For those who have followed me for a while, you know 2020 has been a bit of a crazy year for me personally.
I gave birth to my little boy in January, and adding a new human to the mix always makes things a little more chaotic, with a lot less sleep.
And then, in early March, I started having random, intense abdominal attacks and my doctor had no clue what was going on.
And then, I had the realization that my sweet baby boy had a vision impairment.
And then… the world shut down, bringing insecurities of every kind, but especially social isolation.
And so our family navigated multiple doctor’s appointments, meetings with specialists via Zoom, an ultrasound, scan, emergency hospital stay, unexpected surgery, MRI under anesthesia, diagnosis…
All during a pandemic.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was in “survival mode”, as I know many others have been.
I was overdrawing from my spiritual bank – taking out a whole lot more emotional strength than I was putting in at the time.
As it should be in times like that.
But a few weeks ago, I realized that the biggest storms had passed, and yet I was mentally still in a war zone.
My family is doing great now. Barrett has his diagnosis and resources to help him move forward. I’ve got one less organ in my body and I’m not in constant fear of another painful attack.
This is my time of peace. We are good.
But I haven’t been ramping up my spiritual protection as much as I should be.
Captain Moroni used his times of peace to fortify cities against future attacks.
You can’t really fortify during an attack – it’s all about the preparation.
And so now that my mental and physical “attacks” have subsided, I’m choosing to switch back into preparation mode.
I’m now hoarding all the spiritual experiences, the immersion in the scriptures, the special moments praying.
I’m putting it all into my spiritual bank.
I’m building up that fortress.
So that the next time I have to go to battle (because I know that difficult times are still ahead for me), I’ll have a wealth of knowledge and strength to draw on.
Because I have strengthened in my times of peace.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
8 Responses
Bless you as you build up your spiritual bank!
Love all your messages…right to the point and much needed.
Thank you very much! <3
I was about to write that I was sorry for all your problems encountered at such a wonderful event of giving birth to your son. I suddenly realized that we really shouldn’t be sorry for problems/challenges. Within them are gems of learning. I love the way you see those gems and relate them to help us learn to look for them in our own challenges. Here is hoping there is a season of peace as you enjoy your new baby. Much love to yu and family.
Joni
Sometimes I get behind reading your posts and I will leave a comment on Your older ones. I don’t know if you go back and read them or not. Thank you for todays. Bill
I have had times of my fortifications being under attack, I am homebound temporarily. I inherited a house with my sister in law that has tremendous repair needs, she has made decisions that have impacted me greatly. Since the contractor is her boyfriend I am overridden on decisions, always with the comments “it’s only things, Jesus is coming so soon it doesn’t matter”. Her negativity has taxed my spiritual “sanity” at times until I chose the “higher ground” and realized I am preparing for Christ’s return by building even stronger fortification against the adversary trying to invade and divert my studies and preparation. I choose instead to love her and send her uplifting quotes. She is suffering from profound depression, shame and guilt so my responsibility is lifting her up not going to her level. Sometimes that mean avoiding her physically but never spiritually
I love that. Such a great physical AND spiritual parallel! <3
This was the perfect thing for me to read right now as I’ve had a traumatic 2020 so far too but things are finally starting to be peaceful. It’s hard to transition from survival mode back to peaceful/preparation mode and prayer and scripture and reading things like your posts are definitely helping.
Yeah. it can be weird to make that transition sometimes! I’m with you, trying to get back into that time of strengthening. Best of luck to you in your efforts! <3