I remember one kid who walked into my 6th grade classroom on the first day of school, and he looked like he should be in high school.
I usually kept things super high energy and busy on the first day, so that the kids didn’t have an option but to be engaged and get to know me.
And within just a few minutes, this particular student was already being defiant and apathetic.
So I made it a goal to say 5 positive, non-behavior-related comments to him each day.
I complimented his shoes. I asked him what they did in P.E. today. I asked him to help me hand out pencils. He wrote a sentence about a movie when I had asked for a paragraph, and I talked to him all about my favorite parts of the movie.
He seemed surprised at first.
But he started to warm up to me.
Then, I slowly introduced private conversations about his behavior.
“Hey, I get that you were trying to be funny when you made that comment earlier, but it really derailed the entire class for a while. Could you help me out and save those kinds of comments til after class or when we have some free time?”
And then, when he’d start to talk out in class again, I’d give him a little “knowing” look.
He caught on.
Honestly, he was a good kid. He really struggled academically, but the behavior issues subsided to the point that they weren’t so disruptive.
I made A WHOLE LOT of mistakes while teaching.
But I never let a child leave my classroom without knowing that they were seen as a real human being, and that they were loved.
I LITERALLY thought of this scripture often, and even taught a training to my co-workers using this “saying that I once heard”…
“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;” (D&C 121:43)
I now use this in my parenting all the time.
When the positive comments VASTLY outweigh the corrective or negative, no matter how many there are, there is a feeling of love and “I’m on your team”-ness.
God sees us as more than our mistakes, and I think He wants us to emulate that, too.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
