Shame is when we believe we are a bad person because we have done something wrong. ⁣

It keeps us hiding and secretive, because we wouldn’t want anyone else to find out about the “bad person” that we really are. ⁣

Sometimes other people play a lot into shame. ⁣

A kid hears their mom making judgmental comments about the kid next door, and they assume that if their mom knew they were caught up in the same thing, mom would judge and talk badly about them too. ⁣

A youth leader makes an analogy in a church lesson that makes the teen listening feel like they have lost their worth because of a mistake they have made. ⁣

These are so sad, and I’m constantly trying to get rid of any “shaming” that I may inadvertently do in my parenting or in my teaching. ⁣

But other times, I think we are really good at inventing the shame all in our head. ⁣

“They heard the voice of the Lord God… and Adam and his wife went to hide themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.” (Moses 4:14)⁣

Did God shame Adam and Eve when they had their discussion about what had happened?⁣

Not at all.⁣

In fact, I think God gives us a perfect parenting example of asking curious questions, showing love, teaching about a natural consequence, showing even more love, and then even giving them a beautifully symbolic gift of a coat of skins to protect them as they left the garden. ⁣

But Adam and Eve, as natural, fallen, humans at this point, still felt that shame and wanted to hide from God. ⁣

Feeling like we need to hide because we have sinned is a natural thing to do. ⁣

But the more that we learn about the nature of God and Christ, ideally, the less shame we feel.⁣

Because we are instead filled with Their love. ⁣

God never turns away anyone who wants to run toward Him and ask for help, no matter what sins they’ve committed. ⁣

So where do we turn when we have sinned?⁣

Do we hide it and hope no one ever knows? Or do we place it at the Lord’s feet in full humility, ready to be cleansed and changed?

“Because of Jesus Christ, our failures do not have to define us. They can refine us.” –  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Hide!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I grew to love those kids, but every day was an exercise in my patience, classroom management, crisis management, and attitude, to say the least! ⁣

I moved to a new school the following year, and these kids were a dream. ⁣

I remember coming home after the first day and telling my husband that this was going to be a much better year. ⁣

After the first week of school, my co-teacher, who I swapped the exact same kids with every day after lunch, sat down with me to debrief. ⁣

I sat there shocked as he went on and on about how rough these kids were! ⁣

He had been teaching at that exact same school for 10 years, and he said it was the worst group of kids he had ever had. ⁣

Our attitudes toward our two shared classes were almost completely shaped by the differing experiences we had prior to that moment. ⁣

In that moment, I realized that so much of our experience here on earth is about comparison. ⁣

Adam and Eve learned this lesson very early on.

In Moses 5:10-11, Adam said:⁣

“Because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy…” ⁣

Eve said, “Were it not for our transgression… we never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption”. ⁣

As tempting as it can be to wish for smooth-sailing throughout life, with perfectly organized and balanced schedules, it can’t be so. ⁣

There’s a purpose for the busy seasons, for the chaos, for the trials and struggles. ⁣

We need both! ⁣

We need the rough times so that we can actually find the joy when the blessings flow.

“Opposition is an essential part of the divine plan for helping us grow, and in the midst of that process, we have God’s assurance that, in the long view of eternity, opposition will not be allowed to overcome us.” – President Oaks

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Opposing 6th graders first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

There was no way what my HR director was telling me was true. ⁣⁣

“But I’ve signed up for short-term disability for the past three years!”

“Oh,” the HR director said. “But did you also fill out the physical application for it each year, too?”⁣⁣

I had no clue about a physical application. ⁣⁣

I’m a fairly competent, intelligent person who had attended the employee benefits meeting every year. ⁣⁣

And I truly, honestly did not remember hearing about this extra step. ⁣⁣

I was frustrated, devastated, concerned for our financial situation…⁣⁣

But nothing could change that. I hadn’t paid into the insurance, and so I didn’t get it. ⁣⁣

It was one of the worst feelings in the world:

The feeling of being punished for something that you truly had no clue you were doing wrong. ⁣⁣

Real life is rough like this sometimes. ⁣⁣

Honest mistakes and innocent oversights can have devastating impacts. ⁣⁣

I can hardly even imagine a loving Heavenly Father who would hold something over my head that I did not knowingly do. ⁣⁣

Instead, “We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.” (Article of Faith 2) 

I think of silly times, like when I thoroughly enjoyed a cake at a neighborhood party, just for my mom to realize it was filled with coffee afterwards, and I felt so guilty. ⁣⁣

Or more somber times when I believed I was helping someone out, only to discover that I had unknowingly harmed their spiritual progress. ⁣⁣

I am grateful that I will be punished— or held accountable— for my own sins.

In order to sin, I have to have a knowledge of the principle against which I am sinning.

This seems totally fair to me.

I won’t be held accountable for anyone else’s transgressions, whether it’s Adam’s, Eve’s, a leader’s, or a friend’s mistake.

God will only hold me accountable for the sins I choose. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post My honest mistake  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.