“I’m reading my scriptures each day, so why am I still struggling to be patient with my kids?”⁣

“I followed that very specific prompting, so why did that friend start pulling away from me?”⁣

I’ve thought these questions, and many more like them, at various points in my life.⁣

Basically, they are all a form of:⁣

If I’m being loyal to God, why aren’t the circumstances of my life awesome?⁣

The Israelites were really good at looking at their outside circumstances. ⁣

And when they looked at what they had physically been through… boy, was there a lot to complain about. ⁣

“Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness!… were it not better for us to return into Egypt?” (Numbers 14:2-3) ⁣

They had endured so much since leaving Egypt, so wouldn’t it have been better to just endure the hard things they had to face in Egypt?!⁣

Why did life seem to be getting harder and more difficult, even though they were following the Lord and the prophet? ⁣

Oh children of Israel, I can relate to that question. ⁣

And this is why I love studying the scriptures. ⁣

Because from far away, I can see the answer that the Lord wanted to teach the Israelites. ⁣

It seems crystal clear and obvious. ⁣

And then I go… “Oh yeah. Duh. He’s doing the same thing in my life, too.”⁣

God doesn’t want us to measure the success of our life by our circumstances. ⁣

He never has, in Old Testament times, New Testament times, Book of Mormon times, and modern times. ⁣

So why would I think my life would be the exception?⁣

Boom. I love studying the scriptures for this exact reason. I see the PATTERNS the Lord has worked with for centuries. ⁣

Why does the Lord care if we keep His commandments with sincere intent?⁣

Because He cares about the journeys that our hearts take. ⁣

Are we becoming more devoted? More dependent? More likely to align our will to His?⁣

That’s what a successful disciple’s life has looked like, dispensation after dispensation. ⁣

He wants to see where our hearts go and what they become.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Better to stay in Egypt!  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But I am so grateful for the few glimpses we get into how Lehi and Sariah interacted!

Sariah started complaining and murmuring that her sons were probably killed in the wilderness.

She couldn’t believe she trusted her “visionary” husband.⁣

She blamed her husband for her trials.

And I completely understand where Sariah was coming from–

I have blamed my husband for much more minor offenses than forcing us to leave our home and losing our children.

After Sariah complained, but before her sons returned, we see how Lehi responded:

He reaffirmed the truth of the visions he had.

And then he comforted her.

“And after this manner of language did my father, Lehi, comfort my mother, Sariah, concerning us  . . . .” (1 Nephi 5:6)

Lehi comforted his grieving and frustrated wife.

Pointing fingers in a marriage (or any relationship) is easy.

But often, what we all need is just comfort.

Despite our weaknesses, we want to know that we are loved and cared for.

Jesus did this a lot.

He comforted and mourned with those who were distraught.

And it’s a great pattern for each of us to try to emulate just a little bit better.

To try to show love in a mortal world where it is so easy to criticize.

To take off the judgmental lenses and embrace the child of God.

Great relationships involve showing comfort and love, especially when we are the most vulnerable.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Sariah complains  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But I’ve also got even more things to be grateful and joyful about!

I see this dichotomy going on inside myself:

So grateful for this chance to bring a third baby into the world when so many who long for this never get the opportunity.

Excited to have a little girl join our family who I know will add more dimension and joy.

Happy that my body has been able to stay fairly healthy thus far and that I’m still able to handle the bare necessities of my other responsibilities.

And then contrast all those feelings with…

Utter exhaustion. Having a shorter amount of patience with my two kids. Frustration that I’m not able to do everything I want to do. Pain. So much physical pain right now. Panic that I have so much to do before she comes. Fear that I’m not going to be able to handle three kids once she does come.

Just the other day, I sat down, exhausted, with my kids climbing all over me. One was asking for snacks, the other was crying for some reason I couldn’t figure out, they both ended up fighting over a toy, and then someone stubbed their toe and became inconsolable.

“Why?!” I pleaded in my mind, not specifically aimed at God, but I guess aimed at God.

“Why can’t you just give me a break? I need it so desperately! You know that!”

I had a cool answer come to my mind that made me laugh and not take the situation so seriously— it was EXACTLY what I needed to reframe my situation.

But I don’t think I’m alone in these two general feelings.

Sometimes, I’m like Joseph of Egypt, who could clearly see his trials for what they were:

“God meant it unto good”. (Genesis 50:20)

And other days, I’m more like Joseph’s brothers who blamed God for every poor circumstance they found themselves in:

“What is this that God hath done unto us?” (Genesis 42:28)

I think I’m going to give myself grace for the days that I feel like Joseph’s brothers.

I’m gonna pray a lot more, because boy, does God like to answer prayers in exactly the way I need them answered.

And I hope I can get better at sticking with Joseph of Egypt’s humble mindset.

It’s all for my good!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post All for my good first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

A lot.

And even when I try not to complain, I find myself…

Complaining.

I talk with a friend and then realize we just complained the whole time.

I talk with my husband and realize I just complained about everything that went wrong that day.

I think the adversary really wants us to wallow in complaining – and he’s good at it.

He wants us to exaggerate all the bad that’s happening.

To point out how our experiences are lacking.

To compare in order to make it seem like we “have it worse” than the people around us.

I’ve had a rough week.

And I complained a lot.

I complained a lot to God. My prayers were mostly complaining. Asking for help to stop complaining and for a better attitude, but then not doing much to change anything.

I think of my Savior.

My beautiful, light-filled Savior.

Experiencing injustice after terrible circumstance after false accusation.

And still spreading light and joy. And peace and hope.

I think there is some value in a little “vent” session. I don’t want to emanate false positivity. I want to connect with others and empathize.

But I know when I’ve gone a little too far down in the mud.

I want to share more love. More light. More hope.

Life is tough.

But that doesn’t mean that life is bad.

I don’t think God wants us to walk around on this beautiful earth in our beautiful bodies with other beautiful souls… and just murmur.

And I think that might be the key to the slow, painful process of removing complaining from my life –

Gratitude.

Fill it up with so much gratitude that there isn’t room for much else.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Complaining and murmuring first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.