It’s common to hear: “Don’t judge others”.

And I agree with that 100%.

We have absolutely no business judging others.

But we still need to judge.

I can see someone making a choice with what they are doing on the Sabbath day.

And I can think, “Hmmmm. I don’t think that represents the sign that I want to give to my Heavenly Father on the Sabbath.

“That’s not something I will choose to do on Sundays.”

And it has nothing to do with my feelings about that other person.

I may not know the whole story of why they made that choice; that choice may have actually been right for them in their circumstance; they might be struggling with their testimony… It’s not my business to know it all.

I can still feel so much love for them.

And make the judgement call about MY behavior.

I can repeat this over and over with different examples, like choosing when to wear garments, choosing different political candidates, choosing how to fulfill callings, etc.

It’s so easy to go too far in the wrong direction.

To see someone making a choice and then judging them, harboring bad feelings, and thinking that we know better.

Alma counseled his son to “judge righteously”. (Alma 41:14)

And modern leaders have echoed with similar messages:

“We are to judge righteously, never self-righteously, never unrighteously.” – Jeffrey R. Holland

Judging righteously is focused completely on ourselves and our own relationship with God.

It’s taking in information from the examples around us, observing the fruits of others’ labors, dealing with the results of other people’s choices.

And then using that information to refine our own actions, desires, and motivations.

We have to judge.

But we do not judge others.

We just get to love.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  I judge first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“If you were accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?”

I had been thinking about how Alma counseled that in the next life, everyone will “partake of the fruits of their labors or their works”. (Alma 40:26)

And it made me think:⁣

What am I laboring in right now?⁣

Would I be able to be clearly labeled as a Christian if someone was scrutinizing my life?⁣

I mean, yeah, I’ve got pictures of Jesus Christ in my home and I attend church each Sunday…

But I think the real conviction comes from how I conduct myself and interact with others. ⁣

Do I reflect Christ in my day-to-day living?⁣

When the restaurant forgets my order and it takes another 30 minutes? ⁣

When my toddler has a meltdown because she didn’t get to eat the crouton she wanted? ⁣

When I’m feeling left out from activities with friends?⁣

Do I still behave as a Christian would?⁣

Not that we know the clear, exact way Christ would handle any of those situations.

… But there are clear ways in which I deviate from the examples He showed. ⁣

And then, other times, I feel my entire will being melded with His. ⁣

When a gossipy conversation arrives, and I quietly excuse myself. ⁣

When I react to a tough situation with love and grace, instead of impatience and anger. ⁣

When I teach my kids about Jesus.

My labors are good. ⁣

Which means my fruit will be good. ⁣

But I know I can work on making my labors even better. ⁣

So everyone I interact with will know that I have a special relationship with my Savior.

Even if we never talk religion. ⁣

I hope that I can be the most obvious Christian.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post If I were accused… first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Alma knows all about repentance.

He’s an expert.

He also knows that his son has taken a detour from the iron rod.

And he wants to encourage Corianton to make it back and partake of God’s love. ⁣

”Now my son, I would that ye should repent and forsake your sins.” (Alma 39:9)

And Alma knows Corianton can do this.

Why?

Because Alma himself made that same difficult journey of repentance years ago.

But one thing Alma didn’t know?

He didn’t know that this conversation would be a positive turning point in Corianton’s life.

He didn’t know that Corianton would eventually travel the land with his brothers for many years preaching the gospel and baptizing many.

⁣Alma was the perfect father for Corianton.

⁣Two strong men who showed examples of not letting the lowest points in their lives define them.

“None of us should be defined only by the worst thing we have ever done.” -Kevin R. Duncan

They both used that Godly guilt and pain to push themselves into repentance and rededication. ⁣

Like father, like son. ⁣

And boy, am I grateful I don’t have to be defined by my worst decisions either.

My past does not need to be my label, my definition, or my eternal judgment sentence.

All thanks to Jesus Christ.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The perfect father first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

That sounds kinda weird, right?!

But as an imperfect person, I make mistakes and commit sins pretty regularly.

Alma taught his son Corianton, “let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.” (Alma 42:29)

Guilt is a GIFT.

Because it tells us, like physical pain, that we need to change.

It leads us to repentance.

Because, on the other hand, when we ignore or suppress guilt, when we try to keep it a secret even from ourselves, we turn those not-so-amazing feelings of guilt into SHAME.

Recently, I had the thought to text a friend and check up on her.

But I didn’t follow through on that prompting.

And I felt guilty.

But I tried to push that guilt aside and just ignore it.

I wasn’t even rationalizing my way out of the prompting – I was just ignoring it.

And it felt terrible.

The thoughts would come up to text the friend again, and I would feel all this shame for not following through on it the first time around. “Ugh, I’m just terrible at following promptings!” And I would push that feeling down again.

And I didn’t even do this consciously, because I know this guilt vs. shame concept very well.

But I couldn’t stop the cycle in myself.

Until, finally, clarity. (Thank GOODNESS for a patient and loving God.)

I finally allowed myself to feel guilty about not texting my friend.

It was not comfortable, but this time, it pushed me toward change.

I offered a quick prayer. And then I texted my friend.

Boom.

Bad feelings gone, and I had improved.

Shame keeps us victims of that same sin over and over again.

And guilt moves us to repentance and change.

I am so grateful for guilt.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Grateful for guilt first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I was speaking with a friend, and the conversation got a little heated.

I thought that I was doing the right thing in the way I acted and the things I said, but it threw a huge wedge between us.

Over the next couple of years, I matured a lot and discovered why I had reacted completely inappropriately.

I was mortified at what I had done, and vowed to improve my communication skills.

I became so much better at communicating to everyone I came in contact with, with feeling clean emotions instead of hiding my true feelings…

I had totally changed.

I knew I had been so wrong, and now I had repented and become so much better.

And then, one day, a few years later, I was speaking to that same friend.

The same topic came up that we had previously argued about, but this time I handled it with maturity and finesse.

And then I mentioned, “I’m so glad we can talk about this now, because I was so immature with how I responded the last time we had this conversation!”

And my friend said, “Really? I didn’t know you felt that way!” And a big sigh of relief crossed their face.

My friend had NO IDEA that I was thoroughly embarrassed for how I had acted before.

They had NO CLUE that I had worked on self-development and pled with the Lord to repent for my pride and stubbornness.

In their mind, I did what I did, I thought I was right, and I still held a grudge against them for that conversation.

Part of repentance means communicating with the people you have wronged.

And it’s a step I skip far too often, mostly on accident, to be honest.

Alma implored Corianton to turn his heart to the Lord, and then return and apologize to the Zoramites that he had led astray.

We don’t get any record of what Corianton did, but since he lived such a righteous life for the rest of his days, I’m assuming he swallowed his pride and took his father’s advice – speaking to all of the Zoramites he had wronged or offended.

Only the Savior can truly take away the sting of sin, but we need to do our part to ease the burden.

Return, and acknowledge.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Forgetting to ASK for forgiveness first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Let’s use the “big picture” context to add all the layers of meaning here.

Alma, also referred to as “Alma the Younger” got his start running around with friends and trying to destroy the church that his dad had set up in the land.

An angel came because of his dad’s pleadings. Alma experienced a miraculous conversion.

He traveled the land, going from city to city, preaching the word and baptizing many.

His heart turned to God, and he brought many others to the knowledge of their God, too.

Alma later has a son named Corianton.

Alma brought Corianton on a special mission to the Zoramites, but instead of sharing his testimony, Corianton was filled with pride and boasting.

Corianton committed grievous sins with a woman while on his mission.

Alma spoke to Corianton about his sins.

Corianton traveled the land with his brothers, preaching the gospel and baptizing many, and serving for years.

Zooming back in to the portion of the story in Alma 39-42, we see a former sinner-turned-into-a-powerful-man filled with service and love, speaking to a current sinner.

Alma doesn’t know how Corianton will “turn out” yet. Corianton doesn’t know what his future will hold.

But Alma knows that even though Corianton has taken a detour from that Iron Rod, he can make it back and partake of God’s love.

And he knows Corianton can do this because he made that same difficult-but-totally-possible journey of repentance years ago.

Alma was the perfect father for Corianton.

Two strong men who showed examples of not letting the lowest points in their lives define them. Using that guilt and pain to push themselves into repentance and rededication.

Like father, like son.

And boy, am I grateful I don’t have to be defined by my worst decisions, either. I allow the Spirit to move me forward toward peace, love, forgiveness, and repentance.

My past does not need to be my label, my definition, or my eternal judgment sentence.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Changing and redefining our lives first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.