“Cali, you are just so good at everything you do!”
I played a musical number on the piano in church last week, and someone came up to me and said that.
In the same moment I both laughed and cringed.
I realized that I just happened to have recently shown off a few of my strengths at church by playing the piano, speaking, and teaching.
I thanked my friend for the compliment, but reassured her that I was plenty bad at plenty of things.
You will never see me publish a cookbook. Or if I do, please, please, don’t buy it.
But I also cringed because I suddenly realized that she was feeling about me the same way that I have felt about other people!
“They have it all together!” “They have so many talents!” “Their life is so easy!” “They take so many amazing vacations!”
I’ve been there.
And I think most of us have been there, too. Jealousy is an emotion that happens in this fallen world a whole lot.
The Lord taught some of the saints, who were arguing about who could write the most eloquently, in D&C 67:10 to:
“Strip yourselves from jealousies and fears”.
But how do we do that?
How do we get rid of the jealousy that creeps up everytime we see someone who has things better than we do?
Who has more talents or more friends or a stronger testimony or better behaved kids than we do?
I learned one solution a few years ago that has totally transformed my attitude:
I become their cheerleader.
You are going on an amazing vacation? Awesome! I want to hear all about it and see all your pictures, and I want to feel genuine joy that you got to have that experience.
You are experiencing a success that I wished I had? I take that little ping of jealousy that creeps up and I turn it into thinking about how happy you must feel. How proud you must be to accomplish that goal.
You are moving into THAT new house? In THIS market?! AWESOME! Way to go! That will be so cool for your family, and I hope it turns into your forever home that you love.
Its pretty powerful.
It puts things in perspective to shift from a competition where I’m winning some races and losing others…
To instead think about how we all have our own race to run.
It doesn’t help to compare the races, whether that makes me feel better or worse about myself.
Instead, I just want to cheer everyone on with any little progress they make on their pathway home.
To strip myself of all jealousies and just love, encourage, and cheer my brothers and sisters on.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
6 Responses
I like that, Cali. Let me give it a try. Thank you for sharing your idea.
Good luck!
I love how you can be happy for them & cheer them on. Asking to see pictures when they get back, includes you to some extent. You get to feel their excitement as they tell you about the trip & show their photos.
Maybe you could decide if that is somewhere you’d like to go sometime or not.
We all need to be happy for others. For some, this may be their only chance & only opportunity.
Don’t make it a competition, because someone will end up with hurt feelings.
Just like someone finally getting to go through the Temple. I am always over joyed they have gotten to that point in their life. Support them, go with if they would like you to come. Etc. etc.
We can all learn & experience wonderful things through the eyes of others.
Thanks for all your encouraging messages. I love to read them & learn more & more.
Carole ????
Yes! I love the examples you shared. Keeping the competition out of it is so important. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Cali! This is definitely difficult (a great tool that Satan uses) and I really appreciate your insight as to how to combat him and these feelings.
Thank you! <3