There’s a part of me that thinks if I learn my lessons quickly enough, then the trial might end sooner. ⁣

But sometimes… the trial is just the worst. ⁣

It’s heavy. It’s no fun. There’s no end in sight. ⁣

And I can’t find even a shred of a lesson to be learned anywhere. ⁣

Except… just endure. ⁣⁣

Several years ago, I endured a few months of a severe trial. ⁣

It was kicking my booty. ⁣

And then, the trial was over. ⁣

I felt so much better, lighter, more free…⁣

But I still didn’t know what lesson I was supposed to learn from it. ⁣

I thought I would get clarity afterwards. But the trial just seemed dark still, even looking back. ⁣

Hmmmm. Maybe there wasn’t a lesson to learn other than that life is just hard sometimes. ⁣

One day, a friend called me and told me about her latest trial. ⁣

It was exactly what I had experienced. ⁣

I turned into full-on empathy mode. I told her to complain to me. I constantly checked in with her. ⁣

I told her that I knew this was the worst, and that there wasn’t much that was going to make it better and that I was so sorry. ⁣

And then I heard about someone else I didn’t know super well who was going through the same trial. ⁣

It felt a little awkward at first, but I knew I needed to reach out and lend an understanding listening ear. ⁣

Finally one evening, I reflected. ⁣

What if THAT was the blessing?⁣

What if the blessing of my trial was the empathy that I gained for others? For the future acts of service I could perform because I perfectly understood how crushing it was to endure? ⁣

The Lord taught in D&C 103:12: “For after much tribulation… cometh the blessing.”⁣

Sometimes the blessings are evident during the trial. Sometimes they are evident right afterwards. ⁣

But sometimes… sometimes it’s not until after. ⁣

Long after. ⁣

That we begin to see what the blessing might have been.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Loooong after the trial  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I went to my closet to get dressed. . .

And the blouse that I wanted was curled up in a ball on the floor, stinky, wrinkled beyond repair, and unwearable.

Panic set in.

In my mind this was a disaster.

I was nervous enough for the job interview, and now my planned outfit wasn’t going to work out?!

Immediately, I folded my arms and said a quick prayer. ⁣

I asked for comfort to calm my heart, and for me to figure out what to do next.

I looked at my closet, found a new shirt I felt confident about, and I was in my car just a few minutes later. ⁣

As I was driving to the interview, I was praying that I would interview well, that I would get the job if it was His will. . .

And then I laughed a bit. ⁣

Had I really just prayed about what shirt I was wearing?⁣!

This is my favorite thing that I’ve learned about my loving Father in Heaven:

There’s nothing too big AND nothing too small for Him to care about. ⁣

Alma testified, “I have been supported under trials and troubles of every kind.” (Alma 36:27)

Every single kind of trouble.

He’ll support us through the heartbreaking tragedies. The big stuff.

But He’ll also support us when we can’t find the shirt we wanted to wear.

He’ll support us when we don’t know how to respond to some contention in our calling.

He’ll support us when we are sad to miss out on something we were excited for.

He’ll support us when we forget something that causes a little inconvenience.

God really will support us through every single kind of trial and trouble that we can have.

We just need to remember to actually turn to Him whenever any sort of trouble sets in.

If it matters to you, it matters to Him.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post The wrinkled shirt first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Please, do not sign me up for that.

But that is what the women in Lehi and Ishmael’s families had to endure as they trekked away from Jerusalem.

I want to compare two different verses about this same difficulty.

Here is what Nephi (and I would assume the God-focused wives of the group) said:

“And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.” (1 Nephi 17:2)

And here is what Nephi’s brothers (and I would assume their wives) said:

“We have wandered in the wilderness for these many years; and our women have toiled, being big with child; and they have borne children in the wilderness and suffered all things, save it were death; and it would have been better that they had died before they came out of Jerusalem than to have suffered these afflictions.” (1 Nephi 17:20)

Everyone is asked to endure hard things.

But the afflictions are much easier to bear when we look for the blessings we receive within the trial.

The Lord was still pouring blessings upon them in their difficult time, but only some stopped to look for the Lord’s hand.

What’s your “Laman and Lemuel” version of the difficult things you’ve had to endure in your life?

What are the complaints that honestly can seem pretty reasonable?

But I think this is the big difference between non-believers and believers:

We, as disciples of our Savior, know that when we humble our hearts, we can start to see the hand of God guiding, protecting, and preserving us along the way.

The “stuff” to endure is still there.

But our effort to look for the blessings from the Lord makes all the difference for our inner peace during the trials.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Two different perspectives first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Like, I’m an eternal optimist, which is a huge strength of mine.

But it took me an awfully long time to realize that most people telling me about their struggles just really want to connect and share.

… And they aren’t looking for me to immediately point out all the good things about their situation if only they looked at it differently!

But even with this blessing/curse of eternal optimism, I have learned…⁣

Sometimes, things are just HARD.

Life can be difficult and painful.

Our own beloved Savior had to endure being nailed to a cross.

Multiple times.

After being physically tortured. ⁣

There was no “bright side” to that.

That is truly one of the most terrible things anyone has had to endure. ⁣

I don’t want to directly compare what we have to go through with the truly torturous experience our loving Savior had, but I do think we can learn from His example. ⁣

“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2)

Many of us are asked to “endure crosses” in this mortal life. ⁣

There is no upside.

You aren’t “just not being positive enough”.

There are some truly terrible, scary, unexplainable things that we have to endure. ⁣

How do we possibly make it through? How can we endure? ⁣

How did Christ endure the cross?⁣

He knew the joy that was set before Him.

He didn’t feel that joy in the moment. But He KNEW it would be there waiting for Him on the other side. ⁣

We are not meant to feel joy in every part of our lives. Sometimes, things are just terrible. ⁣

Or even on a smaller scale, sometimes we are just having a bad day. And that’s our “cross to endure” for the time being. ⁣

When we don’t feel that joy now, we can look to our Savior as the example that the JOY WILL RETURN.

We can’t see it now. We can’t even imagine feeling it again. ⁣

But we have faith. We know that if we can just endure, we will feel that joy again.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Endure the cross  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

He had felt the pain from that metaphorical thorn for a long time.

He prayed earnestly 3 times.

Each time, pleading for God to take this trial or affliction away. ⁣

But God didn’t take the pain away.

Instead, the Lord responded:

“My grace is sufficient for thee.”⁣

And Paul really, truly believed it.

Gods grace was sufficient for Paul’s thorn.

This makes me think about my own thorns.

The little small ones, and the really big and dramatic ones.

Do I actually believe what God says?

Do I believe that God’s grace is sufficient for ME?

Often, in this church, we talk about “getting through” a difficult time or talk about what we might learn after a trial. ⁣

But what about the trials that don’t end?⁣

Is there any hope?⁣

Look what Paul said in response to the Lord’s consolation that His grace is sufficient:

“My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

Paul said that he will GLADLY GLORY in his infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon him. ⁣

How do we find that joy when we know that our trials will not end in this life?

How can we possibly be okay with that?⁣

How do we endure health challenges, life circumstances, results of our choices or of others, that will be a thorn in our side for a really, really long time?

“My grace is sufficient for thee.”⁣

We learn more about Jesus and grace. ⁣

We learn that we have the strength, through Christ, to still be a good person and do what is right on top of dealing with those challenges. ⁣

We learn that our Lord gives us grace EVERY SINGLE time we need extra help.

Not just the first or second time. Every time. ⁣

Our trials, though excruciating and painful, teach us what it truly means to rely on our Savior.

Because we don’t have to do it alone.

We get to be filled with HIS strength.

The thorn in our side may remain, but the sting can be taken away by the one who perfectly knows how the thorn feels.

Happy Studying!

Cali Black

The post The thorn in my side  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I remember rolling out of bed, being so sick, and wondering how I could even get through the day (while not being able to keep any food down).

I prayed I could just drag my body out the door.

When I was in the classroom, I desperately prayed I could make it until break time.

I prayed over food.

I prayed while having conversations with people.

I prayed when I got home and still had work to do.

⁣And I truly would feel these beautiful

spiritual boosts.

I mean, I was still sick. And miserable a lot.

But I’d see the hand of God in those little moments where I felt strength to endure or a little hug that everything would be okay.

Well eventually, I felt better.

As I got into my car at the end of a long middle school day, my mind immediately thought:

“Ah, I haven’t prayed at all today!”

I hadn’t needed the heavenly help.

And immediately I was taught this lesson:

Often, it’s the “bad times” that actually draw us closest to the Lord. ⁣

I went from pleading for His help and comfort, to thinking, “Eh, I can do this on my own”.

It’s SO HARD for me to remember this while I am going through bad times, but often they really bring me closer to God. ⁣

It’s not a punishment.

It’s actually an opportunity for a blessing. ⁣

When I think of Paul, I get exhausted with the trials he had to endure.

He clearly wasn’t being punished for anything. ⁣

“Having therefore obtained help of God, I continue unto this day”. (Acts 26:22)

But do you think he learned how to rely on God for LITERALLY everything?⁣

Absolutely. ⁣

THAT is the hidden blessing that comes from those hard times.

I’m not grateful I was sick, but I am grateful I learned how to rely on God every second during teaching a class.

THAT was my blessing.

“As Paul’s ministry clearly shows, difficulties in our lives are not a sign that God disapproves of the work we are doing. In fact, sometimes it is during the difficulties that we feel His support most strongly.” —CFM Manual

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Are trials a sign that God is punishing me? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

But not every monsoon is exactly the same.

If you’ve never experienced a monsoon in the desert, it’s always a surprise what kind of storm you will get!

Sometimes the monsoon starts with a big dust storm, lowering visibility and covering everything with a thin layer of dirt.

Other times, the wind is intense, uprooting trees and flipping trampolines. (Ask me how we know that!)

And other times, the rain seems never-ending, flooding parks and creating rivers down streets.

Now let’s talk about spiritual monsoons.

In our spiritual lives, we know storms are unavoidable.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches that the rain will come, the floods will rise, and the wind will blow, no matter what.

But just like monsoons each come with their own unique signature, our trials each have their own flair as well.

Sometimes, we’ll have more rain where trials keep pouring in.

Other times, the wind will blow, making it hard to stay focused on the gospel.

And other times, the flood waters rise, almost suffocating us with competing priorities.

Sometimes we have bigger and scarier intense storms that pass in a flash.

Other times we have storms that brew for a long time.

But we all have them! ⁣

The difference, of course, is Christ. ⁣

“And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.” (Matthew 7:25)

We can go through hard things with Him or without Him.

We don’t need to lose faith just because the storm comes; He said it would.

But Jesus will love us and help us grow through it.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Different monsoons  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

She knew that Kyle and I had been talking about getting engaged, and so she wanted to give me one piece of advice before we made that decision:

“Make sure you see Kyle get super stressed or angry about something, see how he responds to that pressure, and then make sure you are okay with his response.”

It was great advice, because admittedly, we had been kind of living a fairytale dating experience.

Yeah, we had seen each other deal with the minor stresses that came from college classes or everyday work situations, but we hadn’t seen how each of us responded to really big pressures yet.

But finally, the opportunity presented itself.

(Kyle— I’m so sorry if I unknowingly wished the big trial into existence for my own selfish purposes.  Haha!)

I saw how Kyle dealt with a huge, frustrating setback, one that took a hit on his ego.

And… I was totally cool with how he responded.

I saw how he worked through problems, how he handled big emotions, and how I could support him through tough times.

It was a great little confirmation that he would make a great choice for me as a spouse.

And I’m still happy with my decision all these years later, thank goodness! <3

When we read about Joseph’s reaction to seeing all of his brothers again after all these years, it can be difficult to figure out why he does what he does:

He accuses them of being spies, imprisons one brother, frames another, makes dramatic demands, and doesn’t want to give away who he truly is.

But to me, it looks like Joseph is just trying to see who his brothers really are after all these years.

Did they care at all about what they had done to Joseph? Had they repented? Did they love Benjamin? How were they treating his father?

A great way to find out who someone truly is, is to see how they respond to stress or pressure.

(For the record, I’m NOT advocating you go and create difficult times for everyone in your life in order to determine where their hearts are!)

But… isn’t that what God basically does to us?

He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains so that we can prove to Him, and to ourselves, what truly matters most to our hearts.

Who do we choose, even when times are tough?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post  Pressure on our hearts first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I could write out a whole list.

Some things, you would probably say are very well justified.

Other things probably seem much larger to me than they really are.

Regardless, I’ve found a lot of things that have piled up in my mind.

Getting everything done or handling everything with grace seems… well, impossible to me.

It’s all impossible.

And so this question has not been able to leave my head:

“Is any thing too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14)

Because it sure seems too hard for me to handle.

But here’s a beautiful connection I’ve recently made:

If my Lord can handle it all,

And if He has promised to take my yoke and bear my burdens,

Then nothing is impossible for me when I partner with the Lord.

Sarah and Abraham both laughed when they heard they were getting a son, when it was biologically impossible.

Impossible.

And yet, it happened.

The Lord can make miracles happen all on His own.

I’ve had a few, tender, sacred moments in my life where I have seen these truly impossible miracles occur.

But more often, I see it more as a partnership.

A very, very, unfair and unequal partnership.

Where my load seems quite impossible. Mentally; physically; emotionally.

But I know that nothing is too hard for Him.

And so I rely on Him even more. I invite Him in. I tell Him the intricacies of what I’m facing.

And the cliche is true— the burdens are still there. The load is still as big as ever.

But I’m able to feel those moments of peace and relief as I endure.

With God, nothing is impossible.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post It all seems too hard first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

This was a question asked during a Q&A held during our 5th Sunday lesson yesterday.

There was a fantastic discussion that followed this question, including the ideas that we have to be acting and using all our resources to get rid of the bad habit, reaching out to others for help, and learning the doctrine behind the change we want to make.

But ultimately, someone shared:

“God could absolutely take away your weakness right now.

“It is entirely up to whether or not that is His will.

“So have you prayed to ask what God’s will is with your bad habit?”

What a tough thing, right?

Doesn’t God want my trials to disappear? My bad habits to slide out of sight? My weaknesses to become strengths?

Because that’s what most of MY prayers are focused on.

“Help me fix this.”

But I can think of scriptural examples of prophets and other good people who did not get everything “fixed”.

Who endured a “thorn in their flesh” their entire lifetime.

Whose weaknesses stayed as weaknesses.

Now of course, sometimes He does help to take these trials and bad habits away.

He could do absolutely anything.

So… have I followed up my pleas of “Please help me overcome this!”

With, “But, what is THY will for this weakness”?

It’s a small but powerful shift.

And I think I’m ready to be led to the answer.

“What is the will of the Lord…?” D&C 125:1

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post What is the will of the Lord? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.