A lot of people don’t feel welcome at church.

A lot KNOW they are technically welcome, but they don’t FEEL like they belong.

New converts and investigators, sure. Absolutely.

But also, lifelong members.

Maybe it’s you.

Maybe you yearn to be a mother, but you can’t right now.

Maybe you have some major concerns about church history, and no one seems to want to discuss them with you.

Maybe you feel like you are the only mom who works and has to miss out on play dates with other people in your ward.

Maybe you have a differing sexual orientation and you feel out-of-place.

Maybe you feel like you despise Mother’s Day and that you are the only one.

Maybe you feel like you are socially awkward and just can’t connect with other people.

Maybe you feel that you differ politically from most in your congregation.

Maybe your child is struggling with something so heartbreaking, that you feel like you can’t focus on anything else.

Maybe your marriage is being stretched thin.

Maybe you battle a mental illness that you feel like you can’t openly talk about.

I could go on.

So many of us have gone through periods, if we aren’t right now, where we feel lonely and unwelcome.

And I think the difference between welcoming others into the fold of the gospel vs. contributing to their decision to leave, whether temporarily or permanently is:

Love vs. judgment.

“You’ve got a crazy loud kid there!” Vs. “I’m so glad you came to church today. Can I sit by you next week to help you out with your little guy?”

“If you don’t trust Joseph Smith, then you need to figure out if you really trust God” vs. “There are so many things we don’t know, and it can be frustrating. Can you tell me more of your thoughts? I’d love to hear them!”

We are so good at judgment. And I think we need to become a million times better at just loving people.

Asking for their stories.

Not thinking that certain topics are taboo.

Listening, really listening.

We can make church a place that anyone, no matter how long they’ve been a member, will want to return and worship with us again.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Feeling unwelcome first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

To me, it’s the answer to these two questions:

Why are we told to ask and knock, and we will receive, when not all of my questions or requests are actually answered?

And…

How am I supposed to make my prayers more about aligning with God’s will instead of just listing off my thanks and requests?

The Lord teaches pretty succinctly in D&C 46:30:

“He that asketh in the Spirit asketh according to the will of God; wherefore it is done even as he asketh.”

The Lord is teaching specifically about requesting more spiritual gifts, but I think this applies perfectly to any request we have of Him.

The answer is the presence of the Spirit.

When I have the Spirit with me as I pray, I know what to pray for.

I had a very powerful moment in my life where I went to pray for someone’s healing, but I suddenly knew NOT to pray for healing, and to pray for comfort of loved ones instead.

And I had a very powerful moment in my life where I went to pray to accept the outcome, no matter what it was, but I suddenly knew that I SHOULD pray and request healing.

It’s hard to explain.

It’s those quiet whisperings of the Spirit that lead me toward asking the right question, and confirming in my heart that I am knocking on the right door.

But when I’m saying prayers without requesting the presence of the Spirit, or not living worthily to invite His presence, then I end up asking questions that aren’t ready to be answered yet.

It all comes back to the Sacrament for me.

That is such a serious covenant that I renew each week.

I always want His Spirit to be with me.

And so I try to always remember Him and keep His commandments.

My prayers have night-and-day differences when I have the Spirit with me.

And one of the biggest blessings is that I know what to pray for.

My will starts to be swallowed up in the Father’s will.

And the spiritual gifts that I request and seek after are given to me as I work hard to obtain them.

I knock, and it’s opened. Because I have the Spirit with me to let me know I’m at the right door.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Asking in the Spirit first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Oliver Cowdery was called on his mission to the native tribes west of Missouri, and so Joseph needed a new scribe in his absence.

John Whitmer was asked to fill in, and for a few months, he wrote down all of Joseph’s revelations and kept meeting minutes.

John was totally cool with this assignment!

And thank goodness, because John recorded down a large chunk of the sections in the Doctrine and Covenants.

But then… Joseph called John to also take over as the historian of the church.

This was going to be different.

Instead of John just writing down what the prophet dictated to him, John was now being asked to come up with his own words! To observe events and record them down.

John’s response to hearing this calling, and I quote: “I would rather not do it”.

Ever felt like John before?

But here’s what I love about him.

He was honest and said that he would rather not take on this calling. He told Joseph his real feelings.

But then he followed up that statement with saying, and I quote again:

“The will of the Lord be done, and if he desires it, I desire that he would manifest it through Joseph the Seer.”

He put it back on Joseph to take to the Lord. And if the Lord still needed John to take on this new calling, even with this new information that he didn’t want to do it and felt completely inadequate, then he would do it.

Doctrine and Covenants Section 47 was the answer that Joseph received as he took it to the Lord again.

The answer from the Lord in verse 1 says:

“Behold, it is expedient in me that my servant John should write and keep a regular history”.

And then my favorite part from the Lord in verse 4:

“It shall be given him, inasmuch as he is faithful, by the Comforter, to write these things.”

The Comforter, the Spirit, would help John out with writing the history, as long as he had faith. He wouldn’t be left to his own efforts.

John accepted the calling and faithfully recorded the church history, providing us with invaluable insights into church proceedings in those early days.

What is your takeaway from John’s story?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post I would rather not do it first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“I don’t know if I have any of those?”

Elder Bruce R. McConkie said this many years ago, and it’s an idea that I heard taught recently that really resonated with me.

“Spiritual gifts are endless in number and infinite in variety”.

In other words, the approximately 13 gifts listed in Section 46 do not begin to even scratch the surface of actual spiritual gifts.

So… how are we supposed to know what our spiritual gifts are if we don’t even know what all of the options are?

Here is something I’ve noticed.

When I am making a concerted effort to live according to the gospel principles, when I’m showing love, and patience, and kindness, when I’m keeping my covenants and pondering on Christ…

Then I feel like there are certain things that I am really good at.

In other words: When I feel the Spirit in my life, I am more aware of my spiritual gifts.

Gifts that are given to me and enhanced by the Spirit.

So if you are still feeling lost about what spiritual gifts you could possibly possess, here are some questions.

When you are praying and immersing yourself in the scriptures, and you KNOW that you have the Spirit with you, what do you feel like you are really good at doing?

Maybe you are really good at crying when you feel the Spirit.

Maybe you are really good at noticing what your family member needs and wanting to serve them.

Maybe you are really good at sending texts to people who need them.

Maybe you are really good at preparing and teaching a lesson to a primary class.

Maybe you are really good at feeling calm.

Maybe you are really good at being a mediator in disputes or disagreements.

Maybe you are really good at understanding concepts that are really complicated but then explaining them in simple ways.

There are INFINITE possibilities.

When you are really feeling the Spirit, what are you really good at doing? Those are your spiritual gifts.

If you thought of something, I’d love to hear it! What is one of YOUR spiritual gifts?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Infinite gifts! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And I lost.

Obviously, I was disappointed. And pretty jealous of the girl who did win. And a little embarrassed that I ran a campaign that failed.

I knew the girl that I lost to pretty well, and I spent a little bit of time avoiding her.

And then I thought, “I really should just go congratulate her.”

I found her and told her congratulations. She gave me a hug and said she was sad we couldn’t both win. I told her that I knew she would be a great Class President.

I felt so good inside.

I realized that I could be HER cheerleader. Her support. I could raise her up.

Everyone would benefit from this other girl doing a fantastic job.

She had great leadership qualities, and that took literally nothing away from the leadership qualities that I had.

I’ve honestly tried to live my life with that moment in mind ever since.

It’s pretty easy and natural to cheer people on when they are doing something I’m not good at.

I’ll praise people’s cooking and root for them at sporting events without any real jealousy, because I don’t excel in those areas.

But when someone plays a piano piece in sacrament meeting or writes a spiritual thought on social media that goes viral, the natural woman in me tends to want to ignore or wallow in jealousy.

But I’ve found so much freedom and peace from cheering everyone, absolutely everyone, on in whatever good things they are doing.

The Lord teaches in D&C 46:12:

“To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.”

Sometimes it’s easy to see that all of our DIFFERENT gifts are complimentary and bless other people’s lives.

But do we also show gratitude, love, and support for the people who have very similar or identical gifts as we do?

Not to compete, but to build each other up.

I fully believe the world is a better place when we each cheer each other on. When we really truly believe that one person succeeding doesn’t mean that others can’t. Even if one of them wins an election and we don’t.

We’re all still awesome. And we’ve been so blessed.

Let’s use our gifts to help everyone out around us, and let’s cheer other people on when they are using their gifts, too!

That way, we all can be profited thereby.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Jealousy and spiritual gifts first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.