Ever felt that way before?

I have.

I have followed through on a prompting, just to have to deal with a lot of emotional pain from all the fallout.

I’ve decided to keep sticking to church standards and lost a friend because of it.

I’ve reached out and offered service, only to have a super awkward result that left me feeling frustrated.

Can’t you just hear the emotion in Moses’ voice here?

He had been asked BY THE LORD to go talk to the pharaoh and request that he let the Israelites go.

The Israelites were looking up to Moses as the prophet who would free them from captivity!

And how did the pharaoh respond?

He increased the burdens on the Israelites to the point where they couldn’t even bear them anymore.

And so Moses went to the Lord in frustration.

He did what he was supposed to do, and things got worse for everyone.

“Why is it that thou hast sent me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in thy name, he hath done evil to this people; neither hast thou delivered thy people at all.” (Exodus 5:22-23)

The Lord didn’t deliver on His promise.

Or so it seemed.

Doesn’t obedience = blessings?!

It’s like that cartoon online I’ve seen tons of times—

We think that obedience to God’s commandments, revelation, and inspiration is going to lead us in a steady, straight, upward climb.

… when obedience often looks like a path filled with lots of mountains, valleys, and steep drop offs.

I’ve learned that it takes a lot of faith to believe that following promptings and keeping commandments will always work out in the long run.

Because no matter the short-term difficulties and obstacles

The Lord knows what we need to fulfill His plan. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post This was not the plan first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I stayed up late, I had extra babysitters come during the day, and I hit my deadline.

I love writing and creating, so I truly enjoy these last minute work times, which probably reinforces my habit of procrastinating, but oh well.

Everything was on schedule to be published at the perfect time.

The rest of the process was out of my control.

I pressed “submit” and waited.

And waited some more.

Days went by.

And suddenly, I was having to wait longer than I have ever waited before for my work to be approved.

And then it was twice as long as I’ve ever had to wait.

And then three times as long.

I had a great real-life practice of my mantra about not worrying about things outside my control. But boy was that a tough wait.

I was to the point where I almost expected it would never get approved and published for some reason.

And then!

I opened the email. It was approved! Published! Good to go!

My immediate first thought was pure gratitude.

I bowed my head and said a quick but super sincere prayer of overwhelming gratitude.

So so grateful and so so blessed. God is good.

And immediately after this gratitude, it hit me.

I’ve never been grateful for publishing services before.

I’ve never given a second thought to having my work “approved” and “published”.

But having to wait for such a long time allowed my heart to feel such gratitude and dependence on the Lord.

The Israelites had suffered for a long time.

And so when they saw Moses and Aaron’s signs and heard their testimony that they had been sent from God to free them,

“The people believed: and when they heard that the Lord had visited the children of Israel, and that he had looked upon their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped.” (Exodus 4:31)

When I have to wait for a blessing for a long time, my gratitude increases exponentially.

Maybe that’s why the Lord likes to let us wait sometimes. He knows that our hearts need the training.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Waiting on a deadline first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

A holy place, to me, is a place where I feel closer to God.

It is different than the ordinary. It is special.

Unique.

And when I think of holy places, there usually is something different that I do with my outward appearance in order to reflect the holiness that I feel.

One of my favorite parts of learning about Moses seeing the burning bush is one of the first things that the Lord says to him:

“And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.” (Exodus 3:5)

Moses was asked to make a change, a symbolic change, to reflect how his heart felt about entering a holy place.

My church building is a holy place to me, a place where I partake of the sacrament and renew powerful covenants.

And so I dress a little nicer than I do the rest of the week.

When I attend the temple, I also dress nicer as I enter, and I prepare for more opportunities to make my outward appearance reflect the uniqueness of the temple spirit.

I know that God is with me in the casual moments, in the messy house and the undone hair and the random sprinkles of shredded cheese that somehow always make it on the floor. (Anyone else?!)

But I also love being able to take opportunities to show God that I am willing to make an effort to show my gratitude for the holy grounds that I am able to walk on.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Holy places first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

⁣⁣I was of absolutely no use that day, since I had recently found out I was pregnant with our first, and I was beyond sick.

⁣⁣But my husband was doing great!

⁣⁣My heart sank as I looked at our completely empty apartment, though. ⁣⁣

Because even though our stuff was all gone, there was so much CLEANING that still had to happen before we handed the keys back to management the next day.

⁣⁣And my husband’s grad school schedule meant the cleaning would all fall to me. ⁣⁣

Even though I was so sick and so tired.

⁣⁣I remember my husband suggesting we just give the apartment back as it was, willingly forfeiting our deposit.

⁣⁣But it was a huge deposit, and I wanted to get that money back. ⁣⁣

I prayed that night that I would feel well enough to clean. ⁣⁣

That next morning, I woke up to a text from a lady in our ward that we were leaving:

⁣⁣“Hey Cali! I heard you are feeling really sick! (Congrats!) My family wants to come clean your apartment today so that you don’t have to. We’ll bring all our own cleaning supplies and make sure it’s super clean. You just rest and relax today!”

⁣⁣I never set foot in that apartment again, and we eventually got our full deposit back.

⁣⁣I’ve thought a lot about this lady’s ridiculously kind offer, her teenage kids that probably weren’t super happy to learn about their family activity that evening, and her charitable heart that acted immediately after hearing a need.

⁣⁣I also have thought about how the Lord COULD have given me strength to clean my apartment. He could have caused my sickness to subside. ⁣⁣

But instead he gave this family a chance to serve and to act.

⁣⁣“We will surely be blessed with opportunities to be instruments in His hands”. -Elder Ulisses Soares ⁣⁣

It’s a blessing to be able to do what the Lord would do. ⁣⁣

He could make it all happen on His own, without any of us helping.

⁣⁣But He generously gives us the blessing of being able to act in His behalf. 

⁣⁣Moses got this blessing, too. ⁣⁣

There were many ways the Israelites could have been freed. ⁣Yet the Lord was loving and kind enough to let Moses lead the way.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Cleaning the apartment first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I mean, they kept growing and multiplying, and who knew what would happen next?!

And so what did this king do?

“He said unto his people, Behold, the people of the children of Israel are more and mightier than we: Come on, let us deal wisely with them… Therefore they did set over them taskmasters to afflict them with their burdens.” (Exodus 1:9-11)

The pharaoh was literally so afraid about the hypothetical military power this group of people could have in the future, that he did everything he could do to keep them oppressed.

Do you know what I can’t help but think about here?

“Unity requires effort. It develops when we cultivate the love of God in our hearts and we focus on our eternal destiny.” – Elder Dale G. Renlund

One of the biggest messages our modern church leaders have been teaching over and over again is:

UNITY

We can have cultural and social differences and still find unity when we realize that we are all identified as children of God, first!

Can you even imagine if the new king said:

“Hey Israelites! You keep growing and growing, and we love you guys. What can we do to help you feel more included? Do you have any new ideas for how to make our kingdom even better?”

And yet, this king chose division and labeling people as “others”.

Which then led to him inflicting pain and burdens.

So how can you create unity where you live right now?

Who are you tempted to think about in divisive ways, and how can you turn that into love and unity instead?

Kicking other people out or purposefully increasing their burdens just to keep another group comfortable isn’t the way the Savior worked, and it’s not how He wants us to work, either.

Unity looks like hard work. It takes effort. It requires people to get uncomfortable.

And the end result is so much more love, peace, and Christlike charity.

Unity is worth the effort.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Unity is worth the effort  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Everyone is called to be a ministering brother or sister, and then many are extended additional callings, ranging in time commitment and responsibility.

Callings can get a bad rap.

But every time we’ve moved to a new ward, I’ve eagerly volunteered, “Give me a calling as soon as you can!”

Because I love having something to do.

I love having a job, having responsibility, feeling ownership, feeling a sense of belonging, serving in some way.

This desire is what I immediately thought of when I read the beautiful patriarchal blessings that Father Israel gave to Joseph’s sons, Ephraim and Manasseh.

He gave them blessings.

He taught them about their lineage.

He testified about God and His promises.

And then he tells Ephraim and Manasseh about their special calling:

“For thou shalt be a light unto my people, to deliver them in the days of their captivity, from bondage; and to bring salvation unto them, when they are altogether bowed down under sin.” (Genesis 48:11 JST)

These two men, and thus their posterity, were given some specific callings and assignments:

• to be a light to other people
• to deliver others from the captivity of sin
• to teach others about salvation

Extra responsibility.

Not just to be a burden for these two tribes of Israel.

But to give them something worthwhile to do.

To feel belonging and confidence before the Lord.

To grow in service and in love with all humankind.

It’s the calling given to those members of these tribes.

The calling has been extended, and it just needs to be accepted and fulfilled to the best of anyone’s ability.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Ephraim and Manasseh’s blessing first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I asked her how she’s doing and she said, “You know those weeks where everything just seems to be going wrong?!”

And I said “Yup, yup I do.”

Between the two of us, we had a broken A/C, broken water heater, weeds galore, car damage, pregnancy pains, broken garbage disposal, crazy work schedules and hectic personal schedules.

And all of it had happened within the last week.

Isn’t that how life is?

All at once or nothing at all.

I’m sure Father Jacob felt this “all at once” emotional pain overcome him when he saw his sons return from their first trip to Egypt.

Joseph had been gone for years, but I’m sure the pain was still fresh. Simeon was now imprisoned in Egypt. And they wanted to take Benjamin with them when they returned?! He would surely be taken from him, too!

It’s no wonder that he cried out, just like many of us have:

“All these things are against me.” (Genesis 42:36)

Sometimes, it sure seems like this is the case.

You can’t catch a break, the struggles keep piling up, and you can’t seem to find a tender mercy anywhere.

Why is everything against me?!

Guess what we get reminded of in Psalm 56:9?

“God is for me.”

THINGS may be against us. Air conditionings and garbage disposals may be out to make our lives miserable.

Or just the natural circumstances of living as a human in a fallen world make life rough.

But GOD will always be FOR US.

Do I believe that?

Do I really believe that?

Honestly, I do. And it’s gotten me through plenty of rough weeks.

It’s kept me focused on gratitude. It’s kept me grounded in prayer. It’s kept me KNOWING that things will work out, even if it doesn’t look like it in the moment, and even if “work out” looks differently than I hope.

Everything might be against me.

But God is for me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Everything is against me! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

She knew that Kyle and I had been talking about getting engaged, and so she wanted to give me one piece of advice before we made that decision:

“Make sure you see Kyle get super stressed or angry about something, see how he responds to that pressure, and then make sure you are okay with his response.”

It was great advice, because admittedly, we had been kind of living a fairytale dating experience.

Yeah, we had seen each other deal with the minor stresses that came from college classes or everyday work situations, but we hadn’t seen how each of us responded to really big pressures yet.

But finally, the opportunity presented itself.

(Kyle— I’m so sorry if I unknowingly wished the big trial into existence for my own selfish purposes.  Haha!)

I saw how Kyle dealt with a huge, frustrating setback, one that took a hit on his ego.

And… I was totally cool with how he responded.

I saw how he worked through problems, how he handled big emotions, and how I could support him through tough times.

It was a great little confirmation that he would make a great choice for me as a spouse.

And I’m still happy with my decision all these years later, thank goodness! <3

When we read about Joseph’s reaction to seeing all of his brothers again after all these years, it can be difficult to figure out why he does what he does:

He accuses them of being spies, imprisons one brother, frames another, makes dramatic demands, and doesn’t want to give away who he truly is.

But to me, it looks like Joseph is just trying to see who his brothers really are after all these years.

Did they care at all about what they had done to Joseph? Had they repented? Did they love Benjamin? How were they treating his father?

A great way to find out who someone truly is, is to see how they respond to stress or pressure.

(For the record, I’m NOT advocating you go and create difficult times for everyone in your life in order to determine where their hearts are!)

But… isn’t that what God basically does to us?

He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains so that we can prove to Him, and to ourselves, what truly matters most to our hearts.

Who do we choose, even when times are tough?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  Pressure on our hearts first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Because the adversary wants us to believe that if we forgive someone, we have said that what they did was okay, and that we are releasing them from all their consequences.

But that is just not true.

Long after Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave, they were almost shocked to discover that Joseph had forgiven them.

Even YEARS later, after their father Jacob died, the brothers were afraid that Joseph had just been putting on an act for their dad.

And that now he would retaliate.

Because who would actually forgive their brothers for doing something like they had done?

But Joseph dismissed their groveling after their father had died and said:

“Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.”

Can you imagine forgiving family members for saying terrible things about you, physically harming you, devaluing you, and literally removing you from the family for 22 years?

And yet, Joseph forgave.

That didn’t change how wrong the brothers had been.

And it didn’t affect any divine consequences that our perfect Judge would dole out.

But it gave Joseph joy and peace.

We don’t know how much Joseph interacted with his brothers after they all moved to Egypt.

Maybe Joseph had strong boundaries with certain brothers, and kept a respectful distance.

Maybe Joseph felt prompted to fully embrace them and let them into his life.

But his words at the end of Genesis tell us that he was ready to comfort and nourish them as needed.

The adversary is so good at feeding us lies about forgiving those who have wronged us, even in very serious degrees.

But the Savior commands us all to forgive.

Why? To find that internal peace, and truly turn it all over to God!

Have you seen blessings from forgiveness in your life? If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear them <3

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Forgiveness heals us first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But I’ve also got even more things to be grateful and joyful about!

I see this dichotomy going on inside myself:

So grateful for this chance to bring a third baby into the world when so many who long for this never get the opportunity.

Excited to have a little girl join our family who I know will add more dimension and joy.

Happy that my body has been able to stay fairly healthy thus far and that I’m still able to handle the bare necessities of my other responsibilities.

And then contrast all those feelings with…

Utter exhaustion. Having a shorter amount of patience with my two kids. Frustration that I’m not able to do everything I want to do. Pain. So much physical pain right now. Panic that I have so much to do before she comes. Fear that I’m not going to be able to handle three kids once she does come.

Just the other day, I sat down, exhausted, with my kids climbing all over me. One was asking for snacks, the other was crying for some reason I couldn’t figure out, they both ended up fighting over a toy, and then someone stubbed their toe and became inconsolable.

“Why?!” I pleaded in my mind, not specifically aimed at God, but I guess aimed at God.

“Why can’t you just give me a break? I need it so desperately! You know that!”

I had a cool answer come to my mind that made me laugh and not take the situation so seriously— it was EXACTLY what I needed to reframe my situation.

But I don’t think I’m alone in these two general feelings.

Sometimes, I’m like Joseph of Egypt, who could clearly see his trials for what they were:

“God meant it unto good”. (Genesis 50:20)

And other days, I’m more like Joseph’s brothers who blamed God for every poor circumstance they found themselves in:

“What is this that God hath done unto us?” (Genesis 42:28)

I think I’m going to give myself grace for the days that I feel like Joseph’s brothers.

I’m gonna pray a lot more, because boy, does God like to answer prayers in exactly the way I need them answered.

And I hope I can get better at sticking with Joseph of Egypt’s humble mindset.

It’s all for my good!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post All for my good first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.