I don’t think anyone has ever explicitly said that it is, but over the past 10 years as most of my friends have gotten married, I’ve noticed this attitude of wanting to make it to a temple marriage, and then life will be good from there.

Like I said, marriage is fantastic.

But anyone who’s married knows it’s most certainly not the finish line for life.

I think we sometimes fall into setting a standard for when we’ve “made it” –

Whether it’s getting married, finally remembering to read scriptures every day, once all your kids serve missions, once you have a certain calling…

We can read the words “endure to the end” and think of getting “good enough” and then just coasting.

But Rebecca M. Craven taught us recently that “enduring to the ends means CHANGING until the end”.

Marriage is a fantastic goal to have and a fun milestone to meet, but LUCKILY my husband and I have changed a lot over our past 7 years.

And we are excited to change even more.

We endure together by changing together, improving, maturing, and loving better.

In marriage, in any role that we hold, and as an individual, we not only CAN always improve, but we SHOULD always improve.

Our humble general authorities are beautiful examples of this, sharing their journeys of faith, their new discoveries, their changes…

We never get to just cruise in autopilot.

Maybe that’s an intimidating thought.

But I like it.

I’m never gonna earn it and then just endure. I’ll always have something to work on.

Fun, huh?!

That’s how we will stand guiltless before God on judgment day:

Not because we are perfect and actually blameless.

But because we changed every day all the way to the end.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post How to stand blameless first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Yesterday, my daughter did something, and I asked her to stop and explained why she shouldn’t do that.

And then a minute later, she tried it again.

I asked her to stop, and she said, “no!”

She usually has pretty good behavior for a two-year-old, so I was a little surprised.

I picked her up and removed her from the potentially dangerous situation, and while I placed her down, I said a little prayer in my heart:

“What would the Savior do in this situation?”

The quick answer that came to my mind?

“You’ll learn. Just try your best right now.”

I tried something. I think it worked okay. And then I hugged her and told her I loved her.

It wasn’t perfect.

I literally don’t know exactly how the Savior would respond in that situation.

I have ideas and options in my head, but I honestly just don’t know sometimes.

I’ve run into this exact situation a few times lately-

How can I be Christlike when I’m not even sure what being Christlike looks like in this situation?

How can we be men and women just as he was, when we don’t always know what that should look like?

First, I know I’ve learned that I need to be worthy to have the Spirit with me at all times.

Because I know the Spirit can teach me.

But secondly, the lesson I was taught again yesterday was that the Spirit is NOT going to show me exactly what to do every single time I ask.

Because… that’s the whole point.

I need to learn what is the most Christlike response.

And I’ve noticed that Christ didn’t always respond in the same way to everyone.

He tailored his responses and his actions to exactly what the person with whom he was interacting needed.

So the most Christlike response to my daughter’s defiance might look differently than the most Christlike response to someone else’s defiance.

But at the root of being Christlike is knowledge and love.

The more that I love someone, and the more that I learn about them, the better I am able to know what “Christlike” looks for them.

And that’s a long process.

So when I’m asked to be a woman with the same manner that our Savior had, I know that it will take love, knowledge, and a lifetime of learning to discover what exactly that looks like.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post For when we don’t know what Jesus would do first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Quin yelled that at me last week as she jumped off the beanbag.

I was working on my computer but turned my head to watch the jump.

“Great job!” I said, and turned back to my computer.

About a minute later, this entire exchange happened again.

And then about 5 more times.

She asked me to watch her, I’d stop my work for a moment, turn to look at her, give her praise, and go back to work.

And then one time when she finished her jump, she said, “Mommy, wait! Don’t look at your computer! Watch me the whole time!”

And I felt a little sting.

She just wanted my full attention.

Not even really my praise, but my attention throughout her entire “trick”.

Which way do we face?

In 3 Nephi 30, our Savior commands us to “turn… from your wicked ways”.

And then invites us to “come unto me”.

He wants us to actually turn away from the lesser things of the world, and keep our full attention on him.

Not to be entirely focused on other things and only turn our heads when it’s time for church, a prayer, or a lesson.

He just wants our full attention.

We face him, and then everything else comes into perspective.

We know when to work and where to work and how much to work. We know when to spend time with our family and when to pursue other hobbies. We know what to let go of and what to hold on to.

When we face him, we see our lives with the full power of the Spirit.

And we have to decide if we will turn away from the seemingly important distractions and make our Savior our top priority.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Which way do we face? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

It had “LDS” in the name.

President Nelson had already made statements about the full name of the Church as well as delivered a powerful General Conference address, but in my mind, “LDS” wasn’t really a harmful acronym.

But in March of 2019, the Church announced that they were changing lds.org to churchofJesusChrist.org.

And that’s when I had the strong impression that I needed to change the name of my Instagram account to remove the “LDS” acronym.

I, personally, didn’t feel that putting the name of our Savior into my name was the right thing to do; but I knew that I didn’t want to perpetuate any names for our Church that removed our Savior.

It seems kind of small looking back on it, but it was an important and powerful, tangible change for me at the time.

I already had a few thousand followers on my account at that point, and I was growing exponentially every day. I knew that changing my name on Instagram was not something that was recommended in the social media world.

And yet, I knew I needed to change it. Thus, “Come Follow Me Study” was born – a name that has shaped the trajectory of my account as I’ve shared advice on how to really STUDY the scriptures.

The Savior taught his disciples in 3 Nephi 27:5 that the church needs to be called in his name.

It is his church. We worship him. And others need to know.

Elder Neil L. Andersen taught us recently that, “As the world speaks less of Jesus Christ, let us speak more of Him.”

We can do our part to remove harmful or dismissive abbreviations or nicknames for our Church.

But then we have to fill their places with more talk of Christ!

In virtually every post that I make on this account, I try to make the connection between the principle I’m sharing thoughts about, and my Savior.

I would hope that anyone scrolling through my feed would know that I am not afraid to preach of my Savior.

And I’m working more on making sure my family and friends get that same dose of “Jesus” from me, too!

This is Jesus Christ’s church. Any little adjustment we can make to rid ourselves of harmful phrases and add statements about our Savior will yield blessings!

As Christ himself teaches, “whoso taketh upon him my name, and endureth to the end, the same shall be saved at the last day.” 3 Nephi 27:6.

Artwork by Minerva Teichert

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The Church of Jesus Christ first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I love it because I can stay in touch with family and friends who aren’t with me.

I show them funny things that my kids do, brag about accomplishments, ask for advice, vent, ramble…

Most of the time, no one is watching live as I send my video.

They’ll watch it whenever they can, and respond when they can.

It’s fun to not have to worry about whether or not they are available to chat – I just send it when it’s convenient to me!

(And no, this post isn’t sponsored by the Marco Polo app “live”  )

But this is how I imagine my constant prayers in my heart to my Heavenly Father, too.

Whenever I’m in a moment of gratitude, pride for my kids, laughter, frustration, confusion, or even boredom…

He is there and waiting for me to share the little snippet of my life with Him.

(Except, He’s always available and always watching me on “live” )

And there are other times where I actually meet up with my friends, FaceTime with my family, or speak face to face with my husband.

Those are important conversations because that’s where the real communication happens, where real bonds are formed, where my relationships become authentic and important.

Our relationship with our Heavenly Father needs BOTH the formal morning/evening prayers AND the constant, more casual check-ins.

Sometimes, I rock at my formal prayers.

But other times, I find myself only “sending Marco Polos” by reaching out during the day in casual moments when my emotions are particularly strong.

I think a good, strong relationship needs both.

We were counseled in General Conference to re-double our efforts when it comes to prayer, and I’ve been examining this balance a lot.

Real, deep, communing conversations with our Heavenly Father are essential in order to get to know Him.

And little, constant check-ins on our part keep our hearts always turned to Him.

Both are important to build and maintain a healthy and relevant relationship.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Sending Marco Polos first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Why do I always forget that life is SUPPOSED to be hard and confusing?

That I’m not supposed to have prayers instantaneously answered all the time?

That I’m supposed to wrestle with difficult topics and not always know the answer, no matter how educated I am?

I know these things.

I can write a beautiful post about how we are here for challenges, and that Christ will help us overcome them.

But still, when bad times come, when temptations are too much, when my prayers are left unanswered for months on end, when I feel defeated… I sometimes forget.

And I think that’s why I actually find beautiful peace in the sweet statement of our Savior to Mormon that he wants to try our faith.

This is how it is supposed to be.

This is exactly how it’s supposed to be.

Nothing has gone wrong.

And yet, when I sit down to count the good times, the answered prayers, the quiet confirmations, the kind friends, the beautiful moments of clarity and understanding and peace…

They far outweigh the bad.

We aren’t supposed to know everything, but we can still learn a lot.

Not every prayer will be answered right away, but we can still pray and feel the Spirit along the journey.

Life will be super difficult sometimes, but I can still feel peace.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Trying our faith first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Nephi retrieved them and handed them to the Lord.

Christ looked through some of the pages, scanning for something he knew he wouldn’t find.

He turned to Nephi, filled with love.

“I commanded my servant Samuel, the Lamanite, that he should testify unto this people, that at the day that the Father should glorify his name in me that there were many saints who should arise from the dead, and should appear unto many, and should minister unto them. Was it not so?”

Nephi and the others eagerly responded.

“Yea, Lord!”

And then Jesus looked right at Nephi.

“How be it that ye have not written this thing, that many saints did arise and appear unto many and did minister unto them?”

Nephi’s heart was likely pierced with guilt.

He had forgotten to write about that. He had written other descriptions, but not for this specific prophecy.

Maybe he had actively chosen to write about different prophecies. Maybe he had meant to write that in later. Maybe it honestly had slipped his mind as he recorded their history.

But ultimately, it had not happened.

Guilt might have started to overpower him. The Savior of the world uncovering a mistake he had made.

But what did Jesus do?

He commanded that the fulfillment of that previously omitted prophecy should be written.

And so it was written.

What I’ve learned time and time again is that my Savior doesn’t want me to wallow in self-pity and excessive guilt or shame.

He is so good at helping me see my faults, my mistakes, my weaknesses.

But after the exposure, after the piercing guilt…

All he really wants is for me to change.

Sometimes it’s as simple as writing something down that was forgotten.

And other times it takes a lifetime of feeling that guilt, trying again, omitting again, and then repeating.

But after every fall, after every moment I’m reminded of my weakness, he invites me to get back up and fix it.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post An invitation to change first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I had just graduated from BYU with my teaching degree, and now my husband was starting grad school.

So the plan was for me to work full time in order to put him through school.

But… the school year had already started and no one was hiring new teachers.

And so we sat with zero income coming in – watching our savings account get smaller and smaller.

That used car that we had bought? It was in desperate need of new tires. But we couldn’t bear to pull that money out of savings with nothing coming in.

And so I prayed to Heavenly Father. “Please help our tires last long enough until I get paid.”

I finally was able to get work as a substitute teacher.

My first check finally hit our bank account. We paid our tithing on it.

And our tire blew out on the freeway the next day, necessitating our purchase of new tires.

It was a super small miracle. Nothing like the much more dramatic stories that other people tell.

But the Spirit bore clear witness that our faithfulness in paying tithing when we had income coming in is what saved us from having to buy new tires out of only savings.

Because at the end of the day, we aren’t promised an outpouring of financial blessings when we pay our tithing.

But we are promised a blessing that we will not have enough room to receive.

And while I have my one story, I’ve learned that the true blessing of paying tithing has to do with my relationship with God.

When I willingly give up some of my money week after week, I root out my love of money.

And I learn to rely on God – a lesson that spills over into every aspect of my life.

My heart starts putting the love of God higher than my love of money, in the most literal way possible.

THAT is the biggest blessing of paying tithing for me.

Saying that I love God over everything else in my life…

And then putting my money where my mouth is.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The love of God and money first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“If you would have God have mercy on you, have mercy on one another.” – Joseph Smith, as quoted by Sharon Eubank

“God delights in mercy and does not begrudge its use.” – Dale G. Renlund

“Loving mercy means that we do not just love the mercy God extends to us; we delight that God extends the same mercy to others.” – Dale G. Renlund

From these quotes from Oct 2020 General Conference, I think we might need to extend more mercy to people right now than we ever have before.

I’ll be the first to admit that MERCY is where I feel most like a hypocrite.

I need it A LOT. But extending it to others in my life has not always been natural.

I know when I’m tired and overwhelmed and just need a break from normal responsibilities.

But letting other people “slack off”?! Much harder to do.

For the past three years or so, I’ve actively worked on showing mercy to the people around me as much as possible.

Letting go of “holding people accountable”, “they should know better”, and “how will they ever learn.”

Which is difficult, because those lessons are engrained pretty deeply within me.

But guess what I learned?

Showing mercy and extreme kindness to other people hasn’t changed their actions at all.

But it has completely changed my heart.

A loving God knows exactly when we need justice, and when we need mercy, and He doesn’t hesitate to dish out either.

And we mortals have to try and learn that perfect balance.

When does my daughter need me to stop the fun and enforce bedtime? And when does she need me to throw the rules aside and laugh with her a little more?

All I know is that I have never regretted erring on the side of mercy.

And I don’t think our Heavenly Father regrets His mercy, either.

He delights in sharing it with us.

Which means, in order to become like Him, we need to delight in indulging others with our mercy.

A tough thing to do in a world as tough as ours.

But a necessary step in order to soften our hearts and respond in kindness and mercy.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Kindness and mercy first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

In 3 Nephi 18:15, Christ implores the people to, “Pray always, lest ye be tempted by the devil.”

True, sincere prayer is often viewed as speaking to God.

And while that is absolutely a beautiful purpose for it, there is another powerful aspect, too:

“Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.” (Bible Dictionary, “Prayer”)

Prayer doesn’t have to be us thinking of a one-sided laundry list of “asks” and “thanks”.

It can be a beautiful, powerful, back and forth conversation where we ask for assistance, and then become inspired for the things we should even be praying for.

There is a flow of love, of energy, of light, until our wills are brought into correspondence.

And it can take a long time.

My conversation last night with Heavenly Father?

“I’m overwhelmed and feeling very inadequate. I need help.”

And after a moment –

“I need to feel some peace first. I’m having a hard time thinking rationally.”

Peace.

“Thank you for that peace.”

A quick tug of the Spirit.

“I think I need to ask you what I need to change.”

Peace.

And a moment to think.

“I’m going to try this new strategy. Is that a good decision?”

A pause.

“I’m thinking I might need to really ponder this question for General Conference weekend.”

Peace.

“Thank you for all of your guidance and peace.”

That was it. You aren’t getting the full conversation, since that started months ago and probably will keep continuing in the future.

But it was a little glimpse of alignment.

A hair closer to my ultimate destination of desiring to desire what He desires.

Prayer can be a conversation.

And when we practice unlocking this power, of conversing and aligning and communing, Satan doesn’t stand a chance.

Artwork: “Heavenly Guidance” by KenzieJo @kenziejoscollection

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Aligning our wills first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.