What does “the atonement” really mean?
This was a question that I asked myself over and over again a few years ago.
Every General Conference where I knew I needed to have a question in mind, every sacrament meeting, every Fast Sunday…
I just felt so confused by this elusive “atonement”.
And yet every time I asked the question, I didn’t feel like I was getting much of an answer.
I didn’t feel like God was giving me wisdom liberally in response to my asking.
“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5)
And then one Sunday, I was asked by a teacher to share my thoughts on “the atonement” for a few minutes in a church lesson.
As I nervously spoke to my class, I suddenly realized what a large testimony I had gained of Jesus Christ’s atoning sacrifice!
I discovered how much clarity I had gained over the past few years, little by little.
Even though I felt like I hadn’t received any wisdom, I recognized that I had learned to always refer to the event in reference to the Savior (“the Savior’s atoning sacrifice”).
I knew when I had repented, His atoning sacrifice was what made that possible.
I knew it wasn’t necessary to know the details of what the Savior’s sacrifice looked like in the moment.
I had been given such wisdom about the Savior’s atoning sacrifice, and I didn’t even realize it because it didn’t all come at once.
I keep thinking about Joseph right after the First Vision.
While we look back at that event as the start of a very large stone that now fills the whole earth, Joseph likely saw it as a small step.
He had asked about the state of his soul, and which church to join.
He was told that he was forgiven and that he should not join any of them.
But he wasn’t given any further instruction in that moment.
He had no clue about the Book of Mormon. No clue that he would organize an entirely new church. No clue that he would help restore ancient ordinances and covenants.
Because sometimes, receiving liberal amounts of wisdom from God looks like tiny baby steps in the moment.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
