I attended a BYU Same Sex Attraction meeting while I was a student there.

(I believe the BYU SSA club has since changed its name.)

It was for an assignment in my multicultural education class.

The assignment? Go somewhere that put you in the minority and made you uncomfortable.

Some of my friends attended a Catholic mass, but I felt pulled to go to this club meeting for students experiencing same sex attraction while at BYU.

And boy, was I uncomfortable when I first walked in that room. I felt like I was somewhere that I didn’t belong.

But I knew that was the purpose of the assignment. I was supposed to feel out of place.

And then the meeting started. And the Spirit of God filled that room.

And I do not say that lightly.

The people in the room emanated true Christlike love.

They shared openly, honestly, and courageously about the things they had been struggling with.

They talked about their wrestles with the Lord. They talked about their wins and successes. They talked about temptations and deep, serious trials. They cried. They laughed.

And I cried and laughed along with them.

My heart was filled with pure, powerful, Christlike love for every person in that room.

I felt guilty that I had ever felt uncomfortable, but it gave me just a minuscule glimpse at what these children of God had been experiencing every single day for years.

I didn’t know how much my heart needed to be in that meeting.

That was me, unknowingly at the time and under the guise of a school assignment, doing just a small portion of the real work it takes to be a true Christian.

I went in very uncomfortable.

And I left as a friend who continued to be an ally and an advocate.

It’s been a while though since I sat in that meeting, and I think I need to be uncomfortable more often. I need to grow in my love and service, which means getting out of my stagnant comfort zone.

And this is why Elder Holland’s talk stuck with me.

I need to stop putting the ultimate prize on being comfortable, and start focusing on being uncomfortable in order to become more Christlike.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

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5 Responses

  1. LOVE this message. Thank you for sharing! I too, loved his talk and the reminder that to be more Christlike, we might need to be uncomfortable ????. Here’s to being uncomfortable and the blessings and growth that will come from it.

  2. So touched by your message! Your story really touched my heart. Elder Holland’s talk strongly resonated with me also and I listened to it twice. I look forward to studying it and reading often. Thank you for your insights!

  3. Thank you for this beautiful message. I too have felt of the amazing spirits of those who call themselves members of the LGBTQ+ community. We truly do not have the capacity, right or ability to judge others as we have never walked a mile in their shoes. Being comfortable with uncertainty is a worthy goal for each of us as we strive to become less judgmental, more loving, and as we prepare to meet our Savior when He comes again.

  4. I too appreciated Elder Holland’s talk. The statement that “Christianity is comforting, but it is often not comfortable” perfectly sums up my life for the past 3 years. When my son returned from his mission and told us that he experiences same gender attraction, my comfort zone was completely shattered, probably never to return. But being in that place of discomfort has allowed me to have a very profound personal walk with Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ. It allowed me, and continues to allow me, to have a painful evaluation of myself, and see places where I need to be more like the Savior. I have been able to step back and really see Christianity in a new perspective, and rely on my Savior for comfort, and direction. He truly is the only source of peace, it is in him that I find my comfort. My son is one of the most Christlike people I know, and I think that is because of his complete reliance on the Savior, when he has felt so lost and alone. That is why Christianity is comforting, because Christ loves us and understands us like no one else does. He has felt what it is like to be my son, Christ’s Atonement is infinite. That is why He is able to give us the succor that we most desperately need, and can find nowhere else but through Him.

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