King Saul was chastised by the prophet Samuel.

He had taken some sheep and oxen from their enemies during battle, directly disobeying the Lord’s commands.

Samuel told the king:

“To obey is better than sacrifice.” (1 Samuel 15:22)

I’ll be honest that this scripture has confused me for a long time.

Isn’t sacrifice good?

Doesn’t the Lord want us to sacrifice things for Him?

But I finally found some meaning in this advice when I was sacrificing a lot of sleep, effort, and many of my talents for my calling at church…

While ignoring promptings that I need to do better at teaching my family the importance of the scriptures.

What I learned is that sometimes WE want to sacrifice the things that we want to sacrifice for the Lord…

Instead of just obeying what He has already commanded or prompted us to do.

ABSOLUTELY many of the commandments require sacrifice in order to obey—

That’s really not we are talking though.

What the Lord needed to teach Saul, and each of us, is that we step into spiritually dangerous territory when we trick ourselves into thinking that simply because we are sacrificing something for a good cause (whether that’s fulfilling a calling, paying tithing, attending the temple on a schedule, or sending out a missionary) that we are being obedient to the Lord.

Those sacrifices are so good.

Just like offering an animal sacrifice was in Saul’s time.

But if we do it at the expense of obeying our first and great commandment: to love the Lord God above all else, then we are in spiritual danger of deception.

I thought I was on the right track by fulfilling my calling at church.

But I realized I was offering a sacrifice that I wanted to make (or felt I had to make) while ignoring the things that would actually bring me to a closer relationship with my Savior.

Nothing else will matter in the end if we don’t know and love the Lord with all our heart and soul.

And the best way to show and grow that love?

“If ye love me, keep my commandments.”

Am I offering God the sacrifice I want to give, or the obedience He is asking for?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Is obedience really better than sacrifice? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And you know what?⁣

It’s okay. ⁣

I don’t understand all the intricacies of what my own parents did day in and day out to provide the life for me that I had. ⁣

And then I think about my spiritual heritage. ⁣

All 16 of my great-great-great grandparents on my mom’s side joined the church at some point, usually at a great physical or financial sacrifice. ⁣

And I’ve got a similar spiritual heritage on my father’s side. ⁣

I will never fully understand what they had to give up, the hard decisions they had to make, and the cost of their consistency and devotion to the gospel. ⁣

And it’s okay that I don’t fully understand (although I love learning their stories).

What Joseph Smith sacrificed to bring forth the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and numerous other revelations is incomprehensible. ⁣

“The reader in every nation will be reminded that the Book of Mormon, and this book of Doctrine and Covenants of the church, cost the best blood of the nineteenth century to bring them forth for the salvation of a ruined world.” (D&C 135:6)

He sacrificed his own life for the cause. ⁣

I will never fully understand what that is like. ⁣

And I will never fully understand what my Savior Jesus Christ did for me, and continues to do for me. ⁣

I learn, I study, I receive blessings, and I get little glimpses into what He has done. ⁣

But I’ll never truly “get it”. ⁣

Not understanding the extreme sacrifices of our predecessors is a natural, short-sighted, human thing to do. ⁣

But that doesn’t excuse me from the opportunity to be grateful. ⁣

To reflect on what my family members, both near and far, have done for me.

To ponder on the prophet Joseph and other spiritual leaders.

And to revere my Savior for His great atoning sacrifice and continued, sustaining help. ⁣

I will never fully understand all the sacrifices made to give me the plethora of privileges I enjoy. ⁣

But I can still learn about them and feel extreme gratitude for those who have given me my firm foundation.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post My kids will never understand first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Most of us grew up feeling comfortable attending the church we were born and raised in.

So our professor specifically wanted us to go somewhere we would be a bit uncomfortable.

I wanted to understand a specific group of people better, so I attended one of their meetings.

My professor was right!

I did feel a bit uncomfortable being in an atmosphere I wasn’t used to.

I didn’t “get” all the unspoken rules and routines that everyone else seemed familiar with.

I didn’t know a single person.

But I was also shocked at how much love and understanding I felt in my heart as I listened to the meeting.

Like, SO much love.

This taught me an important lesson that being willing to sacrifice our comfort can lead us straight to love.

When we humbly sacrifice for other people, whether it’s a group we don’t know, our child, or a ward member, we can’t help but grow in love for that person or group.

This means if we want to grow our loving relationship with the Lord, we need to be willing to sacrifice, too.

The Lord knows that it takes work to build that love:

“Wherefore, prepare ye for the coming of the Bridegroom; go ye, go ye out to meet him.” (D&C 133:19)

Jesus Christ loves us, and our willing sacrifice performed with good intentions will always produce greater love. 

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post An uncomfortable meeting  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I had recently moved into the ward. ⁣

My house was still being slowly organized.⁣

I was pretty sick and tired from pregnancy. ⁣

There was just a lot going on. ⁣

So, no thank you. I couldn’t handle my own life at the moment, which meant visiting my assigned sisters was not going to happen. ⁣

And then my new companion cornered me, and I quickly found myself agreeing to dates and times to go minister. ⁣

I picked up some cookies on the day we had planned, and met her at a house. We were invited inside. ⁣

And the conversation and company that flowed for the next unexpected two hours was so refreshing. ⁣

I found connection, I felt sympathy, I laughed, I shed a few tears, I served. ⁣

I’ve realized I’m really good at giving this excuse in a lot of areas in my life:

“Oh no, I can’t handle the simple day-to-day stuff right now, so I can’t take on anything else.”⁣

But time and time again, I’ve learned that when I try to give and serve in times that I lack, it is enough. ⁣

The amazing Kirtland saints didn’t wait until their bank accounts felt a litttttle more comfortable and all their debts were paid off before they donated their money. ⁣

“Out of our poverty we have given of our substance”. (D&C 109:5⁣)

They had nothing. And they still gave. ⁣

And with what they gave, they built the first holy temple to the Lord in this dispensation. ⁣

When I don’t think I have enough time to serve, but I do it anyways, I am always proven wrong. ⁣

Because… I’m always going to lack. ⁣

At least, it seems highly unlikely that at some point in my life I’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m totally comfortable now. I have nothing else to worry about and so NOW I’d like to serve others.”⁣

We are asked to serve from our own lack. ⁣

Of course, paying attention to when the line has crossed into unhealthy service. It’s okay to say no. ⁣

But I’ve come to learn that for the most part, I’m never going to feel like I’m “ready enough” to serve more or sacrifice more. ⁣

And yet, even in my complete and utter lack, the Lord can take what little I’m offering and transform it into a mighty miracle.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post No ministering lessons please first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

“Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit

“—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink.” (D&C 19:18)

The final phrase of that scripture has always stood out to me.

Because the Savior of the world, faced with a truly painful and unpleasant task, asked not to have to face it.

At that moment, He did not want to drink the extremely bitter cup that had been placed before Him.

It is okay to ask.

It is okay to ask for our pains and sorrows to be taken away.

For our trials to end.

For our miracles to transform us.

But then, our perfect example said:

“Nevertheless, glory be to the Father.”(D&C 19:19)

Nevertheless…

God’s will be done.

We can ask for what we want…

While also submitting to the Father’s will if it is different from ours.

I’ve learned that it’s okay to not always love whatever life throws at me.

I can wish and pray that it was different.

But ultimately, I have found the most peace when I give glory to my Father, no matter the circumstances.

And when I do hard things, the greatest blessings await on the other side.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post I don’t want to have to do this first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But He said to NOT travel to find Him?

You had to stay at home.

How would you prepare mentally and spiritually?

When I know something spiritual is about to happen, my preparation makes a huge impact on my experience.

I’ve had stake conferences where I’ve embraced preparatory challenges or talks to study from my stake leaders.

I’ve also had stake conferences where I completely ignore them because I’m too busy.

And guess which stake conferences have been more meaningful to me?

The ones where I put in the hard work and sacrificed my personal time to prepare!

When Christ told the Nephites that He would be returning the next day, they all spread the word and went to work.

“An exceedingly great number, did labor exceedingly all that night, that they might be on the morrow in the place where Jesus should show himself unto the multitude.” (3 Nephi 19:3)

Preparation can be hard work.

It can be a sacrifice.

But putting in the effort to prepare for experiences with Jesus will always be worth it!

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Preparing for Jesus first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

The hen who has carried, borne, labored, and delivered her little chicks. ⁣

The hen who has nourished her little chicks time and time again, and gathered them every time they scattered. ⁣

There is such love because there was such sacrifice. ⁣

Selfless service and total sacrifice produce the purest love that is possible. ⁣

This is why our Savior loves us with such tender devotion. Because He sacrificed everything for us.⁣

For me. ⁣

His body was broken for me, and His mental capacity was overwhelmed with the weight of my sins.

And because He did that, He loves me fully and completely, in a special bond that can’t quite compare.⁣

Except to a mother. ⁣

Elder Holland gave his iconic, “Behold Thy Mother” talk in 2015, a few years before I became a mother. I remember thinking, “Wow. I can’t even imagine that kind of love.”⁣

“No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.” – President Holland

I’m now a mom to three.

There is a lot of sacrifice in order to be a mother. My body has been broken, and healed, and broken, and healed. My mental capacities have been stretched to the limits. ⁣

And because of the sacrifice, there is great love. There is a special bond that comes from that ultimate service. ⁣

Of course anyone who sacrifices out of pure love can feel this bond, too.

But Christ Himself decided to compare His feelings of love to that of a mother.

“How oft have I gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and have nourished you.” (3 Nephi 10:4)

I think about the Motherly figures that He learned from, both in heaven and on earth. ⁣

It makes His comparison all the more powerful. ⁣

And so, when Christ calls to us, when He wants to gather us under His wings and give us nourishment, it isn’t out of duty or pity.⁣

It’s out of the pure love and devotion that can only come from a moment of total sacrifice.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The mother hen  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Other prophets converted entire cities and softened the hardest hearts. ⁣

But that wasn’t Abinadi’s mission.

His was to preach repentance to hardened hearts, convert young Alma who would be cast out, and die a brutal death. ⁣

We all have different missions here on earth. ⁣

Some will endure difficult financial situations.

Some will be saddled with mental illness.

Some will know the pain of losing loved ones prematurely.

But the thing that carries us through is our faith. ⁣

Abinadi figured out, at least by the time Noah was getting angry, that he would be sealing his words with his blood and that physical deliverance would not be his in this life. ⁣

And so, he was filled with that faith in God.

That peaceful faith that surpasses all reasoning.

That faith lasted even until the last moments as the flames surrounded him and he cried out:

“O God, receive my soul.” (Mosiah 17:19)

Do we have the faith in God to endure our personal missions? ⁣

We can’t compare them to other people’s because we’ve all been asked to endure different things.

But ultimately, our faith in God can help us endure our personal missions well.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Accepting the different paths first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I can still distinctly remember her cries waking me up shortly after I had just fallen asleep.

My immediate instinct was to soothe her in any way possible in her bassinet.

I put my hand on her chest.

I fished around for her pacifier and tried to put that in her mouth.⁣

And then quite often, I’d realize she wasn’t going back to sleep, and was ready to eat.⁣

I’d pull my body up from the comfy sheets, prop up my pillows, pull her from her bassinet, and feed her for a half hour in the dark. ⁣

Motherhood is a sacrifice.

A sacrifice of my body. My comfort. My sleep. My time. My mental resources. ⁣

But this sacrifice has refined me into a more selfless, more kind, more fulfilled, and hopefully more Christlike person. ⁣

Could I ever ignore or forget my baby’s cries in the middle of the night?

It’s hard to even imagine. ⁣

And yet, our Savior will forget us even less than a mother and her newborn child.

“For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.” (1 Nephi 21:15)

He has given us a greater sacrifice than even a mother who has birthed a child.

His body was broken for us. His emotional energy was depleted for us. His mortal life was ended for us. ⁣

He has sacrificed so much for us, that He could never forget us. ⁣

He has graven us upon the palms of His hands. ⁣

Do we remember that we can cry out to Him?

Do we trust that He really will respond every time in exactly the way that we need?

Do we know that His sacrifice for us forges a connection that can never be lost?⁣

The Lord will not forget us. He has never. And He will never. ⁣

He is aware of our every action and thought and move. He knows when we are in pain. He knows when we are confused. He knows when we just need a break. ⁣

All we need to do is trust that He really is there.

At 1:00 am, or whenever we need Him, He is there.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Sleepless nights  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Stephen knows a thing or two about sacrifice.

He is known as the first martyr following Jesus’s resurrection. ⁣

He sacrificed his life because he would not move from what he believed. ⁣

So what have you had to sacrifice?

Friends?

A certain lifestyle?

Family?

Money?

Time?

Energy? ⁣

It’s a sacrifice to be “all in” with this gospel.

Sometimes we get a nice groove going, where we are focused on the fun and joy.

And other times we are painfully aware of what we are sacrificing. ⁣

But here’s where I think Stephen teaches us a valuable lesson. ⁣

His last words were:

“Lord, lay not this sin to their charge.”⁣ (Acts 7:60)

Stephen sacrificed with a spirit of forgiving and love. ⁣

We are all sacrificing…

But HOW are we sacrificing?⁣

Is it with resentment?

It is longing for things we are missing?

Is it self-pitying or self-righteous?⁣

Or do we GLADLY sacrifice? ⁣

Out of love for the Lord and for those around us.

Not holding resentment for anyone.

Maybe even forgiving others for forcing us down paths that require a lot of sacrifice. ⁣

“The more I cheerfully respond to difficult circumstances with faith in the Lord, the more I grow in my discipleship.” —Elder Isaac K. Morrison

I want to follow noble Stephen’s lead in taking whatever comes my way, joyfully sacrificing whatever needs to be sacrificed out of love for God, and freely forgiving those who force the sacrifice upon me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post How do you sacrifice with joy like Stephen?  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.