I was talking with a student who had just called a classmate a bad word during work time. ⁣

It’s a tough lesson to learn as a 6th grader, and so I launched into my tried and true explanation: ⁣

“I’m so sorry that she was being rude to you. I can deal with that separately. ⁣

“But at the end of the day, what’s going to serve you best in life is if you can understand that you always are responsible for the choices you make.⁣

“If she had pushed you, and you fell down, you would not get any consequences for falling down because that is a natural reaction that would happen to anyone.⁣

“If she has been rude to you all class, you can’t really control how frustrated you feel. But you could have chosen to come and talk to me, or you could have moved to a new seat, or you could have talked to her in a respectful way.⁣

“You still made this specific decision, and so you’ll need to deal with the consequences for this choice.”⁣

I had given this same talk to countless other middle schoolers whose first reaction to getting caught doing something was to put the blame on someone else. ⁣

It’s one of the most powerful life lessons that both Adam and Eve demonstrate beautifully for us.⁣

Eve could have put all the blame on the serpent, and Adam could have put all the blame on Eve. ⁣

But they both, after giving explanations for their motivation, took full responsibility for their actions:⁣

“I did eat.” – Adam, Genesis 3:12⁣

“I did eat.” – Eve, Genesis 3:13⁣

When I’m praying, I notice how tempting it can be to put the blame on someone else:⁣

My kids were so crazy that they made me lose my patience and yell today!⁣

And yet it is so much more empowering to realize that I still made the choice:⁣

My kids had a lot of energy today. And I chose to yell when I couldn’t handle my emotions anymore. I feel badly about this, and I want to do better at dealing with all that frustration when it happens. ⁣

Personal accountability makes it so much easier to repent, to change, and to improve! ⁣

How has personal accountability been a blessing in your life?

“Spiritual maturity is understanding that we cannot blame anybody else for our actions.” – Elaine Cannon

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post She made me do it!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I was talking with a student who had just called a classmate a bad word during work time.

It’s a tough lesson to learn as a 6th grader, and so I launched into my tried and true explanation:

“I’m so sorry that she was being rude to you. I can deal with that separately.

“But at the end of the day, what’s going to serve you best in life is if you can understand that you always are responsible for the choices you make.

“If she had pushed you, and you fell down, you would not get any consequences for falling down because that is a natural reaction that would happen to anyone.

“If she has been rude to you all class, you can’t really control how frustrated you feel. But you could have chosen to come and talk to me, or you could have moved to a new seat, or you could have talked to her in a respectful way.

“You still made this specific decision, and so you’ll need to deal with the consequences for this choice.”

I had given this same talk to countless other middle schoolers whose first reaction to getting caught doing something was to put the blame on someone else.

It’s one of the most powerful life lessons that both Adam and Eve demonstrate beautifully for us.

Eve could have put all the blame on the serpent, and Adam could have put all the blame on Eve.

But they both, after giving explanations for their motivation, took full responsibility for their actions:

“I did eat.” – Adam, Genesis 3:12

“I did eat.” – Eve, Genesis 3:13

When I’m praying, I notice how tempting it can be to put the blame on someone else:

My kids were so crazy that they made me lose my patience and yell today!

And yet it is so much more empowering to realize that I still made the choice:

My kids had a lot of energy today. And I chose to yell when I couldn’t handle my emotions anymore. I feel badly about this, and I want to do better at dealing with all that frustration when it happens.

Personal accountability makes it so much easier to repent, to change, and to improve!

How has personal accountability been a blessing in your life?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Personal accountability with Adam and Eve first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And of course, it always took a good couple of minutes, with no cars passing by, for that light to turn green so that I could turn right onto the main road.

I could clearly see the oncoming traffic, and after the groups of cars from the previous light, there would be long stretches of empty road while I just waited.

And so… I turned right on red all the time.

But I started noticing something interesting about myself.

If I was alone and there was no one in sight, I would turn right on the red.

But if there was a car that was following me, I would wait at that red light until it turned green.

Basically, I only cared about following the traffic rules if there was someone else there to watch me or judge me.

My integrity wasn’t strong, and my accountability was to random strangers’ cars and judgments.

It’s kind of a trivial example, but when I realized my patterns of stopping or going, I felt like it really betrayed where my heart was.

The Lord taught the saddened saints in D&C 63:47: “He that is faithful and endureth shall overcome the world.”

How do we overcome the world?

One way that I’ve noticed is that my accountability has shifted.

Instead of relying so much on the praise or judgment of others, I’m starting to become accountable to God.

And accountable to God alone.

It’s tough sometimes.

It’s still easy to get caught up in that fear of what others will say or think. Especially when they are people that I care about a lot.

But the process of overcoming the world to me has been the process of learning to be accountable to God, and to let all my other worries slide away.

To do the “right thing” because I know that it is something God has asked me to do.

And to avoid the “wrong thing” because I know it’s something that God has advised would not be good for me.

(And ideally, because it’s something I’ve also gained a testimony of for myself.)

And to be honest, when I’m totally aligned and focused on only being accountable to God, my life gets a whole lot more peaceful.

To overcome the world, I am learning to become completely accountable to God.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Accountability and red lights first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.