Can I be honest?

Sundays have been kind of rough for me recently.

I love Sundays. I love feeling refreshed and renewed. I love learning and being social with my ward family.

But having a husband with a super busy calling, having two young kids, and then having the energy drained from me while being pregnant has added up to lots of rough Sundays.

They end up being exhausting, pretty lonely, and not quite as spiritually rejuvenating as I would like.

It’s hard to see the blessings of the Sabbath.

So I recently tried asking for help in prayer specifically about seeing blessings.

I’m supposed to be seeing the hand of God in my life, and I needed a lot of help seeing where it was on Sundays.

And this is exactly what happened.

“I witness that Jesus Christ loves us and can give us eyes to see—even when it’s hard, even when we’re tired, even when we’re lonely, and even when the outcomes are not as we hoped.” -Michelle D. Craig

I asked for the eyes that could see the hand of the Lord, and I was given them.

I’ll be honest, I’m still tired. Still by myself a lot. Still exhausted.

But I am also blown away by the little blessings that are absolutely everywhere.

Making life just a bit easier. Helping me to still feel love. Giving me opportunities to connect and serve.

“Then the magicians said unto Pharaoh, This is the finger of God: and Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he hearkened not unto them”. (Exodus 8:19)

Pharaoh’s priests decided to see the hand of God in the miracles that Moses and Aaron performed.

And Pharaoh decided to harden his heart and not see any evidence of the Lord.

It’s not always easy. I can attest to that.

But the Savior wants to give us eyes to see the hand of God in our lives, no matter what our circumstances are.

Because His power and influence and miracles are truly everywhere.

We just have to be willing and humble enough to look.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

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6 Responses

  1. We just had our two youngest kids (out of 9) living at home when my husband was called as bishop. I was often lonely and carried a heavy load, sometimes resenting his time away from us. It took me a few years to really support him by trying to feel the Lord’s love for our ward members and praying for them. As I did that, I learned to love them more and I was sad when he was released! I’m so impressed at your insights and endurance during such an intense season of parenting. May God continue to bless and strengthen you! ❤️

    1. It sounds like you ended up having a great experience with something that can feel overwhelming at times. Thank you so much for sharing! <3

  2. Cali,

    Please ask your relief society president for some help. She could find maybe a sister or two in your ward or a couple of young women who can come over Sunday mornings to help get your kids fed and dress for Sacrament. While you get yourself ready. Maybe even help by sitting with you in the pew to help with the kids. Maybe even someone to take them for a couple of hours so you can rest a little.

    You don’t have to physically do it all by yourself. I know as an empty nester, I would love the opportunity to help but unfortunately I live in Missouri. But I have to believe there are others like me who would jump at the chance to help.

    Back in the day, I was a pregnant and a single mom with young kids so I know how challenging and exhausting it can be to do these things single handedly. It was help from sisters and young women in the ward that got me through and allowed me to feel the spiritual peaceI needed from being at church.

    Often times the way God answers our prayers is through the hands of others.

    God bless!!

  3. I was prepared for something entirely different when I read the title regarding honesty. You see, I’ve known more than one person who uses “honesty” as a club. As a friend of mine said, “Honesty without tact is cruelty”. But happily, your article was a completely different and refreshing take. Witnessing the small mercies of the Lord is amazing!

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