kids feel tons of love from us?

Then the details of that calling, that job promotion, and that tough parenting situation will work themselves out.

That doesn’t mean, of course, that we throw the details out of the window. We don’t use candy and soda for the sacrament every week for a good reason.

But when we let go of trying to get every single detail right, and instead focus on turning our hearts and desires to what matters the most…

That’s when our hearts start to change.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Letting go of the details first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.