(I believe the BYU SSA club has since changed its name.)

It was for an assignment in my multicultural education class.

The assignment? Go somewhere that put you in the minority and made you uncomfortable.

Some of my friends attended a Catholic mass, but I felt pulled to go to this club meeting for students experiencing same sex attraction while at BYU.

And boy, was I uncomfortable when I first walked in that room. I felt like I was somewhere that I didn’t belong.

But I knew that was the purpose of the assignment. I was supposed to feel out of place.

And then the meeting started. And the Spirit of God filled that room.

And I do not say that lightly.

The people in the room emanated true Christlike love.

They shared openly, honestly, and courageously about the things they had been struggling with.

They talked about their wrestles with the Lord. They talked about their wins and successes. They talked about temptations and deep, serious trials. They cried. They laughed.

And I cried and laughed along with them.

My heart was filled with pure, powerful, Christlike love for every person in that room.

I felt guilty that I had ever felt uncomfortable, but it gave me just a minuscule glimpse at what these children of God had been experiencing every single day for years.

I didn’t know how much my heart needed to be in that meeting.

That was me, unknowingly at the time and under the guise of a school assignment, doing just a small portion of the real work it takes to be a true Christian.

I went in very uncomfortable.

And I left as a friend who continued to be an ally and an advocate.

It’s been a while though since I sat in that meeting, and I think I need to be uncomfortable more often. I need to grow in my love and service, which means getting out of my stagnant comfort zone.

And this is why Elder Holland’s talk stuck with me.

I need to stop putting the ultimate prize on being comfortable, and start focusing on being uncomfortable in order to become more Christlike.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Christianity is uncomfortable first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

No one likes feeling like a project.

We all want to matter to other people in real ways, which makes fake friendships or an obvious “project-status” especially harmful.

Before your mind starts to fill with anger or resentment toward others as you remember past grievances, I encourage you to use the “Lord, is it I?” mindset.

Do we sometimes treat others just like an assignment?

Do we avoid the vulnerability of “real” for the comfort of “safe”?

Jesus Christ, of course, taught the perfect example of this.

First, he instructed the Nephites that if someone isn’t worthy, they should not be partaking of the sacrament anymore.

(A command that always seemed harsh to me until I realized that “being damned” is less about a curse from an ruthless God and instead a natural consequence of stopping our own progression.)

But then, Jesus tells his disciples to never cast out those who have become unworthy.

Instead?

“Ye shall minister unto him and shall pray for him”. (3 Nephi 18:30)

So how do we accomplish this without making someone feel like a project?

This is something I’ve been working on for a while – developing and showing true, authentic love.

And something that I’ve only been able to do by seeing beautiful examples from other women that I look up to. What they’ve taught me?

Listen much more than we talk.

Most people just want someone to connect with, and connection comes through conversation and shared experiences.

And when I listen to a sister who has lived a very different path than I have, and I listen and pray and listen some more…

I am filled with the true love of God towards them.

Some people aren’t ready to open up and talk yet, which means finding small ways to show them I care and remember them.

But at the end of the day, we all crave true connection.

So I challenge you to reflect today: How can I become more authentic in my relationships with others?

How can I show love, no matter what they choose to do?

Happy Studying!

– Cali Black

The post More than a project first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.