When I was in high school, I found out that someone I knew was talking poorly about me behind my back.

And boy, did that make me mad.

I started telling this story of someone gossiping about me over and over to all of my friends.

I told them how rude she was being, how unfair, how she didn’t understand my side of things…

Until it clicked one day that I was now the one talking about HER behind her back all the time!

When it was all said and done, I think this acquaintance said one poor thing about me to a handful of people.

And yet, I spent weeks saying poor things about this person to even more people.

In Doctrine and Covenants 31:9, the Lord is teaching Thomas B. Marsh some personal lessons.

Thomas is told to “revile not against those that revile”.

“Revile” means to criticize in an angry or abusive way.

In other words, don’t criticize the people who are criticizing you.

I’ve been on a lifelong journey to try to control my emotions in a mature way, just as Thomas was taught in this verse.

Someone yelling at me, being rude to me, leaving me out, criticizing me… it may hurt when it happens.

And it means that I probably am not going to hang out around them very much in the future.

We can set boundaries.

That girl in high school never became my good friend.

But it doesn’t mean that I yell, criticize, become rude, or intentionally leave others out in return.

Instead, I focus on living the second great commandment and loving my neighbor as myself, completely regardless of other people’s actions.

The world has enough people who revile, and who feel justified in their reviling.

So I’m going to choose love.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

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4 Responses

  1. Thank you, this is such a good lesson; one I hope MANY people read and apply to themselves. It is so easy to fight back when someone says bad things about you; but what did Jesus do? You taught us a wonderful story, comparing what the Lord taught Thomas B. Marsh, to your younger self.
    I love your stories, I save them, I hope that is okay.
    May God Bless you – keep writing!

    1. Awww, that makes me so happy to know that you save the stories. This lesson about not reviling against others is a hard one to practice, but such an awesome thing to do as we live as Jesus would.

  2. I agree with Sister Timberman. I love the way you apply the Gospel Principles into your daily living. I need to learn so much of this. There had been many experiences in my life where people have hurt my feelings and offended me left and right. The hardest part is when those you love and trust believe what those people are saying. Reviling can destroy people’s faith, marriages and only God knows how harmful they can be to anyone. So thankful to stand amazed at Jesus’s love for me and those around me. I was able to be edified and learn from the talk from Elder Redland about “unfairness”. I know that God will recompense all of our sorrows in the eternities. Thanks, Cali for your inspired messages.

    1. Elder Renlund’s talk was amazing, wasn’t it?! It’s such great perspective to remember as we try to learn from our trials and live as Jesus taught us to.

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