Not out of hatred, or disgust, or annoyance. ⁣

But out of love. ⁣

“I… had loved them, according to the love of God which was in me, with all my heart;⁣

“And my soul had been poured out in prayer unto my God all the day long for them.” (Mormon 3:12)⁣

Mormon literally gives us a little masterclass in setting healthy boundaries. ⁣

He loved his people so much. And he loved God so much. And he probably loved himself and his family, too. ⁣

And with that love in his heart, he had to say no. ⁣

Saying “no” isn’t bad. It isn’t a sin. (Sometimes we need that reminder, right?!)⁣

Saying “no” because you want to hurt someone, or you don’t care about their situation… that’s not great. ⁣

Saying “no” because you love someone, and need to protect your own inner peace (or maybe even your life) is amazing and necessary. ⁣

BUT THEN skip ahead to Mormon chapter 5. Verse 1. ⁣

13 or so years later, Mormon says that he will lead them again. ⁣

He changes his promise (or “repents of the oath”) and returns to his position as military commander. ⁣

What was his mindset like now?⁣

“I was without hope, for I knew the judgments of the Lord which should come upon them”. (Mormon 5:2)⁣

While this sounds a little despondent, I actually see a leader who has now set realistic expectations for how he will interact with his troops, who are probably many of his dear friends. ⁣

He knows that destruction is imminent. ⁣

And yet, his love has now brought him to want to lead again, to at least give them a fighting chance, and to fulfill his duty.

Maybe he even felt “called” to do this now. ⁣

Such a cool pattern, right?!⁣

He felt so much love that he had to say “no” for a while. ⁣

And then he felt so much love, adjusted his expectations, and decided he was ready to say, “yes”!⁣

We can set boundaries in love, and we can change boundaries later, still out of love.

Listening to, above all else, the Spirit’s whisperings in learning the best way in that exact moment to know how to show Christlike love to all.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Mormon refused first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Not out of hatred, or disgust, or annoyance.

But out of love.

“I… had loved them, according to the love of God which was in me, with all my heart;

“And my soul had been poured out in prayer unto my God all the day long for them.” (Mormon 3:12)

Mormon literally gives us a little masterclass in setting healthy boundaries.

He loved his people so much. And he loved God so much. And he probably loved himself and his family, too.

And with that love in his heart, he had to say no.

Saying “no” isn’t bad. It isn’t a sin. (Sometimes we need that reminder, right?!)

Saying “no” because you want to hurt someone, or you don’t care about their situation… that’s probably not great.

Saying “no” because you love someone, and need to protect your own inner peace (or maybe even your life) is amazing and necessary.

BUT THEN skip ahead to Mormon chapter 5. Verse 1.

13 or so years later, Mormon says that he will lead them again.

He changes his promise (or “repents of the oath”) and returns to his position as military commander.

What was his mindset like now?

“I was without hope, for I knew the judgments of the Lord which should come upon them”. (Mormon 5:2)

While this sounds a little despondent, I actually see a leader who has now set realistic expectations for how he will interact with his troops, who are probably many of his dear friends.

He knows that destruction is imminent.

And yet, his love has now brought him to want to lead again, to at least give them a fighting chance, and to fulfill his duty. Maybe he even felt “called” to do this now.

Such a cool pattern, right?!

He felt so much love that he had to say “no” for a while.

And then he felt so much love, adjusted his expectations, and decided he was ready to say, “yes”!

Life coaching straight from the scriptures, everyone.

We can set boundaries in love, and we can change boundaries later, still out of love.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Setting boundaries with Mormon first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

You know what I’ve learned about Alma?

He seems to have established his personal boundaries pretty well.

He had two giant jobs (chief judge and high priest). It was causing him a lot of sorrow, so he gave up the chief judge position.

And then, after teaching the saints in Gideon, “he returned to his own house at Zarahemla to rest himself from the labors which he had performed.” (Alma 8:1)

He needed to go home and rest – so he did!

He knew that he couldn’t keep going from city to city without a break. Other people had done it, but he knew that HE could not handle that without resting.

So he went home.

He used his down time to rest and refresh himself, and then he got back to work the next year as he traveled to Melek and Ammonihah.

That’s a delicate balance in the self-care realm, right?

To know when to rest, and to know when to get back to work.

I most certainly do not have this balance down perfectly. But I think I’m improving each day.

We can’t do the work we are meant to do on this earth if we are too tired.

And we also can’t do the work we are meant to do on this earth if we get lost in our relaxation.

The cool part? I guarantee Heavenly Father wants to help us find this balance.

I’m sure Alma prayed as he traveled back home to rest, and I’m sure he prayed for guidance when he knew it was time to continue his high priest duties.

So I’m trying better to include my Heavenly Father in my self-care habits – to know when I’m over-indulging, and to know when I’m over-stretched.

Alma knew how to say “no” and how to rest when he needed it – and I can learn how to set those necessary and divine boundaries, too.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Self-care guru Alma first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.