And I love it. ⁣

In case you aren’t familiar, “toxic positivity” is when people respond to other people’s trials or suffering with unhelpful statements like:⁣

“Just think positive! It’ll all be fine!”⁣

“So many people are worse off than you. You’ll be okay!”⁣

“Life is easier when you just stay happy all the time!”⁣

In other words, telling someone to “stay positive” while invalidating or ignoring the tough parts of life. ⁣

I totally used to be a “toxic positivity” person with fantastic motivations who just wanted everyone to be happy. ⁣

And then I learned after going through my own trials that all I really wanted was people who would listen to me and mourn with me and comfort me in real, connecting ways. ⁣

Because, life is not always happy. ⁣

I think of prophets in every book of scripture, feeling great anxiety and sadness. ⁣

I think of our Savior who stopped to help and comfort and mourn. He wept out of compassion, even when He knew things were about to get a whole lot better. ⁣

So when the Lord teaches us in D&C 29:5 to:⁣

“Lift up your hearts and be glad”,⁣

… how are we supposed to pull that off in an authentic way?⁣

When life is sad and unfair and heartbreaking, how do we feel true gladness without forcing ourselves to just “be positive”?⁣

I don’t know that I have the perfect answer, but I do have one. ⁣

I can think about my Savior. ⁣

I can think about my Savior and what He has done for me, personally. His sacrifice, His love, His atonement, His death, and His resurrection. ⁣

And when I focus on the hope and peace that He gives to me, I feel gladness AND sadness. ⁣

He doesn’t take away all the hurt (most of the time).⁣

But He gives me strength to bear it and the peace to not feel quite as worried. ⁣

No forced positivity. No brushing aside. ⁣

But instead, realizing that I can feel both. ⁣

I can feel whatever emotions I need to feel as I go through something tough. ⁣

AND I can lift up my heart and be glad for what my Savior has done and will do for me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Toxic positivity  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Life has so much more to offer than usefulness.

I believe we are meant to truly enjoy it.

To find beauty in the sunsets (and in Arizona, oh boy do we have the best).

To savor the delicious chocolate cake.

To dance to the background music.

To literally stop and smell the roses.

This is hard for me.

Because I’m a practical person.

I like things to have a purpose, a meaning.

But I’m getting better at selling my loaf of bread to buy a beautiful bouquet of hyacinths. Just because.

To get from point A to point B on a swirly twirly pathway, instead of sprinting.

Because one way of traveling leaves me refreshed and renewed. And the other way leaves me exhausted.

In D&C 59:18, the Lord so gently reminds us that things on this earth were made:

“Both to PLEASE the eye and to GLADDEN the heart”.

And in the next verse:

“To strengthen the body and to ENLIVEN the soul.”

The earth was created.

We aren’t living in a brown and gray abyss that will “work just fine” for living arrangements.

Instead, our Savior spent time creating beauty and intricacies.

Why?

He probably enjoyed creating it. He probably enjoyed the challenge and the beauty of the process.

But of course, He also wanted us to feel this joy.

To have our souls enlivened and gladdened and pleased.

Life is tough. There are lessons to be learned and trials to be endured.

But life is also beautiful and miraculous and delicious and harmonious and transcendent.

We need bread for our body.

But we also need hyacinths for our soul.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Hyacinths for the soul first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.