I’m not going to lie, this has always been a struggle for me. 

Sometimes we like to excuse ourselves that if it’s true, then it’s not gossip.

Buuuuut I think we all know a little better than that, deep down.

Plus, let’s be honest, most conversations start with “the truth” and then turn into some judgmental comments or backhanded criticism. ⁣

I have found it is much more uplifting to just make new, fun memories with friends instead!

To share our real current joys and struggles, to bond together, to create strong, positive memories. ⁣

Or as Peter put so wisely put it:

“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile”. (1 Peter 3:10)

(By the way, “guile” means dishonesty, deceit or fraud. In case anyone needed a refresher…)

But can we also reflect for a second about how we speak to ourselves?⁣

What do we say to ourselves first thing in the morning? When we look in the mirror? When we eat a cookie? When we yell? When we put on another TV show?⁣

Are we speaking with evil and guile towards ourselves? ⁣

Peter promises that we can grow to love life and have good days when we get rid of the guile in our conversation, and I think this can totally apply to ourselves.

I LOVE LIFE and have GOOD DAYS when I stop deceitfully thinking that my life is only filled with tough stuff.

I LOVE LIFE and have GOOD DAYS when I stop worrying about what I see in the mirror and instead focus on what my body can do. ⁣

I LOVE LIFE and have GOOD DAYS when I create a positive conversation with myself. I give myself a break. I am kind to myself. I forgive myself. ⁣

When we examine our conversations with other people, it is easy to see how refraining from evil and guile can create happier and more meaningful connections. ⁣

But I think we can improve that happiness even more when we examine our inner conversations and remove the degrading thoughts that the devil would love to derail us with. ⁣

And we can slowly find ways to love life and have more “good days”.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Love life and have good days first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I missed the traditions that I was used to.

I missed the dishes that we always ate.

And I missed the people.

I wasn’t feeling very grateful at all.

As I sat pretty quietly at the dinner table, I tried to have a change of heart.

How could I contribute to the atmosphere even if I didn’t feel very grateful?

What could I do to turn things around?

I realized that I had been thinking a lot about myself.

So instead of feeling self-absorbed and sad, I decided to try and focus on making other people happy.

Gratitude is essential.

But I love it when gratitude leads me to think, “How can I better feed or serve the people around me?”⁣

Peter encouraged us:

“Feed the flock of God which is among you. . . .” (1 Peter 5:2)

Many of us doing that literally today— gathering and feeding loved ones.

What a gift!

But looking at it from a spiritual standpoint is so cool, too!

Gather and nourish the people that you love on a spiritual level.

I don’t think that necessarily means preaching at people.

But sharing love, speaking openly of Jesus, and encouraging.

Focusing outward with gratitude.

I completely transformed how I felt on that Thanksgiving when I started trying to give happiness and joy to other people, even when I didn’t totally feel it myself.

Gratitude can help lead us to nourish others.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Feeding the flock with gratitude first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

In 1918, Joseph F. Smith read this verse and started to ponder:

“By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison”. (1 Peter 3:19)

As President Joseph F. Smith pondered, he received a glorious vision that is now recorded in D&C Section 138. ⁣

I know this is a busy week for everyone, but if you have 15 minutes, I HIGHLY suggest listening to Elder Ballard’s 2018 talk, “The Vision of the Redemption of the Dead”.

Elder Ballard spoke extensively about Pres Smith’s life and circumstances surrounding this vision. It is heartbreaking and inspiring. ⁣

But how can we learn from Pres Joseph F. Smith’s example? ⁣

What was he doing as he read 1 Peter, just as we are this week?⁣

He pondered. ⁣

What does that mean to you?⁣

To me, I’ve realized that pondering requires 3 things:

TIME, PRIORITY, and CONNECTION ⁣

TIME:⁣

Pondering means I have time to let my mind wander as I read the scriptures!⁣

I know, so many of us try to avoid letting our mind wander as we read.

But I find some of my best pondering comes as I actually encourage my mind to wander after reading different verses. ⁣

PRIORITY:

This means the scriptures are important in my mind. ⁣

Even when I’m not reading them, I have thoughts throughout the day that continue to bring me back to what I was reading that morning. ⁣

I try to think about my scripture study often. ⁣

CONNECTION⁣:

I try to make as many personal connections as I can to what I’m reading. ⁣

I think about stories that have happened to me, stories I’ve heard from others, or conference talks that relate to the subject.

Making connections leads me to ponder and receive revelation with new insights I would get from just the text alone. ⁣

Joseph F. Smith pondered on 1 Peter and was blessed with beautiful revelation for the people he had stewardship over, which happened to be the entire church membership. ⁣

When I ponder the scriptures, I can receive direct and personal revelation to the people I have stewardship over, including myself, my family members, and people connected to my church calling. ⁣

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post D&C 138 and 1 Peter first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Like, so powerful.

Here’s what he said:

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

“But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

Peter is very lovingly telling us to stop being so surprised when we have to deal with a big trial.

Stop thinking it is so strange that we have to endure tough stuff.

Stop being shocked that hard times keep coming our way.

What a cool perspective— because how often am I analyzing what “went wrong” to cause a trial in my life?

I have found so much peace when I’ve thought:

“This is exactly how it was supposed to go all along.”

It’s not strange— it is the plan.

And then Peter gives the sacred reminder of WHY we shouldn’t think it is strange when we have these trials:

When we suffer, we are experiencing just a small part of what Christ experienced.

It is Christlike to endure suffering.

But we don’t have to stay in the hard part, just like Jesus didn’t stay there either.

Christ was blessed with great glory for what He suffered.

Which means that we, too, will have a small part of that glory for the trials that we suffer.

This will result in exceeding joy!

Having a trial-free life isn’t the kind of life that disciples of Christ should seek.

We should expect tough times to find us.

To try us and refine us.

We don’t have to love the tough stuff.

But we will always be able to access His joy!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Your trials aren’t strange first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Most of the time, they were just quick questions. Not a big deal.

Sometimes they were super positive and kind! ⁣

Buuuut sometimes they were not very kind.

At all. ⁣

When I first started teaching, I would immediately try to tackle writing a response. ⁣

Even though I’m pretty good at keeping things professional, I was still writing it in an emotional state.

I’d want to refute every point they had made.

I’d want to fully explain every detail of the full story.

When I would read the correspondence a few days later, I would feel a little regret with a few lines that I felt I “needed” to include at the time. ⁣

What I quickly learned was the importance of being

SWIFT TO HEAR,

SLOW TO SPEAK, and

SLOW TO WRATH. ⁣

I’ve tried to become the best listener ever.

I don’t want to assume or butt in with my own thoughts.

I just want to listen.

But the most important element has been as I’ve learned to be SLOW to speak.

There is so much power in a pause.

Even if my first reaction is anger or frustration or disappointment…

I know that I need to WAIT. ⁣

This has applied everywhere in my life, from parenting to social relationships, from church issues to huge trials.

Sometimes the “waiting” is just a few seconds.

A quick breath to remind myself that my toddler is a toddler and isn’t supposed to do everything “right”. ⁣

Sometimes “waiting” is a few days.

A change in a calling, church policy, work situation, or routine.

If I literally just wait a few days, I find the change isn’t as dramatic as I thought.

And other times, the “waiting” takes… a really long time.

There are hard feelings towards another person or situation.

It just takes some waiting, a lot of prayer, and a lot of reflection. ⁣

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”. (James 1:19)

To me, this verse is practical AND spiritual.

It’s brought so much peace to my life as I’ve slowed down and stopped thinking about myself so much, learning to listen and wait.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Slow to speak first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

These people are funny at the right times.

They speak their minds in dramatic and eloquent fashions.

Every conversation is meaningful. ⁣

Misunderstandings only happen if they have a purpose, and they always get joyfully resolved in the end.

But real-life, without a team of paid writers scripting our every word, is messy!

We have complex emotions.

We are awkward.

We think of great “comebacks” in the shower two days later.

We say things that sound good to us but make no sense to others.

We offend people when we don’t mean to.

James points out that only a perfect person would be able to actually control their tongue to the point that no one would ever take offense. ⁣

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” (James 3:5)

Our imperfect language can have big effects.

So how am I trying to use my awkward and unrefined words?

Am I lifting my family members and loved ones?

Am I criticizing and nagging?

Those are the decisions I can control.

“Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, … so desperately needed in the world today.” -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I want to actively choose as much good as I possibly can.

My words can make a huge difference in the lives of the people I love.

So I want the scale to be fully tipped towards positive and uplifting words as much as I can.

I may not have a script writer, but I can partner with God to create and author as much goodness as I am able.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post This isn’t a TV show! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I’m a total nerd and LOVE getting “input” as much as possible. ⁣

Podcasts, books, Conference talks, articles, conversations with others…⁣

I try to fill my life with as much INPUT as I can, because I truly love learning! ⁣

I’m that slightly obnoxious friend that usually says, “Oh, I read something about that, and I learned…”

And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

Learning is so fun.

And a lot of learning has been essential to my growth and development.

BUT⁣

I have to evaluate myself from time to time. ⁣

Is all that INPUT actually making my OUTPUT better? ⁣

“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” (James 1:22)

Especially from a gospel standpoint. ⁣

Are all the Conference talks and scriptures and podcasts that I’m listening to actually impacting how I behave and interact with others?⁣

OR am I just tricking myself into thinking that “learning” how to be more Christlike and compassionate is the same thing as actually BECOMING more Christlike and compassionate? ⁣

I’m not knocking down learning about the gospel.

I literally love it!

Conferences, church lessons, Instagram accounts, books, scriptures…⁣

Absolutely essential and absolutely enriching.

But I can’t fool myself that I have become a better person solely because I have great INPUT. ⁣

“If you want to know anything, you will have to do something.” -Rebecca L. Craven

Did the last Conference talk I listen to actually change how I talk to my family members?

Have the scriptures actually made a difference in how I live? ⁣

Did hearing that person’s story on a podcast make me more compassionate toward someone in my own ward experiencing the same thing?

Do my sources of INPUT lead me to have greater OUTPUT, or am I being deceived into feeling content with only the first half?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Does my output reflect my input? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I learned that last week as I attempted to assemble 100 invitations.

I had all the supplies ready and the deadline was looming—

The invites were printed, I had cut up the bubble wrap into the correct shapes, and my stapler was totally loaded with new staples.

And then I tried the first one.

And my stapler jammed.

As a former teacher, I unjammed that stapler like it was nothing, and tried again.

Jammed.

I didn’t believe it, and tried an embarrassingly large amount of times before I realized the stapler wasn’t going work.

How I was going to attach the bubble wrap to the invites?!

That was probably one of the silliest prayers I’ve ever offered as I sent my plea heavenward.

But it also really mattered to me.

I needed to solve the problem quickly.

What about rolled up scotch tape?

I found a roll that was almost out in the bottom of a drawer and tried it out.

It worked great, it held the bubble wrap, and you could hardly notice it. Score!

I got to work rolling and taping and sticking, sure that this roll of tape was going to run out at some point during the 100 invites.

But it never ran out.

I completed everything on time.

One of the most freeing things I’ve learned is that my Heavenly Father cares about all the little details of my life. ⁣

I don’t ONLY need to talk to my Father in prayer about “spiritual” matters or deep life questions.

⁣”If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5)

I love the empowerment that comes from knowing that I can ask for help any time I lack wisdom in any aspect of my life. ⁣

And I love those little moments where I know God is looking out for me in something that might seem so silly, but that really matters to me.

It’s about asking.

Joseph Smith asked a question and it changed the world.

I asked a question and I was able to attach bubble wrap to a piece of paper for an important invite.

And God cares about it all.

All we need to do is ask.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post God answers all prayers first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Like, I’m an eternal optimist, which is a huge strength of mine.

But it took me an awfully long time to realize that most people telling me about their struggles just really want to connect and share.

… And they aren’t looking for me to immediately point out all the good things about their situation if only they looked at it differently!

But even with this blessing/curse of eternal optimism, I have learned…⁣

Sometimes, things are just HARD.

Life can be difficult and painful.

Our own beloved Savior had to endure being nailed to a cross.

Multiple times.

After being physically tortured. ⁣

There was no “bright side” to that.

That is truly one of the most terrible things anyone has had to endure. ⁣

I don’t want to directly compare what we have to go through with the truly torturous experience our loving Savior had, but I do think we can learn from His example. ⁣

“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Many of us are asked to “endure crosses” in this mortal life. ⁣

There is no upside.

You aren’t “just not being positive enough”.

There are some truly terrible, scary, unexplainable things that we have to endure. ⁣

How do we possibly make it through? How can we endure? ⁣

How did Christ endure the cross?⁣

He knew the joy that was set before Him.

He didn’t feel that joy in the moment. But He KNEW it would be there waiting for Him on the other side. ⁣

We are not meant to feel joy in every part of our lives. Sometimes, things are just terrible. ⁣

Or even on a smaller scale, sometimes we are just having a bad day. And that’s our “cross to endure” for the time being. ⁣

When we don’t feel that joy now, we can look to our Savior as the example that the JOY WILL RETURN.

We can’t see it now. We can’t even imagine feeling it again. ⁣

But we have faith. We know that if we can just endure, we will feel that joy again.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Endure the cross  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I love Hebrews chapter 11 because Paul lists what many righteous people have done “by faith.”

Abel. Enoch. Sarah. Abraham. Moses. Rahab.

And so many more!

One that he mentions is Noah:

“By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith.” (Hebrews 11:7)

Like… huge miracles.

Amazing stories.

Quiet but essential moves.

All made because of an individual’s faith in Jesus Christ.

So… what would your personal verse be in Hebrews 11?

What big thing have you needed to do in your life “by faith”?

What small things have you needed to do “by faith”?

When we build our faith in Jesus Christ day by day with small intentional actions, we lay the foundation for our own “faith story”.

We’ll each have different details and different paths, just like all of these scripture characters in Hebrews 11.

But we can unite in our mutual faith in Jesus Christ to watch the amazing miracles that He performs because we choose to believe.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post What’s your faith story?  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.