I am in a choir (shoutout to @millennial_choir!) and in December, our choir and orchestra put on 6 Christmas concerts spread over a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, with two 2-hour concerts each night.

Performing in this choir concert requires a lot of standing still, crowded by people all around you, lots of hot bright lights shining on you, major breath support, and not a lot of eating or bathroom breaks.

I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

I knew it was going to be rough.

I did my best to prepare for Thursday night, but I was honestly pretty miserable. I left to drive home at 10:30 pm, just grateful that I had survived and determined to last two more nights.

On Friday, I drove to the concert with a friend in the choir. She talked about how cool Thursday’s performances were. How she felt the spirit so strongly. How she felt the joy of singing in a high quality choir with orchestra.

I nodded and said, “yeah!”, but in my head I thought, “Yeah, I’m just in survival mode right now. I think my ‘joy’ will come from not passing out!”

Our director gathered us together for warmups and some final run-throughs before the first concert started.

Then, our director said, in the kindest way: “Stop being miserable. This is hard for everyone. My shoulder is killing me from conducting. Everyone’s feet and backs hurt. Some of you are in deep emotional pain.

“Stop thinking you have it worse than everyone else.

“And start focusing on why you are here. Invite the spirit to be with you. Share your joy with the audience. Share your testimonies of the Savior. Don’t throw away this experience just because you are in pain.”

Woah. Talk about a message meant straight for me.

Joy.

It is not the absence of pain. It is not the absence of sorrow.

It is focusing on the Savior, even when enduring hard things.

I learned through those concerts that I can be in pain and be miserable OR I can be in pain and still feel pure joy.

I felt the spirit. I shared the spirit. I sang the best that I could and felt the power of singing with choir and orchestra. And in our final song, “Joy to the World”, I felt JOY.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

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2 Responses

  1. I agree. I have had some very dark and painful times in my life. Some of them lasted for years. However, when we focus on and appreciate little joys, it gives such a great relief. Flowers that brighten your walk, a hug from a child, a recital in which your child did the best they have ever done. These things being such joy even in the midst of anguish. The key is to recognize who has given us these things and give thanks for each one.

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