I usually kept things super high energy and busy on the first day, so that the kids didn’t have an option but to be engaged and get to know me. ⁣

And within just a few minutes, this particular student was already being defiant and apathetic. ⁣

So I made it a goal to say 5 positive, non-behavior-related comments to him each day. ⁣

⁣I complimented his shoes. I asked him what they did in P.E. today. I asked him to help me hand out pencils. He wrote a sentence about a movie when I had asked for a paragraph, and I talked to him all about my favorite parts of the movie. ⁣

He seemed surprised at first. ⁣

But he started to warm up to me. ⁣

Then, I slowly introduced private conversations about his behavior. ⁣

“Hey, I get that you were trying to be funny when you made that comment earlier, but it really derailed the entire class for a while. Could you help me out and save those kinds of comments til after class or when we have some free time?”⁣

And then, when he’d start to talk out in class again, I’d give him a little “knowing” look.⁣

He caught on. ⁣

Honestly, he was a good kid. He really struggled academically, but the behavior issues subsided to the point that they weren’t so disruptive. ⁣

I made A WHOLE LOT of mistakes while teaching. ⁣

But I never let a child leave my classroom without knowing that they were seen as a real human being, and that they were loved. ⁣

I LITERALLY thought of this scripture often, and even taught a training to my co-workers using this “saying that I once heard”…⁣

“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;” (D&C 121:43⁣)

I now use this in my parenting all the time.

When the positive comments VASTLY outweigh the corrective or negative, no matter how many there are, there is a feeling of love and “I’m on your team”-ness. ⁣

God sees us as more than our mistakes, and I think He wants us to emulate that, too.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The defiant 6th grader first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

This has been a fascinating journey for me. ⁣

Especially in the streaming era where I have access to thousands of shows with various ratings and content. ⁣

Many of us were taught to stay away from certain ratings. ⁣

That’s the behavior that culturally gets taught, either in families or in church. ⁣

And then you start to wonder… why?⁣

Would it really be that bad to watch a movie with that rating?⁣

Is that really doctrine?⁣

Good intentions from teachers and parents turn into kids wondering what the truth really is. ⁣

Teaching behavior can sometimes fix behavior. ⁣

But you know which strategy has been recommended by the Lord?⁣

“And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.” D&C 88:77⁣

Doctrine. ⁣

“The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.” -Boyd K. Packer⁣

What’s the doctrine behind media choices?⁣

The doctrine is that we do SO much to have the Holy Spirit’s presence with us as often as we can. ⁣

We repent and get baptized and take the sacrament so that we can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. ⁣

When we have the Spirit’s presence with us, we are literally accompanied by a member of the Godhead. ⁣

We feel more peace, we receive direction, we feel comfort, we are warned… there are countless blessings from having the Spirit with us. ⁣

And there are warnings for what happens when we harden our hearts and make choices that keep the Spirit away from us. ⁣

Powerful doctrine, right?⁣

When the conversation shifts to doctrine, behavior changes a whole lot faster. ⁣

What’s that practice or application your loved one is really struggling with?⁣

Take the time to consider what the DOCTRINE is behind that action, and try starting there. ⁣

Studying behavior can certainly change behavior. ⁣

But for the real, long-lasting effects and for our hearts to be in the right place, we need to focus on teaching the doctrine.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Doctrine and behavior  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

This has been a fascinating journey for me.

Especially in the Netflix era where all of a sudden, I have access to hundreds of shows with various ratings and content.

Many of us were taught to stay away from certain ratings.

That’s the behavior that culturally gets taught, either in families or in church.

And then you start to wonder… why?

Would it really be that bad to watch a movie with that rating?

Is that really doctrine?

Good intentions from teachers and parents turn into kids wondering what the truth really is.

Teaching behavior can sometimes fix behavior.

But you know which strategy has been recommended by the Lord?

“And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.” D&C 88:77

Doctrine.

“The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.” -Boyd K. Packer

What’s the doctrine behind media choices?

The doctrine is that we do SO much to have the Holy Spirit’s presence with us as often as we can.

We repent and get baptized and take the sacrament so that we can receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

When we have the Spirit’s presence with us, we are literally accompanied by a member of the Godhead.

We feel more peace, we receive direction, we feel comfort, we are warned… there are countless blessings from having the Spirit with us.

And there are warnings for what happens when we harden our hearts and make choices that keep the Spirit away from us.

Powerful doctrine, right?

When the conversation shifts to doctrine, behavior changes a whole lot faster.

What’s that practice or application your loved one is really struggling with?

Take the time to consider what the DOCTRINE is behind that action, and try starting there.

Studying behavior can certainly change behavior.

But for the real, long-lasting effects and for our hearts to be in the right place, we need to focus on teaching the doctrine.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Teaching doctrine first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.