She knew that Kyle and I had been talking about getting engaged, and so she wanted to give me one piece of advice before we made that decision:

“Make sure you see Kyle get super stressed or angry about something, see how he responds to that pressure, and then make sure you are okay with his response.”

It was great advice, because admittedly, we had been kind of living a fairytale dating experience.

Yeah, we had seen each other deal with the minor stresses that came from college classes or everyday work situations, but we hadn’t seen how each of us responded to really big pressures yet.

But finally, the opportunity presented itself.

(Kyle— I’m so sorry if I unknowingly wished the big trial into existence for my own selfish purposes.  Haha!)

I saw how Kyle dealt with a huge, frustrating setback, one that took a hit on his ego.

And… I was totally cool with how he responded.

I saw how he worked through problems, how he handled big emotions, and how I could support him through tough times.

It was a great little confirmation that he would make a great choice for me as a spouse.

And I’m still happy with my decision all these years later, thank goodness! <3

When we read about Joseph’s reaction to seeing all of his brothers again after all these years, it can be difficult to figure out why he does what he does:

He accuses them of being spies, imprisons one brother, frames another, makes dramatic demands, and doesn’t want to give away who he truly is.

But to me, it looks like Joseph is just trying to see who his brothers really are after all these years.

Did they care at all about what they had done to Joseph? Had they repented? Did they love Benjamin? How were they treating his father?

A great way to find out who someone truly is, is to see how they respond to stress or pressure.

(For the record, I’m NOT advocating you go and create difficult times for everyone in your life in order to determine where their hearts are!)

But… isn’t that what God basically does to us?

He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains so that we can prove to Him, and to ourselves, what truly matters most to our hearts.

Who do we choose, even when times are tough?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  Pressure on our hearts first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But I’ve also got even more things to be grateful and joyful about!

I see this dichotomy going on inside myself:

So grateful for this chance to bring a third baby into the world when so many who long for this never get the opportunity.

Excited to have a little girl join our family who I know will add more dimension and joy.

Happy that my body has been able to stay fairly healthy thus far and that I’m still able to handle the bare necessities of my other responsibilities.

And then contrast all those feelings with…

Utter exhaustion. Having a shorter amount of patience with my two kids. Frustration that I’m not able to do everything I want to do. Pain. So much physical pain right now. Panic that I have so much to do before she comes. Fear that I’m not going to be able to handle three kids once she does come.

Just the other day, I sat down, exhausted, with my kids climbing all over me. One was asking for snacks, the other was crying for some reason I couldn’t figure out, they both ended up fighting over a toy, and then someone stubbed their toe and became inconsolable.

“Why?!” I pleaded in my mind, not specifically aimed at God, but I guess aimed at God.

“Why can’t you just give me a break? I need it so desperately! You know that!”

I had a cool answer come to my mind that made me laugh and not take the situation so seriously— it was EXACTLY what I needed to reframe my situation.

But I don’t think I’m alone in these two general feelings.

Sometimes, I’m like Joseph of Egypt, who could clearly see his trials for what they were:

“God meant it unto good”. (Genesis 50:20)

And other days, I’m more like Joseph’s brothers who blamed God for every poor circumstance they found themselves in:

“What is this that God hath done unto us?” (Genesis 42:28)

I think I’m going to give myself grace for the days that I feel like Joseph’s brothers.

I’m gonna pray a lot more, because boy, does God like to answer prayers in exactly the way I need them answered.

And I hope I can get better at sticking with Joseph of Egypt’s humble mindset.

It’s all for my good!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post All for my good first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.