I always laugh when I read this scripture!

I can picture righteous Jacob, trying to convince the Nephites more fully of Christ, just throwing his hands up at the end of his sermon.

“Just be mature and smart, and I won’t need to keep giving you directions on every little thing!”

I feel like President Nelson can relate.

No church meetings? No youth activities? No classes? No teachers?

What do we do?!?!

Just be wise.

You’ve gained the knowledge. Now, counsel with your Father in Heaven, and just make good choices.

I obviously don’t know exactly what the living arrangements in heaven will be like, but I like to picture myself living by righteous saints from all walks of life and all time periods! Some kept the Law of Moses while on earth. Some served missions for multiple years around the world. Some saw Jesus. Some had the Come, Follow Me program. Some held church in a small isolated house.

There’s no single “right way” to do everything we are supposed to do.

Right now, we are in a period of completely “home-centered church”.

This is a defining period. It is what we will be known for.

And yet, we aren’t told exactly what to do.

Essentially, we have been told to “be wise”.

We use our knowledge of Sabbath day observance, scripture study, teaching principles, modern-day prophets, love of family, and so much more…

And we apply those principles with as much spiritual maturity as we can.

This doesn’t mean perfection is our goal (or even attainable!) so if you are starting to feel defeated, just stop right there.

Are you applying your knowledge of gospel principles the best that you can right now, with your varying family circumstances or crazy kids or all alone or with roommates?

Then you’ve done it. You are being wise. And there’s not much more to say. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post O, be wise! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

We all recently found that the “Church-supported” portion of our gospel learning is being put on hold for a bit. 

Since I run a huge account and website focused on Come Follow Me Study, I’ve felt this urgency and desire to help out as much as I can.

I asked my followers for questions and concerns they have while making this transition, and I’ve collected them all here! Some answers are from my own experiences as a middle school teacher, avid studier of the Come Follow Me curriculum, and as a young mom to two little kids. Other answers have been crowd-sourced from my followers or from other Come Follow Me resources. 

What are we supposed to do?!

I LOVE this question because I think it has a powerful but simple answer. We do not HAVE to do anything. We are not even SUPPOSED to necessarily do anything. 

Let me ask you a different question: What do you WANT to do? 

What do you want to do now that you have a day of total rest with your family? 

What a cool opportunity to pray to decide what is best. I’ll give you quite a few options and ideas below, but ultimately, you are the authority within your home. You can decide what Sundays are going to look like as you counsel with your spouse if you are married, and with your Heavenly Father. What a blessing!

I do want to add – please do not administer the Sacrament in your home unless you have been given explicit permission by YOUR Bishop. If you have been given permission, please follow your Bishop’s counsel with how to administer the sacred ordinance. 

How do we make Sundays special, especially if work and school are cancelled, so we are home all day every other day, too?

One of my favorite quotes goes something like: “If you don’t do anything differently, how can you expect it to be different?”

So what will you do differently on Sunday morning than a Saturday morning? 

Different shows on the TV? Different meals (eating breakfast together vs. on your own)? Getting ready for the day at a different time? Different music being played? 

My advice? PLAN. PLAN. PLAN. And then expect things to not go according to plan. (That’s one of the first lessons you learn as a teacher. I guarantee any other teacher can attest to that!)

Think about what type of schedule might work well with your family. Set clear expectations beforehand so people, especially kids, know what to expect! Do you have a set start-time for an activity or lesson together? Let people know!

And then be flexible during the day. This is NOT a situation where you need to wrap up on time or else the next ward is waiting out in the foyer for you to finish. Let things go as long or as short as they need. Pay attention to the natural timing and flow. Has an activity run its course in five minutes? Let it be. 

Consider your plans for the ENTIRE day. Late afternoons are usually tough times for everyone, from toddler to teenagers to adults. So will you plan a family walk to get everyone moving? Have everyone take a nap? Watch an uplifting movie together (which probably means Dad is taking a nap)? 

(I’ve got more specific tips for families with YOUNG KIDS and families with TEENAGERS, too!)

What if you or your family haven’t really done Come Follow Me yet? Or haven’t done it in a long time? 

First of all, literally no judgement. You are certainly not alone! 

But, what a nice little tender mercy in the midst of all the chaos, that you now have a little impetus to get you started again!

It might seem awkward or weird (check out point number 4 in my “5 Ways to Make Come Follow Me work for you this year” article). But really, it’s just reading and studying the scriptures! 

And what does it mean to study the scriptures?! Just slow down and think about them a bit. Stop and reflect. Discuss. If you need ideas of questions, check out the current Study Guide HERE (or look back on previous ones, too!). 

Crack open that curriculum manual, turn to today’s date, and start. Let go of any guilt you may feel from “missing” previous weeks. Trust me, you’ll learn exactly what the Spirit needs you to know when you put in some effort. 

What are some ideas for home-centered worship on Sundays?

First of all, the Come Follow Me curriculum is absolutely perfect for this situation. If you haven’t immersed yourself in this curriculum and scripture study yet, now is a great time to start.

Here are some ideas for using the Come Follow Me curriculum on Sundays:

• Give everyone individual time to read the assigned chapters on their own and mark a few verses that stand out to them. Come back together and share what you learned.
• Read through a few of the sections in the manual for the week. Talk about the discussion questions asked in each section. 
• Read through the posts that I made on Instagram @comefollowmestudy for this week and discuss your thoughts. (Or, don’t forget, all my Instagram posts are also posted on my website. You can click on the dates for the week and it will pull up all the posts for that reading!)
• Assign each family member a section of that week’s reading. Give them time to prepare a short lesson, thought, or summary about what they learned from their section. Have each family member share from their portion. 
• Act out or draw portions of the lesson. Hang up the artwork around your home for the following week. 
• Give everyone time to write in their journals about how they can apply the lessons from the Come Follow Me readings to their own lives. Have people share what they wrote if they are comfortable. 
• Watch the Book of Mormon video that corresponds to the assigned reading. Talk about what stood out to you from the video. 

Looking for ideas to specifically keep your little ones engaged? Check out this article!

Do you have teens you are trying to keep involved? Check out these ideas!

Here are other ideas for Sunday that are not related to the Come Follow Me curriculum:

• Prepare for April 2020 General Conference by studying about the Restoration of the Gospel and the First Vision in the Doctrine and Covenants.
• Read, watch, or listen to previous General Conference talks.
• Watch “Music and the Spoken Word” live from the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square (broadcast on BYUtv or the Choir’s Facebook page at 9:30 am MDT).
• Assign a “topic” for Sunday that you feel like your family would benefit from. Assign family members to prepare messages or thoughts about the topic. 
• Sing hymns or primary songs. Learn a song that your family might not be familiar with. 
• Do family history work or index names. 
• Keep in touch with distant family members through video calls.
• Keep in touch with ward family members, especially those you are assigned to minister to, through phone calls, texts, or visits (where appropriate). 
• Hold a “Fast Sunday” and have family members bear their testimonies if they are comfortable sharing. 
• Give everyone time to write in journals. 
• Do anything else that you consider “Keeping the Sabbath Holy”

What if I don’t have a picture-perfect “family” situation for Sundays?

If you live alone, this is a beautiful time to slow down and focus on your scripture study habits. How can you dive into the scriptures even more? How can you learn to love them? What good habits would you like to make and keep? You can also reach out to friends and loved ones through technology. Consider forming a study group through a group chat or video call so that you can encourage others to keep themselves emerged in the gospel, too!

If you live with only one other person, this is a great time to connect on a gospel level. Whether you are newlyweds, empty-nesters, or any other situation, take the time to connect with each other about the scriptures. This will also give both of you plenty of time to focus on your individual study. It probably isn’t necessary to be overly “formal” or scheduled with your time together, but commit to making some form of partner study happen. 

If you are the only member living with others who might not be observing the Sabbath day, consider how you can create time to be by yourself for some personal worship. Invite others to participate with you in non-threatening and uplifting ways, if possible. Connect with the people you live with in positive ways while still committing to keep the Sabbath holy. 

Final Thoughts

In Jacob 4:14, we are warned to not look “beyond the mark”. This means over-regulating ourselves, or looking for things that aren’t necessary. 

You don’t have to create a perfect experience for everyone in your home. You don’t need to become the Primary President and the YW leader and the Bishop and the chorister. Keep it simple. Think ahead and plan, but keep it simple. Use the Spirit to be your guide. Your family’s day will probably look different than everyone else’s and that’s totally fine.  

Think of all the emphasis that has been put on “Keeping the Sabbath Holy” over the past 5 years. You know what kinds of things will keep the Spirit and what won’t. Use personal revelation to continue to decide what is appropriate for the Sabbath.

And don’t forget to reach out! We are all in this together, in little homes and apartments throughout the world. Share your successes, your “let’s not try that again” moments, your testimony a-ha’s. Leave them here in the comments on this post, or on my Instagram or Facebook. 

Things might feel a little lonely, but you are certainly not alone. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Totally Home-Centered Church Survival Guide first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

P.S. If you’ve got young kids, check out my tips here, and be sure to read my full Survival Guide with tons of advice HERE!

I seriously love working with teenagers. I got my degree in Elementary Education, but I wound up teaching middle school for 4 years and getting my middle school endorsement. I know, I know, I’m that weirdo who enjoyed teaching middle school. Since I run the @comefollowmestudy social media accounts and website, I asked many of you what questions you had now that we are taking the “church-supported” portion of our Sundays away. 

And tons of you asked for advice on teenagers!

I’m going to share some ideas that I have from working as an English teacher for middle schoolers, EFY counselor, and YW leader, but I’ve also crowd-sourced some amazing ideas from my followers at @comefollowmestudy as well! If you have any thoughts to share, please comment below or join the conversation on my Instagram page!

LOVE is the answer

Teenagers are all over the map when it comes to their spiritual development. 

• If you’ve got a teen who is ready and willing to participate in any gospel activities you have at home, then make sure you express your love and appreciation for them. 
• If your teen is more casual about the gospel right now, make the Sabbath a day when you can express your love to them and meet them where they are.

If Sundays become a source of contention, then it will be difficult to get any gospel learning done.

Remember Elder Holland’s sage advice: “Maybe you can’t teach them yet, but you can love them. And if you love them today, maybe you can teach them tomorrow.”

Get them involved in planning

Just like the new youth initiative focuses on youth making the plans for activities and goals, have your youth help plan Sundays. 

Ask them what activities they think might be appropriate for the Sabbath. Ask them what they want to work on now that church can be whatever they want it to be. Allow them to seek personal revelation to contribute to the planning. 

If there is something that you want them to prepare for Sunday (check out all of my ideas for using the Come Follow Me curriculum in your families here), consider giving them time on Sunday morning to do that preparation. The rest of their week is probably filled with school assignments or other activities, so set realistic expectations and have them prepare a short message or thought on Sunday to share later in the day. 

Keep things fun and interesting!

Just because they might act like they are too cool for school (that phrase alone makes me seem uncool, I know), doesn’t mean that they don’t want some fun. 

Ever tried giving a room full of teenagers paper and crayons and asking them to draw an image from a story? It will literally be the highlight of some of their days. 

You might not get too much enthusiasm from asking them to dress up and act stories out, but stick to drawing, writing, physical games, songs, and videos, and you can keep them engaged pretty well!

Make room for discussion

Pretty much everyone likes to talk about themselves. Given the right conditions, think of discussion questions that might help them open up about personal struggles, questions, or testimonies that they have. To help you out, I’ve created Study Guides for every book in the Book of Mormon so far that give you tons of guiding questions for each chapter. 

I also post at least 5 spiritual thoughts every week on my Instagram page @comefollowmestudy. You could read through all of these thoughts and discuss your ideas afterward. (You can also access all my posts on my website HERE.)

And moments of silence are SO IMPORTANT for teens. There have been so many times where I have shared a message, and just waited in the silence for a bit. Suddenly, hands shoot up as kids make connections and think of stories to share. 

Get them in the scriptures

Sometimes, it is tempting to act as their “teacher” a little too much. Who is the best teacher of all? The Savior. And we learn about him through the scriptures. 

Have they read the assigned scriptures for “Come Follow Me” this week yet? If not, set aside time on Sunday to just sit and read! If they’ve already read the chapters, consider teaching them how to “study” a little better by re-reading and looking for connections and questions. 

Ask them questions that get them looking back in the scriptures to answer.

Do you know a specific struggle or question that they have right now? Give them a personal challenge to look for answers within the scriptures. 

Again, look through my long list of ideas for using the Come Follow Me curriculum HERE for even more ideas to get them in their scriptures. 

Set expectations beforehand

Is everyone sleeping in? Should they be awake and ready by a specific time? Are you meeting as a whole family at a specific time? Whatever you decide is best for your family, make sure they know the expectations beforehand. 

Nothing will cause more contention than teens not meeting expectations they didn’t even know existed. 

Analyze and be willing to change

Your teens will appreciate being respected enough to ask their opinion on a Sunday night. 

“How did today go? How can we do better next week? What should we start, stop, and continue?”

Their feedback will be invaluable for making adjustments for the following week, instead of just plowing along with what you think is working. 

Keep your own studies going

Actions speak louder than words. ESPECIALLY to teenagers.

The best way to teach them that reading the scriptures is important is to have them see you reading the scriptures. 

So take time to make sure your spiritual tank is filled. Be a great example of immersing yourself in the gospel on Sundays, and your family will naturally follow suit. (Or, if they don’t follow suit right now, they’ll always have that example in the back of their mind.)

Your teenagers will be such a helpful tool in this home-centered church. They are awesome. Their testimonies are powerful and pure. Share your successes with others! Help them with what has worked well, and don’t be afraid to let go of habits that aren’t working well.

Comment below with any other tips specifically for teens, and be sure to read my full post on using Come Follow Me HERE. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Teenagers Edition: Totally Home-Centered Church Survival Guide first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

P.S. If you have teenagers, check out THESE TIPS – or read my entire general Survival Guide HERE!

Solidarity to all of you who have had the thought, “No more nursery?!” or “No more primary?!” cross their minds recently. 

I’m a young mom with a 2-year-old and a 2-month-old, and I also have my degree in Elementary Education. I’ve run the @comefollowmestudy social media accounts since January of 2019, and also have my own site with all of my study thoughts each week. I know a fair amount about kids’ development, how to appropriately teach at each age level, and I have a huge passion for studying the scriptures.

And still, this is no walk in the park. 

But here are some tips that I have for making your new completely home-centered Sundays run as smoothly as possible. Some of these ideas come from my own experiences, and others have been crowd-sourced from my amazing followers on Instagram. Please, if you have anything else to add, comment below on this post, or head over to @comefollowmestudy and join the conversation!

Flexible Routine, NOT Rigid Schedule

Two super important words for young kids! 

First, make a routine. I recommend creating “blocks” of time. For example, from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. we are doing “arts and crafts”, even though the hour might look like coloring for 5 minutes, drawing with chalk for 20, coloring a picture for 10 again, building a temple out of blocks for 15 minutes… you get the picture. Routines help little minds know what to expect, and they also give you as the adult some structure to work with. 

And second, be flexible. If “song time” is going great and your kids are rocking out to all of the Article of Faith songs over and over, then keep it going. If next week, “song time” runs its course in 10 minutes, don’t stress. You’ll lose their attention fast if you are trying to force something that they aren’t interested in right now. 

Make it Fun!

In my undergrad classes at BYU, I was taught that during the first week of school, I needed to have my students leave my classroom thinking, “That was such a fun class!” If I could get them to leave thinking that for the first few days, then I could throw in all the hard work and rigor I wanted to later, and they would buy into it because my class was “fun”. 

So find ways to make the Sabbath fun! Sundays do not have to be boring days. You might not want your kids watching the same shows or playing the same games they do on weekdays, so what can you offer to make the day more special instead of seeming like a chore?

Some ideas to make the day fun in appropriate ways:

• Church videos on YouTube or on the Church’s website
• Listen to Primary songs
• Listen to other Church songs on YouTube by current popular artists
• Delete their normal game apps for the day so they aren’t as tempting of an option
• Pull out board games or card games that might not be used as often
• Get some outdoor activities for your backyard that you don’t usually use or have time for
• Get new church-related or uplifting books

If “fun” is a theme of the day, then it’s a lot easier to get real “learning” in!

Let Them Help Plan!

Kids LOVE getting buy-in. During the week (or even on Sunday morning), ask them what they would like to do as Sunday-appropriate activities. You might be surprised at the good ideas they come up with! If they have some ideas that you don’t want to pursue on the Sabbath, keep it positive by telling them it’s a great idea for a Wednesday, and put it on your calendar if possible. This helps keep them feeling like their contribution is meaningful! 

For super young kids, giving them two choices is a fun way to still create buy-in (“Would you like to take a walk around the neighborhood, or read a picture book?”)

Give Them Jobs!

Along with getting their buy-in in the planning phase, get their help executing the plan, too! This can look completely different based on the ages of your kids, but can be really effective in keeping them engaged. 

For the older kids, have them help plan part of an activity. They can: 

• Cut out olive trees to use for a reenactment
• Learn how to read a few verses so they can read it out loud to the family
• Color visual aids
• Think of a personal story to share
• Come up with a fun game for the family to play in the backyard

For the younger kids, give them jobs during the activity to keep their interest. They can:

• Bring you supplies when needed
• Hold visual aids or props
• Act stories out
• Dress up for a story
• Repeat simple phrases over and over

Spread it Out!

Kids are usually most attentive in the morning to mid-morning. Consider:

• Activities or lessons that require more focus earlier on in the day
• Nap time or “quiet time” in the early afternoon
• More active plans for the later afternoon
• A church or uplifting movie for the evening 

Don’t feel like you need to cram all of the day’s activities into a two-hour block, just like church. 

Take the Wins, Ignore the Losses, and Don’t Stress

A million things will go “wrong”. Because that’s what happens when you try to work with little, developing personalities and maturities. 

But Jesus loved the little children, temper tantrums and all. Reframe the Sabbath as a way to just shower your kids with love while teaching them correct principles, and you can’t go wrong. Get them in the scriptures if you can. Bear your testimony in small and simple ways. Share personal stories that they can connect with. 

Make it a process that YOU enjoy, because this is your Sabbath day, too. 

Find time to reconnect with your spouse. To dive into the scriptures by yourself. Put that oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. 

I know, easier said than done with little ones. 

But when you make Christ a priority in YOUR life, it will naturally spill over into the way you interact with and teach your kids. This was my complete motivation behind starting @comefollowmestudy and it is what keeps me going. We’ve got to fill our own buckets first and feast upon the words of Christ. 

Have any more ideas for working with young kids on the Sabbath? Drop them in the comments below or head over to Instagram and share there! We are in this together.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Young Kids Edition: Totally Home-Centered Church Survival Guide first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.