There was no way what my HR director was telling me was true. ⁣⁣

“But I’ve signed up for short-term disability for the past three years!”

“Oh,” the HR director said. “But did you also fill out the physical application for it each year, too?”⁣⁣

I had no clue about a physical application. ⁣⁣

I’m a fairly competent, intelligent person who had attended the employee benefits meeting every year. ⁣⁣

And I truly, honestly did not remember hearing about this extra step. ⁣⁣

I was frustrated, devastated, concerned for our financial situation…⁣⁣

But nothing could change that. I hadn’t paid into the insurance, and so I didn’t get it. ⁣⁣

It was one of the worst feelings in the world:

The feeling of being punished for something that you truly had no clue you were doing wrong. ⁣⁣

Real life is rough like this sometimes. ⁣⁣

Honest mistakes and innocent oversights can have devastating impacts. ⁣⁣

I can hardly even imagine a loving Heavenly Father who would hold something over my head that I did not knowingly do. ⁣⁣

Instead, “We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.” (Article of Faith 2) 

I think of silly times, like when I thoroughly enjoyed a cake at a neighborhood party, just for my mom to realize it was filled with coffee afterwards, and I felt so guilty. ⁣⁣

Or more somber times when I believed I was helping someone out, only to discover that I had unknowingly harmed their spiritual progress. ⁣⁣

I am grateful that I will be punished— or held accountable— for my own sins.

In order to sin, I have to have a knowledge of the principle against which I am sinning.

This seems totally fair to me.

I won’t be held accountable for anyone else’s transgressions, whether it’s Adam’s, Eve’s, a leader’s, or a friend’s mistake.

God will only hold me accountable for the sins I choose. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post My honest mistake  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I was speaking with a friend…

And the conversation got a little heated. ⁣

I thought that I was saying the right things in the moment.

But it threw a huge wedge between us. ⁣

Over the next couple of years, I matured a lot.

I discovered why the way I had reacted was completely inappropriate and actually not Christlike.

I vowed to improve my communication skills. ⁣

And I did!

It took a lot of work and effort.

But I totally changed and became so much better at kind and honest conversations, even when discussing difficult topics.

A few years later, I was speaking to that same friend. ⁣

The same topic came up that we had previously argued about.

But this time I handled it with maturity and finesse. ⁣

And then I mentioned:

“I’m so glad we can talk about this now, because I was so immature with how I responded the last time we had this conversation!”⁣

My friend’s response gutted me.

“Really? I didn’t know that you regretted how you talked to me last time. It hurt me, and I thought you still felt the same.”

I was so embarrassed.

My friend had no idea that I was thoroughly mortified for how I had acted before.

My friend had no idea that it had spurred literal years of self-development and sincere prayers.

Part of repentance means communicating with the people you have wronged. ⁣

Alma implored Corianton to, “. . . return unto them, and acknowledge your faults and that wrong which ye have done.” (Alma 39:13)

I let my friend hurt for much too long because they didn’t know I was trying to repent.

I could have saved them from some degree of suffering.

Of course, only the Savior can take away the true sting of sin.

But we need to do our part to ease the burden.

Return. Apologize. Acknowledge the fault.

And then improve.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  I made the mistake first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

All my plans, my new-year-organization strategies have been thrown out the window as I’ve been knocked sick.

I do a lot each week that requires everything to run pretty close to clockwork.

There were many times this thought has run through my head as I’ve seen deadlines pass, work pile up, house projects left undone:

“This has all gone wrong.”

This isn’t how my new year, just a few months away from having a new baby, was supposed to start.

Have you ever thought this before?

“This has all gone wrong.”

There have been a few, much more serious times in my life when I’ve thought this, too.

But what I’ve learned is one of the most comforting, eternal truths:

“All flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good.” (Moses 6:32)

God is in control.

And if God is in control, nothing is going to “go wrong”.

Now, don’t misunderstand: I’ve learned this does NOT mean that nothing will ever go wrong in my little mortal point of view.

But in the grand, eternal scheme of things, God isn’t letting any little decision I make, any sickness, any bump in the road throw a wrench into any of His plans.

God can do anything at any time.

So if I believe that, then how can I change my perspective right now?

“If I give this all to God, nothing can go wrong.”

Nothing goes wrong when I give it to God.

Deadlines will work themselves out. Or maybe I’ll miss them and things will be fine. Or maybe I’ll get clarity on things I need to drop anyways.

And it feels SO much better to think this way.

He’s got my back.

Nothing can go wrong.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post It’s all gone wrong! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

There was no way what my HR director was telling me was true.

“But I’ve signed up for short-term disability for the past three years! This is exactly what it is for!”

I told her how each year, I would sign up for insurance benefits on the computer during our little staff meeting at school, and I made sure to always select short-term disability insurance.

“Oh,” the HR director said. “But did you also fill out the physical application for it each year, too?”

I had no clue about a physical application.

She told me that even though all other insurance choices and options were made on the computer, short-term disability insurance required an extra physical paper application.

I’m a fairly competent, intelligent person who had attended the employee benefits meeting every year.

And I truly, honestly did not remember hearing about this extra step.

I was frustrated, devastated, concerned for our financial situation…

But nothing could change that. I hadn’t paid into the insurance, and so I didn’t get it.

It was one of the worst feelings, and I still despise that emotion today—The feeling of being punished for something that you truly had no clue you were doing wrong.

Real life is rough like this sometimes.

Honest mistakes and innocent oversights can have devastating impacts.

I can hardly even imagine a loving Heavenly Father who would hold something over my head that I did not knowingly do.

I think of silly times, like when I thoroughly enjoyed a cake at a neighborhood party, just for my mom to realize it was filled with coffee afterwards, and I felt so guilty.

Or more somber times when I believed I was helping someone out, only to discover that I had unknowingly harmed their progress.

But above all, I am grateful that I will be punished (AKA held accountable) for my own sins (which require a knowledge that there is a principle I am sinning against).

And that I won’t be held accountable for anyone else’s transgressions. Whether it’s Adam, or Eve, or a leader, or a friend.

I will only be held accountable for the sins I choose.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Honest mistakes first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I usually kept things super high energy and busy on the first day, so that the kids didn’t have an option but to be engaged and get to know me.

And within just a few minutes, this particular student was already being defiant and apathetic.

So I made it a goal to say 5 positive, non-behavior-related comments to him each day.

I complimented his shoes. I asked him what they did in P.E. today. I asked him to help me hand out pencils. He wrote a sentence about a movie when I had asked for a paragraph, and I talked to him all about my favorite parts of the movie.

He seemed surprised at first.

But he started to warm up to me.

Then, I slowly introduced buddy-buddy conversations about his behavior.

“Hey, I get that you were trying to be funny when you made that comment earlier, but it really derailed the entire class for a while. Could you help me out and save those kinds of comments til after class or when we have some free time?”

And then, when he’d start to talk out in class again, I’d give him a little “knowing” look.

He caught on.

Honestly, he was a good kid. He really struggled academically, but the behavior issues subsided to the point that they weren’t so disruptive.

I made A WHOLE LOT of mistakes while teaching.

But I never let a child leave my classroom without knowing that they were seen as a real human being, and that they were loved.

I LITERALLY thought of this scripture often, and even taught a training to my co-workers using this “saying that I once heard”… 

“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;” D&C 121:43

I now use this in my parenting all the time. When the positive comments VASTLY outweigh the corrective or negative, no matter how many there are, there is a feeling of love and “I’m on your team”-ness.

God sees us as more than our mistakes, and I think He wants us to emulate that, too.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post More than our mistakes first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Nephi retrieved them and handed them to the Lord.

Christ looked through some of the pages, scanning for something he knew he wouldn’t find.

He turned to Nephi, filled with love.

“I commanded my servant Samuel, the Lamanite, that he should testify unto this people, that at the day that the Father should glorify his name in me that there were many saints who should arise from the dead, and should appear unto many, and should minister unto them. Was it not so?”

Nephi and the others eagerly responded.

“Yea, Lord!”

And then Jesus looked right at Nephi.

“How be it that ye have not written this thing, that many saints did arise and appear unto many and did minister unto them?”

Nephi’s heart was likely pierced with guilt.

He had forgotten to write about that. He had written other descriptions, but not for this specific prophecy.

Maybe he had actively chosen to write about different prophecies. Maybe he had meant to write that in later. Maybe it honestly had slipped his mind as he recorded their history.

But ultimately, it had not happened.

Guilt might have started to overpower him. The Savior of the world uncovering a mistake he had made.

But what did Jesus do?

He commanded that the fulfillment of that previously omitted prophecy should be written.

And so it was written.

What I’ve learned time and time again is that my Savior doesn’t want me to wallow in self-pity and excessive guilt or shame.

He is so good at helping me see my faults, my mistakes, my weaknesses.

But after the exposure, after the piercing guilt…

All he really wants is for me to change.

Sometimes it’s as simple as writing something down that was forgotten.

And other times it takes a lifetime of feeling that guilt, trying again, omitting again, and then repeating.

But after every fall, after every moment I’m reminded of my weakness, he invites me to get back up and fix it.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post An invitation to change first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.