Most of the time, they were just quick questions. Not a big deal.

Sometimes they were super positive and kind! ⁣

Buuuut sometimes they were not very kind.

At all. ⁣

When I first started teaching, I would immediately try to tackle writing a response. ⁣

Even though I’m pretty good at keeping things professional, I was still writing it in an emotional state.

I’d want to refute every point they had made.

I’d want to fully explain every detail of the full story.

When I would read the correspondence a few days later, I would feel a little regret with a few lines that I felt I “needed” to include at the time. ⁣

What I quickly learned was the importance of being

SWIFT TO HEAR,

SLOW TO SPEAK, and

SLOW TO WRATH. ⁣

I’ve tried to become the best listener ever.

I don’t want to assume or butt in with my own thoughts.

I just want to listen.

But the most important element has been as I’ve learned to be SLOW to speak.

There is so much power in a pause.

Even if my first reaction is anger or frustration or disappointment…

I know that I need to WAIT. ⁣

This has applied everywhere in my life, from parenting to social relationships, from church issues to huge trials.

Sometimes the “waiting” is just a few seconds.

A quick breath to remind myself that my toddler is a toddler and isn’t supposed to do everything “right”. ⁣

Sometimes “waiting” is a few days.

A change in a calling, church policy, work situation, or routine.

If I literally just wait a few days, I find the change isn’t as dramatic as I thought.

And other times, the “waiting” takes… a really long time.

There are hard feelings towards another person or situation.

It just takes some waiting, a lot of prayer, and a lot of reflection. ⁣

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath”. (James 1:19)

To me, this verse is practical AND spiritual.

It’s brought so much peace to my life as I’ve slowed down and stopped thinking about myself so much, learning to listen and wait.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Slow to speak first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

These people are funny at the right times.

They speak their minds in dramatic and eloquent fashions.

Every conversation is meaningful. ⁣

Misunderstandings only happen if they have a purpose, and they always get joyfully resolved in the end.

But real-life, without a team of paid writers scripting our every word, is messy!

We have complex emotions.

We are awkward.

We think of great “comebacks” in the shower two days later.

We say things that sound good to us but make no sense to others.

We offend people when we don’t mean to.

James points out that only a perfect person would be able to actually control their tongue to the point that no one would ever take offense. ⁣

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” (James 3:5)

Our imperfect language can have big effects.

So how am I trying to use my awkward and unrefined words?

Am I lifting my family members and loved ones?

Am I criticizing and nagging?

Those are the decisions I can control.

“Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, … so desperately needed in the world today.” -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I want to actively choose as much good as I possibly can.

My words can make a huge difference in the lives of the people I love.

So I want the scale to be fully tipped towards positive and uplifting words as much as I can.

I may not have a script writer, but I can partner with God to create and author as much goodness as I am able.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post This isn’t a TV show! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I’m a total nerd and LOVE getting “input” as much as possible. ⁣

Podcasts, books, Conference talks, articles, conversations with others…⁣

I try to fill my life with as much INPUT as I can, because I truly love learning! ⁣

I’m that slightly obnoxious friend that usually says, “Oh, I read something about that, and I learned…”

And I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.

Learning is so fun.

And a lot of learning has been essential to my growth and development.

BUT⁣

I have to evaluate myself from time to time. ⁣

Is all that INPUT actually making my OUTPUT better? ⁣

“But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” (James 1:22)

Especially from a gospel standpoint. ⁣

Are all the Conference talks and scriptures and podcasts that I’m listening to actually impacting how I behave and interact with others?⁣

OR am I just tricking myself into thinking that “learning” how to be more Christlike and compassionate is the same thing as actually BECOMING more Christlike and compassionate? ⁣

I’m not knocking down learning about the gospel.

I literally love it!

Conferences, church lessons, Instagram accounts, books, scriptures…⁣

Absolutely essential and absolutely enriching.

But I can’t fool myself that I have become a better person solely because I have great INPUT. ⁣

“If you want to know anything, you will have to do something.” -Rebecca L. Craven

Did the last Conference talk I listen to actually change how I talk to my family members?

Have the scriptures actually made a difference in how I live? ⁣

Did hearing that person’s story on a podcast make me more compassionate toward someone in my own ward experiencing the same thing?

Do my sources of INPUT lead me to have greater OUTPUT, or am I being deceived into feeling content with only the first half?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Does my output reflect my input? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I learned that last week as I attempted to assemble 100 invitations.

I had all the supplies ready and the deadline was looming—

The invites were printed, I had cut up the bubble wrap into the correct shapes, and my stapler was totally loaded with new staples.

And then I tried the first one.

And my stapler jammed.

As a former teacher, I unjammed that stapler like it was nothing, and tried again.

Jammed.

I didn’t believe it, and tried an embarrassingly large amount of times before I realized the stapler wasn’t going work.

How I was going to attach the bubble wrap to the invites?!

That was probably one of the silliest prayers I’ve ever offered as I sent my plea heavenward.

But it also really mattered to me.

I needed to solve the problem quickly.

What about rolled up scotch tape?

I found a roll that was almost out in the bottom of a drawer and tried it out.

It worked great, it held the bubble wrap, and you could hardly notice it. Score!

I got to work rolling and taping and sticking, sure that this roll of tape was going to run out at some point during the 100 invites.

But it never ran out.

I completed everything on time.

One of the most freeing things I’ve learned is that my Heavenly Father cares about all the little details of my life. ⁣

I don’t ONLY need to talk to my Father in prayer about “spiritual” matters or deep life questions.

⁣”If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5)

I love the empowerment that comes from knowing that I can ask for help any time I lack wisdom in any aspect of my life. ⁣

And I love those little moments where I know God is looking out for me in something that might seem so silly, but that really matters to me.

It’s about asking.

Joseph Smith asked a question and it changed the world.

I asked a question and I was able to attach bubble wrap to a piece of paper for an important invite.

And God cares about it all.

All we need to do is ask.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post God answers all prayers first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.