I was trying to make a decision between two schools.
I had prayed. I had done my research. I had written out pros and cons lists. I had talked with friends.
And I still had no clue which school to pick.
I kept praying.
And still, I felt nothing.
Why wasn’t I getting the direction I was looking for?
I spent all summer thinking, delaying the final decision until the final deadline.
Still with no heavenly answer…
I finally just picked a school.
And it turned into a beautiful experience that was perfect with me, led me to amazing friends, and gave me great academic opportunities.
“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good” (Alma 37:37).
So why hadn’t I been directed in the way I expected?
I have had countless times when I HAVE felt guided and directed by Heavenly Father in decisions I have made.
But I’ve also had a few of these experiences, where I look to Heaven and don’t hear anything.
Here’s what I think:
Being unmistakably directed in 100% of my actions would remove the need for agency and would stifle my growth.
Heavenly Father knew that I needed to “own” my school decision 100%.
And He trusted ME to make that decision all on my own.
He trusted me to study, ask, ponder, research, contemplate, and then decide. All by myself.
During that long decision-less summer, I think He was teaching me a totally different but more valuable lesson.
He knew I would figure out the school predicament.
But He knew I would need to learn the skill of making decisions quickly and with confidence by suffering through the painstaking opposite.
And so even when I didn’t think He was directing me, He was directing me for the greater good by allowing me to teach myself the lesson I had no clue I was learning.
He is there. He is listening.
Sometimes He needs to intervene and tell me what to do. Sometimes He wants to give me a nudge in the right direction.
And sometimes, He wants me to learn that I can trust myself and still learn the lessons He has directed for me.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
2 Responses
This has been me this Summer. I am inspired by your insights. I have been questioning why I was not receiving an answer. I hope to see that my decision was the right one as yours was for you.
I hope so too! <3