One concern I’ve heard from many people at church is:
No one likes feeling like a project.
We all want to matter to other people in real ways.
Which makes fake friendships or very obviously being a “project” especially harmful.
Maybe your mind is starting to feel frustration or resentment for moments when you’ve lacked authentic connection and friendship.
But let’s look forward with a “Lord, is it I?” mindset.
Do we sometimes treat others just like an assignment?
Do we forget that each person we interact with is an extremely valuable Child of God that He loves more than we can comprehend?
Do we avoid the vulnerability of “real” for the comfort of “safe”?
Jesus Christ, of course, taught the perfect example of this.
First, he instructed the Nephites that if someone isn’t worthy, they should not be partaking of the sacrament anymore.
(A command that always seemed harsh to me until I realized that “being damned” is less about a curse from an ruthless God and instead a natural consequence of stopping our own progression.)
But then, Jesus tells His disciples to never cast out those who have become unworthy.
Instead?
“Ye shall minister unto him and shall pray for him”. (3 Nephi 18:30)
We always minister and pray and love.
So how do we accomplish this without making someone feel like a project?
This is something I’ve been working on for a while – developing and showing true, authentic love.
And something that I’ve only been able to do by seeing beautiful examples from other women that I look up to.
What have they taught me?
Listen much more than we talk.
Most people just want someone to connect with.
And connection comes through conversation and shared experiences.
And when I listen to a sister who has lived a very different path than I have, and I listen and pray and listen some more…
I am filled with the true love of God towards them.
Some people aren’t ready to open up and talk yet, which means finding small ways to show them I care and remember them.
But at the end of the day, we all crave true connection.
So I challenge you to reflect today:
How can I become more authentic in my relationships with others?
How can I show love, no matter what others choose to do?
How I continue to minister and pray in precisely the way my Savior would to each of His children?
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
2 Responses
Ministering, or visit teaching as it used to be known as, is the reason I’m back at church. My kids are eternally sealed to hood, worthy spouses, and after 33 years, my husband finally joined us, & we were eternally sealed.
Then we moved to a whole new state where one of my ‘ministering’ sisters told me, in front of the whole ward as we had a 5th Sun confab on ministering, that she has her friends & doesn’t need anymore!
After that, during Covid, about 100 people moved into our ward. No lie!
I don’t know what this ‘sister’ did with those people. I didn’t pay attention.
I can’t tell you how hurt I was over this action.
I’ve always felt like visit teaching/ministering was in the Lord’s hands, esp after having been an RS pres. He knows who we need in our lives, esp if we wouldn’t normally cross paths with someone. I’ve always looked at vt/ministering as an opportunity to make a new friend, not an assignment, but where our venn diagrams of life intersect.
My testimony is in Jesus, which is why/how after such hateful treatment (& ‘welcome’ to this ward), I’m still active & didn’t leave.
Sorry for the book response. Ministering is just a very tender subject to me.
I am so sorry you had that experience, but I am proud of you for continuing to show up, knowing that’s what our Savior would do. <3