I had prayed. I had done my research. I had written out pros and cons lists. I had talked with friends. ⁣

And I still had no clue which school to pick. ⁣

I kept praying.⁣

And still, I felt nothing. ⁣

Why wasn’t I getting the direction I was looking for? ⁣

I spent all summer thinking, delaying the final decision until the final deadline. ⁣

Still with no heavenly answer…

I finally just picked a school.

And it turned into a beautiful experience that was perfect with me, led me to amazing friends, and gave me great academic opportunities. ⁣

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good” (Alma 37:37).

So why hadn’t I been directed in the way I expected?

I have had countless times when I HAVE felt guided and directed by Heavenly Father in decisions I have made. ⁣

But I’ve also had a few of these experiences, where I look to Heaven and don’t hear anything. ⁣

Here’s what I think:

Being unmistakably directed in 100% of my actions would remove the need for agency and would stifle my growth.

Heavenly Father knew that I needed to “own” my school decision 100%. ⁣

And He trusted ME to make that decision all on my own. ⁣

He trusted me to study, ask, ponder, research, contemplate, and then decide. All by myself.

During that long decision-less summer, I think He was teaching me a totally different but more valuable lesson.

He knew I would figure out the school predicament.

But He knew I would need to learn the skill of making decisions quickly and with confidence by suffering through the painstaking opposite.

And so even when I didn’t think He was directing me, He was directing me for the greater good by allowing me to teach myself the lesson I had no clue I was learning. ⁣

He is there. He is listening. ⁣

Sometimes He needs to intervene and tell me what to do. Sometimes He wants to give me a nudge in the right direction. ⁣

And sometimes, He wants me to learn that I can trust myself and still learn the lessons He has directed for me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The long summer  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I have… in the last week!

Arizona summers always baffle me.

I’ve lived here for eight years now, and most of the summer is marked by heat.

Like, extreme heat.

That sweat-dripping-down-your-back, blindingly bright, oppressive heat of the summer.

One of my favorite feelings is walking into my air-conditioned house and feeling that dramatic difference.

And then every once in a while (although this summer, more than usual), a monsoon moves through the desert.

Often without warning, high winds, thick dust storms, pounding rain, roaring thunder and constant lightning crash through the valley.

Trampolines and trees everywhere, roads flooded.

Just a few days ago, I sat inside my home as a monsoon roared through, filled with gratitude for walls, windows, and roofs that were strong enough to hold the danger outside.

I couldn’t help but notice the familiarity of these two phrases that Isaiah writes about the Lord:

“For thou hast been … a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat”. (Isaiah 25:4)

A refuge from the storm.

There are some summer monsoons that are small, and some that are destructive and deadly.

But He is there as a refuge during those storms.

Giving me peace to endure. Peace with whatever the outcome is. Peace when everything else is chaotic.

And He’s a shadow from the heat.

That oppressive, all-encompassing uncomfortable heat.

He has been that relief. Making my load feel a little lighter. Giving me comfort.

And yet my mortal mind still forgets to turn to Him sometimes.

I’ll be out wandering in the intense heat, or trying to endure a powerful storm, and I forget to ask for help.

I forget that He is the refuge and the shadow that my soul so desperately needs.

But as soon… AS SOON as I remember Him, that protection and that relief is there.

He is my refuge and my shadow.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Refuge and shadow first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.