Because the adversary wants us to believe that if we forgive someone, we have said that what they did was okay, and that we are releasing them from all their consequences. ⁣

But that is just not true.⁣

Long after Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave, they were almost shocked to discover that Joseph had forgiven them. ⁣

Even YEARS later, after their father Jacob died, the brothers were afraid that Joseph had just been putting on an act for their dad.⁣

And that now he would retaliate. ⁣

Because who would actually forgive their brothers for doing something like they had done? ⁣

But Joseph dismissed their groveling after their father had died and said:⁣

“Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.” ⁣(Genesis 50:21)

Can you imagine forgiving family members for saying terrible things about you, physically harming you, devaluing you, and literally removing you from the family for 22 years? ⁣

And yet, Joseph forgave. ⁣

That didn’t change how wrong the brothers had been.⁣

And it didn’t affect any divine consequences that our perfect Judge would dole out. ⁣

But it gave Joseph joy and peace. ⁣

We don’t know how much Joseph interacted with his brothers after they all moved to Egypt. ⁣

Maybe Joseph had strong boundaries with certain brothers, and kept a respectful distance. ⁣

Maybe Joseph felt prompted to fully embrace them and let them into his life. ⁣

But his words at the end of Genesis tell us that he was ready to comfort and nourish them as needed. ⁣

The adversary is so good at feeding us lies about forgiving those who have wronged us, even in very serious degrees. ⁣

But the Savior commands us all to forgive.⁣

Why? To find that internal peace, and truly turn it all over to God.

When have you seen blessings from forgiveness in your life?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Unimaginable forgiveness  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“Your son has been severely injured in a car accident. We’ve got him and are taking him to the hospital.”⁣

The next few weeks of her family’s lives were overwhelmed with hospital visits, prayers, and uncertainty.⁣

But her community rallied around her family with constant meals, support, random treats, and love.⁣

The young man started to recover.⁣

And then suddenly, the truth came out.⁣

He had caused the accident. ⁣

He had been using his cell phone and lost control. ⁣

The facts of the situation were still the same. ⁣

A mother overwhelmed with grief and fear that she might lose her son; a family dealing with living life partially at home and partially in a hospital bed; a stream of prayers for his recovery. ⁣

But her community had to make a decision. ⁣

Would knowing that he caused his own problem due to great neglect change how they would support the family?⁣

Luckily, that answer was a resounding NO.⁣

In D&C 101:9, the Lord teaches: ⁣

“Verily I say unto you, notwithstanding their sins, my bowels are filled with compassion towards them. I will not utterly cast them off; and in the day of wrath I will remember mercy.”⁣

Notwithstanding their sins. ⁣

Their sins were to blame for the situation. ⁣

And yet that still didn’t stop the Lord from being filled with compassion for them. ⁣

And that’s how I believe God is with us, too. ⁣

He isn’t only giving us His compassion and goodness if we have been perfect, not causing any of the issues we have to deal with in life. ⁣

He knows that we make decisions all the time that make life harder for ourselves. ⁣

We cause so much disconnect, jealousy, pride, anger, contention. ⁣

And yet He will still have compassion for us. ⁣

He will not leave us comfortless, even if we are to blame for the discomfort in the first place. ⁣

Mercy reigns.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The car accident  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

It wasn’t until she walked away that I realized… this was not what I had ordered. ⁣

I had ordered a burger. ⁣

Ugh. I knew what this meant.⁣

I sat there and silently gave myself the pep talk that I knew I needed.⁣

I saw the waitress serving a few tables away, and she wasn’t walking anywhere near me. ⁣

Finally she got close enough and I waved her over. ⁣

“Excuse me! I am so sorry, but I ordered a burger, so I think I got the wrong order.”⁣

I seriously felt so rude, even though I knew I was technically saying nice words. ⁣

I was just so uncomfortable about asking for something and disrupting the normal flow of a server/customer dynamic. ⁣

“Oh, you are totally right!” She quickly said. ⁣

“You can actually go ahead and keep that sandwich, and I’ll be out with your burger in just a minute.” ⁣

In D&C 90:1, the Lord is giving a revelation to Joseph Smith, and he starts by saying: ⁣

“Verily, verily I say unto you my son, thy sins are forgiven thee, according to thy petition, for thy prayers and the prayers of thy brethren have come up into my ears.”⁣⁣

Did you catch what the Lord said that Joseph had been doing?⁣

Joseph had been petitioning the Lord in prayer for forgiveness from his sins. ⁣

I know that I fall victim to sinning, feeling remorse, and wanting to improve without ever actually asking my Father in Heaven for forgiveness.⁣

But it’s not rude to ask. ⁣

It’s not pretentious. ⁣

It’s just good communication and a necessary part of creating a good, honest relationship. ⁣

When we need something, we have to ask.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Wrong order! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” (D&C 58:42)

It seems like an exaggeration, right?

But… what if He really does forget my sin because I am no longer the person who sinned?

When I am truly and fully repenting with my whole heart and soul, I am actually changing.

I am becoming a new person.

There has been a shift in who I am and what I want.

And so my perfect Heavenly Father isn’t going to hold something over my head that I no longer am!

That is the true beauty of repentance.

When I sincerely and humbly decide that I am ready to become a more spiritually mature individual, then I can.

This is only because my Savior already paid the price of justice.

Through His suffering, I am free to change!

I can use His power to mold and mend who I am, so judging me based on my past seems completely irrelevant.

Sometimes, I have a harder time forgetting those sins myself.

But it is so freeing to realize that if I am repenting the best I can, there is no point in beating myself up over past mistakes because I am no longer that person.

I am someone who is more Christlike, someone with a softer heart, and someone who is changed forever!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post A fresh perspective on repentance first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

The first time I heard this question, it made my heart drop a bit.

I mean, I want my home filled with peace and love.

I want everyone to be kind.

I want smooth routines.

I want a clean kitchen before I go to bed. (Most of the time…)

But am I accidentally sending messages to my family members:

“You better not have any sins or weaknesses that rock the boat!”

Life is messy.

My kids need to be able to make mistakes.

My husband needs to be able to have a bad day.

I need to battle my weaknesses.

So, is my home a safe place for all this messiness?

Does everyone feel like they are allowed to change?

Is forgiveness modeled?

Is repentance openly embraced?

The Lord taught Oliver and David exactly what His perspective is:

“And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.” (D&C 18:12)

The Lord is joyful when He hears that we want to change!

He allows us to feel the consequences of our actions and learn from our mistakes, but He is ready to look forward.

So, am I creating an environment where I can model this exact approach to repentance and forgiveness in my home?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Safe to change first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Does that phrase (or a variation of it) find a place in your prayers right now?⁣

The past year or so, I’ve really been focused on removing this in my prayers. ⁣

I’ve been trying to avoid casual asks for forgiveness from sweeping generalizations of “weaknesses” and “sins”.⁣

I was really struck by the in-depth sincerity with which young Joseph prayed to a loving Heavenly Father in his bedroom. ⁣

“I betook myself to prayer and supplication to Almighty God for forgiveness of all my sins and follies.” (JSH 1:29)⁣

He was in his bedroom, weighed down by the sins he was committing, and asking for forgiveness. ⁣

It wasn’t an add-on to a prayer he was already going to say.

That WAS the prayer.

Pleading. Calling. ⁣

Thinking through each sin. ⁣

I personally have found exponentially more power and access to my Savior’s atoning sacrifice when I take time to be specific and to reflect. ⁣

Instead of, “Please forgive me for my weaknesses today.”

My prayers have transformed as I’ve transitioned to:⁣

“I am so sorry that I lost my patience earlier today. I knew that my daughter was in a stressful situation and I was putting my needs before hers. Please forgive me for this shortcoming, and help me to improve my patience and love for her. What does my daughter need? What could I do to help her? Hmmm… I think that next time this situation happens again, I can try…”⁣

So much more useful, right?!⁣

I find myself starting a real conversation.

I find myself listening to promptings.

I find myself pleading for true forgiveness instead of just saying it. ⁣

And ultimately, I’ve found myself changing much more!⁣

Which is the point of repentance – that we feel Godly remorse, turn to our Savior, and truly and sincerely try not to repeat it again. ⁣

Have you tried making this change before? Do you want to try it now?⁣

Make those prayers of forgiveness heavy, real, and specific…⁣

And I believe true miracles can come from this sincerity of heart.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post I’ve taken this out of my prayers first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” (D&C 1:31⁣)

Of course not. ⁣

Because immediately after telling us this in verse 31, the Lord gives us the most tender, personal, and hopeful principle in verse 32:⁣

“Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven;”⁣

Sometimes I wonder, “How am I ever going to be good enough?”⁣

I’m repenting of the same things over and over. ⁣

I’m trying to figure out a life filled with messy relationships in the most Christlike way that I can. ⁣

I’m trying to do what’s right, and I keep falling short. ⁣

But when I’m in the scriptures, I feel these tender little reminders often:⁣

“You are good enough.”⁣

“You are trying.”⁣

“You are keeping the commandments the best you can.”⁣

“You are trying to change every day.”⁣

I write these statements in the margins of my scriptures pretty often, because I think the Spirit needs me to remember these often. ⁣

I will make mistakes. I will fall short. ⁣

But all that I need to do in order to enter the presence of the Lord…⁣

All that I need to do in order to be in the presence of my God and Savior…⁣

Is to just try. ⁣

To keep the commandments. ⁣

And when I fall short – I just have to want to sincerely change. ⁣

And that’s it. ⁣

It’s difficult. And it’s a lifelong process – no matter how long we’ve got here on earth. ⁣

But to be able to dwell in the presence of my God?⁣

I’ll keep going.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post No sign of sin anywhere! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

My friend stopped talking to me. ⁣

She hung out with new people at lunch and recess for a few days.

For a kid in elementary school, this was a big deal. ⁣

I felt really badly about what I had done, but I also didn’t know what to do about it.

Well, my mom found out what happened. ⁣

We talked about how I hadn’t been kind.

My mom made me write an apology letter, and we walked over to this friend’s house with my letter and a treat in my hand. ⁣

While I waited for my friend to answer the door, I realized how awkward this was going to be.

I felt this pressure in my chest.

What was my mom making me do?!

My friend answered the door.

I handed her the letter and treat, said that I was sorry, and then my mom and I walked back home. ⁣

I felt better.

I mean, yeah, it had been pretty awkward, but it felt really good to finally confront the problem instead of running away from it.

That was distinctly the first time I remember the freeing power of repentance. ⁣

After my sin, I had felt that weight of guilt.

And that guilt was amplified by a million when my mom made me actually face my friend and apologize.

It felt uncomfortable to face someone and admit that I was wrong. ⁣

But that freeing feeling afterwards?!

THAT was worth it. ⁣

And I’ve felt that over and over again as I’ve matured and worked through my relationship with my Savior.

That weight of guilt when I sin is so heavy. ⁣

And I know that it’s going to get even heavier when I go to repent. The pressure gets even higher because I’m actually facing what I did wrong. ⁣

But once I face that pressure, and give my soul over to my Savior, I feel that relief.

And I’ve learned turning to the Savior is really an essential step of the forgiveness process that changes my heart in permanent ways.

“My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more.” (Mosiah 27:29)

No matter the size of the sin, that weight can be gone.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post No friend at recess first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“None of us should be defined only by the worst thing we have ever done.” – Kevin R. Duncan

Other than not fully understanding Christ’s atoning power in our lives, this becomes a problem because we view ourselves as an imposter of some kind. ⁣

“If only they knew…”⁣

“I’m different than everyone else…”

Which leads us to separate ourselves even more from our family, friends, and ward members!

And to separate ourselves from Jesus Christ.

And then why do we sometimes do this to others?⁣

We happen to know of a big sin they committed, and we silently judge them as we see their social media pictures, because they were “that one kid in high school who…”⁣

We know of a difficult life circumstance they had to endure, and we thoughtlessly label them as “that girl who had to return early from her mission…” or “the divorced guy…”

I like to think of Paul. ⁣

Did anyone else just get EXHAUSTED reading about all his traveling and preaching?!

This missionary was on fire!⁣

And then, he gives a beautiful farewell speech to his brethren in Acts 20:18-35.

(I highly recommend you reread that speech again.)⁣

He talks about serving the Lord boldly. ⁣

He talks about never coveting what other men have. ⁣

He talks about being led by the Holy Ghost to preach of Christ. ⁣

And then his brethren weep, fall on him, and kiss him because they do not want him to go away. ⁣

And Paul emotionally closes:

“But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.” (Acts 20:24)

Does this sound like Paul is thinking about his not-so-shiny days as the Pharisee, stoning Christians to death?

Does this sound like his friends still remember the terrible things Paul did to them and possibly loved ones?⁣

Nope. ⁣

Christ’s atoning power is real.

We don’t need to keep thinking we aren’t as good as anyone else.

We don’t need to keep thinking we have other people “figured out”.

Because of Jesus, everyone gets to change if they want to.

Our eternal potential is unlimited!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Paul didn’t let his past define him first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I recently was part of a conversation with a bunch of moms. ⁣

One mom told a story about how frustrating it was that so many people wanted to come see her baby right after she gave birth.

She said the visitors brought sicknesses, drained her energy, and didn’t respect her need to heal. ⁣

And then later in the conversation, a different mom talked about how she actually LOVED having visitors right after having babies.

The visitors lifted her spirits, gave her a break from holding her baby, and made her feel less lonely.

Differences of opinion are normal, right?

But I thought this was actually a beautiful example of how we impose our own intentions and meaning on others!

When someone comes to visit the first mom after giving birth, she’s thinking:

“Oh they aren’t very considerate. Do they realize how many sicknesses they are carrying?!”⁣

And when someone DOESN’T visit the second mom after giving birth, she’s thinking:

“No one cares about me. No one is thinking about me or how I’m doing right now.”⁣

This is clearly a low-stakes example, but don’t we do this all the time?!?⁣

Someone does something and we have negative thoughts because we assume their intentions. ⁣

Someone DOESN’T do something and others have negative thoughts because they assume their intentions. ⁣

The men who crucified the Savior did a TERRIBLE thing—

BUT they didn’t necessarily realize they were actually crucifying the Savior of the world.

They thought they were neutralizing a blasphemous threat. ⁣

Once again, we have a perfect example from our Savior of how to forgive others. ⁣

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

Pres Eyring said, “We do not know the hearts of those who offend us”. ⁣

And yet, in our fallen state, we think we know everyone’s intentions.

We think we know that they should know better.

We think everyone has had our exact experiences and education.

We think we know that they are wrong and we are right. ⁣

But from my experience, I’ve noticed that most people don’t realize they are offending someone else.

When we practice stepping back and assuming that everyone around us actually has the best intentions and mortal weaknesses, inner peace becomes available.

Jesus forgave the people ending His mortal life while hanging on the cross, and we can do better at forgiving others, too.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Visiting new moms  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.