Let’s have some real talk.

A lot of people don’t feel welcome at church.

A lot KNOW they are technically welcome, but they don’t FEEL like they belong.

New converts and investigators, sure. Absolutely.

But also, lifelong members.

Maybe it’s you.

Maybe you yearn to be a mother, but you can’t right now.

Maybe you have some major concerns about church history, and no one seems to want to discuss them with you.

Maybe you feel like you are the only mom who works and has to miss out on play dates with other people in your ward.

Maybe you have a differing sexual orientation and you feel out-of-place.

Maybe you feel like you despise Mother’s Day and that you are the only one.

Maybe you feel like you are socially awkward and just can’t connect with other people.

Maybe you feel that you differ politically from most in your congregation.

Maybe your child is struggling with something so heartbreaking, that you feel like you can’t focus on anything else.

Maybe your marriage is being stretched thin.

Maybe you battle a mental illness that you feel like you can’t openly talk about.

I could go on.

So many of us have gone through periods, if we aren’t right now, where we feel lonely and unwelcome.

And I think the difference between welcoming others into the fold of the gospel vs. contributing to their decision to leave, whether temporarily or permanently is:

Love vs. judgment.

“You’ve got a crazy loud kid there!” Vs. “I’m so glad you came to church today. Can I sit by you next week to help you out with your little guy?”

“If you don’t trust Joseph Smith, then you need to figure out if you really trust God” vs. “There are so many things we don’t know, and it can be frustrating. Can you tell me more of your thoughts? I’d love to hear them!”

We are so good at judgment. And I think we need to become a million times better at just loving people.

Asking for their stories.

Not thinking that certain topics are taboo.

Listening, really listening.

We can make church a place that anyone, no matter how long they’ve been a member, will want to return and worship with us again.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

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8 Responses

  1. We had a talk about this in church today & you put this reminder so well in your study!

    1. I love it when I’m on the same wavelength as others. It’s definitely a topic we can keep learning and growing with as we progress in the gospel.

  2. I have a time in my walk that says. “I did not ask you to judge them. I only ask you to love them.”
    A reminder I need every time I walk out the door. This was a great reminder. Thank you!!

  3. I really enjoy your Study Snippets, Cali. We are all so very human. Christlike love overcomes each of these.

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