I’ve noticed that as parents, it’s tempting to either want to brag about our kids, or complain about the difficult stuff.

But what if there was a different way to view our kids that didn’t involve us getting prideful and jealous, OR annoyed and demeaning?⁣

What if we viewed our children as holy individuals who we need to teach, and who we expect will make plenty of mistakes along the way as they learn?⁣

Of course, I’m not even close to the first person to suggest this. ⁣

The Lord reminded us in D&C 74:7:⁣

“Little children are holy”. ⁣

This certainly doesn’t meant that their actions are always holy. ⁣

But it does mean that they, their souls, who they really are, are holy. ⁣

They are literally protected from Satan’s influence. ⁣

Former Primary President, Joy D. Jones, once said:

“There is a uniquely special time in children’s lives when they are protected from Satan’s influence. ⁣

“It is a time when they are innocent and sin free. ⁣

“It is a sacred time for parent and child.”⁣

Now, this doesn’t mean that kids younger than 8 aren’t capable of doing something that they know is wrong. ⁣

I think any parent of a 3-year-old can tell you that. ⁣

But… they aren’t held accountable for them yet. ⁣

It flips the narrative on parenting just a bit, and I love what the repercussions are. ⁣

Yes, let’s share our kids’ amazing accomplishments and vent to a friend after a super frustrating day. ⁣

But let’s also help remind each other that our children are holy. ⁣

And we have a sacred responsibility to teach them in word and in deed. Setting positive examples and treating them with love. ⁣

These kids are holy, and they deserve our best.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Holy children  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

All 3 kids were excited to get started.

We were reading about Jesus visiting the Nephites and blessing the little children and looking at pictures.

“Why is Jesus crying?”

“No, it’s my turn to read, you just went!”

“There are angels!”

“Did Jesus create all the United States?”

“She’s making me laugh!”

“If we were there, we would have been part of that group of kids too!”

A little all over the place, which is pretty normal for a 2, 4, and 6 year old.

We did our best, and it was all good.

Then it was time for family prayer and all three kids wanted to pray.

So we literally had all 3 kids say the family prayer, one after the other.

It was chaotic but also so sweet.

Young kids are often a lot of work. Frustrating. Impatient. Constantly in need.⁣

But other times, I catch a glimpse of their pure and powerful spirits.

My kids are real people. They’ve got a full mortal life and a spiritual forever ahead of them.

And although they need to mature developmentally…⁣

They have faith now. ⁣

They have pure, simple faith. They believe Jesus really did visit the children of the Nephites with all their heart.

And I think that’s why Christ wept when He was with the little children. ⁣

His joy was full because of their great faith. ⁣

President Henry B. Eyring once shared that he felt frustrated with a son who was jumping on the bed. ⁣

He grabbed his son by his shoulders, and immediately the Spirit spoke to him:⁣

“You are holding a great person.”⁣

Children are not easy to raise. They are not always obedient, kind, and willing to share. They are not perfect in that sense. ⁣At all.

But they are perfect in their faith. ⁣

It is unwavering. It is pure. ⁣

And that is what filled Christ with such joy that He wept. ⁣

I like to reflect on whether or not I’ve lost that Christlike faith. If I’ve become just a touch too cynical or conditional or “realistic”.

I want my faith to become more childlike and pure, so that I can make my Savior’s joy full. ⁣

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post A glimpse into our family study  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

She’s recently learned how to read a whole bunch of words and is obsessed with trying to read anything she sees.

I had an article up on my computer that had the word “peacemaker” in the title.

Quin tried sounding out the word a few times and then asked me for help. (Those soft Cs are brutal!)

“Peacemaker”, I said.

“What’s a peacemaker?” she asked.

I was in the middle of getting work done while my other two little kiddos napped.

“Someone who brings peace,” I quickly said.

“What is peace?” she asked.

I heard the baby starting to stir. We had definitely talked about peace before, so I tried to think of the fastest way to explain it again.

“Peace is when we feel calm and quiet and happy,” I said.

“Oh, just like Jesus!” Quin said.

I finally realized what was going on and took my fingers off the keyboard.

Yes, we’ve been rocking family scripture study lately.

Yes, we’ve had lessons about peace.

Yes, she’s been to church and learned about peace.

But the real learning in my four year old’s brain was happening right here at the kitchen table on a Tuesday afternoon while I was trying to work.

I stopped what I was doing and we talked about peace. We talked about Jesus. She gave me examples of what brought her peace. We talked about being a peacemaker with her brother and examples of when she’s done that well.

Within five minutes, the conversation was over and I was soothing the baby.

Until the next day when she and her brother started fighting over a toy they both wanted.

I looked over to see her hand over the toy, find a different toy, and then offer to trade him a few minutes later.

The word “peacemaker” came to my mind.

I called her over, complimented her, and we had a quick little conversation about peace again.

And we’ve talked about it like five more times since then.

Teaching like that honestly takes some patience, vision, and even a bit of courage to start.

But real learning happens best in real life.

“Teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (Deuteronomy 6:7)

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Teaching at my table first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

It’s actually super cute.

Anytime he sits down at the table, no matter what time of day it is or what he’s doing at the table, he insists that we all say a prayer.

Or if he catches me folding my arms in any casual situations, he insists that we stop and say a prayer.

Of course, I can’t say no to a prayer, so we are saying a lot of short and sweet prayers nowadays.

But my 4 year old is starting to get to the point where she doesn’t just do things because mom and dad tell her to.

She wants to know WHY we are doing them.

And so as we’ve worked to develop our family habits of praying and reading the scriptures together, I’ve started trying to be more conscious in how I talk about these habits.

Instead of: “It’s time to read and pray before we go to bed.”

I’ve been trying to do more of: “It’s time to read scriptures so that we can learn more about Jesus!”

I was actually pleasantly surprised to see how explicitly the Lord tries to teach this to the Israelites, too!

After He taught them about repeating the Passover ordinance each year, He says in Exodus 12:26-27:

“And it shall come to pass, when your children shall say unto you, What mean ye by this service? That ye shall say, It is the sacrifice of the Lord’s passover, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses.”

The Lord wanted the people to not just celebrate the Passover each year after this first initial miracle–

He wanted His people to teach their children WHY they were repeating this Passover ordinance and celebration.

It can be so easy to get caught up in just trying to get our kids to cooperate in saying prayers, in staying quiet at church, in paying tithing, in setting goals, in serving and showing kindness…

But the Lord wants us to also teach the WHY.

Why do YOU try to be reverent at church? Why do YOU say prayers, and pay tithing, and attend the temple?

When we can share our own testimonies and our own “why”s with our kids, we are sharing our hearts and truly teaching our values in authentic ways.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Teach the WHY first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I was paying attention… then I zoned out.

And then he finished the training.

“Any questions?”

Purely to protect my pride, I said “Nope, that all sounds great!”

But I had no clue what to do for most of the tasks.

I’ve found this dichotomy interesting to reflect on:

My supervisor did exactly what he was supposed to do.

He taught me everything. He was very kind.

But I had completely disengaged as a learner, and it was reflected in how much help I needed the first few days of the job.

Had he failed his training because I struggled?

I don’t think so.

A lot of emotions run through my mind when I read this statement in the Family: A Proclamation to the World:

“Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

But one thing I’ve been focused on is:

The effectiveness of my teaching is not always reflected in how well the students learn.

Both the teacher and the learner need to be willing in order for true understanding to occur.

This doesn’t excuse poor or half-hearted teaching, but it takes our complete dependence on results in order to evaluate the effectiveness of teaching.

We, as parents, are asked to teach our children how to love, to serve, to work hard, and to keep the commandments.

Not to make them be loving, service-filled, hard-working, commandment-keepers.

We have a solemn responsibility to teach as well as we possibly can, pleading with the Lord to know exactly what our children might need from us.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post We can teach but not force learning first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

What would be gone if every child was raised with this knowledge?

Maybe hatred would disappear.

Maybe competition and jealousy.

Maybe self-loathing and criticism.

I know this won’t happen right now.

But I can control what my children learn.

How might they behave differently with this knowledge in their life?

Quin is a natural leader and quite brilliant.

I can see a future where she understands her divine destiny, as well as everyone else’s, and she teaches and leads with love and kindness.

Barrett loves to make people laugh and handles any vision impairment with naive bliss.

I can see a future where he understands who he really is, and uses humor to set a powerful example of being confident before others and the Lord.

Now who knows the path their life will really take, or the decisions that my kids will make, but I want to do my absolute best to ground them in this beautiful knowledge that I think can transform the world.

“Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” -The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Do we teach this clearly enough to every young person we come in contact with?

Do WE believe it?

When we know that we have Heavenly Parents who love us, when we REALLY know this, I think we can change the world one person at a time.

Feeling loved and feeling important can change anyone.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Beloved children of heavenly parents first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I started having a conversation with someone and I really wanted to know how she was doing…

And then my little boy crawled out of sight and I had to run after him.

I saw a new family at our linger longer after church that I wanted to get to know better.

And every single time I started walking their way, one of my kids desperately needed my urgent attention. And then the family got up and left.

I started catching up with another friend I hadn’t seen in a while.

And then I had to go stop by kid who was trying to climb all over the organ in the chapel.

I wanted to be friendly. I wanted to meet new people. To connect. To show love.

And my kids kept distracting me and throwing obstacle after obstacle my way.

I honestly left church feeling pretty bummed out.

I kept praying for a new perspective and some clarity all afternoon.

Eventually, the spirit brought two things to my mind.

First, I remembered the different uplifting interactions I had with people BECAUSE my kids were being a little crazy.

New friendships being made. Other people serving ME.

And secondly, the spirit brought to my mind this scripture, that I had already been pondering as one of my favorites from this Come, Follow Me week:

“Out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” D&C 64:33

I felt like I missed out on some great things at church yesterday.

Because I was instead stuck doing a bunch of little, insignificant things.

Pulling out a Jesus book to distract, opening another pack of fruit snacks, pulling a hand away from a cord, picking up the kid trying to lick the A/C vent (again), picking up the goldfish, talking out of a meltdown, teaching about reverence in the chapel that seemed to go in one ear and out the other…

I did a lot of small things.

But I did them for two little kids that I love. Because they are so so so little. And right now, they need the fruit snacks. They need the carrying. They need the teaching. They need the constant attention.

And all of these small, little things…

Comes all the REALLY great stuff.

Seriously, these kids are going to be amazing grownups. I can tell already.

And because I will become greater as I step into my role as their mother.

Parenthood is doing a lot of the small stuff. The diaper changes, wiping up the spill, giving a hug, over and over.

Small stuff. All day, every day.

But it’s out of these small things.

The songs sung during the diaper change, the invitation to help mommy clean up the spill, the loving smile and little tickle when I give the hug.

Out of these small things proceedeth that which is great.

Artwork by Megan Lindsey, @huesandbluesart

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Small things at church first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

In fact there are many days where she is the one to remind us to do it before she goes to bed!

Just last night, we were reading about Jesus appearing to the Nephites, and she stopped and said, “Mommy, Jesus was really happy and really nice.”

So sweet.

And then we knelt down to pray, and after months and months of family prayers where she runs around and jumps on the beanbag and talks while we are trying to get her to stay reverent and still…

She closed her eyes the entire time. (I may have peeked while my husband was praying a few times because I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing! Whoops.)

She was reverent and stayed on her knees, not moving a muscle during the prayer, and then gave me a big hug before going upstairs with daddy.

And my heart was filled with joy.

2-year-olds are often a lot of work. Frustrating. Impatient. Constantly in need.

But other times, I catch a glimpse of her pure and powerful Spirit.

She’s a real person. She’s got a full mortal life and a spiritual forever ahead of her.

And although she needs to mature developmentally…

She has faith now.

She has pure, simple faith, without a touch of Satan’s pull.

And I think that’s why Christ wept when he was with the little children.

His joy was full because of their great faith.

President Henry B. Eyring once shared that he felt frustrated with a son who was jumping on the bed.

He grabbed his son by his shoulders, and immediately the Spirit spoke to him:

“You are holding a great person.”

Children are not easy to raise. They are not always obedient, kind, and willing to share. They are not perfect in that sense.

But they are perfect in their faith.

It is unwavering. It is pure.

And that is what filled Christ with such joy that he wept.

I like to reflect on whether or not I’ve lost that Christlike faith. If I’ve become just a touch too cynical or conditional.

I want my faith to become more childlike and pure, so that I can make my Savior’s joy full.

Artwork by Gary L. Kapp

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Behold your little ones first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.