“Oh yeah, I don’t put up with any of his nonsense. I just call him out for it in front of everyone.”
This is the moment I learned that some of my colleagues and I had very different classroom management strategies.
There was one 6th grader in particular who was a challenge that year.
Although I was not perfect at handling him, I had decided to take a different approach:
I talked to him a lot individually.
Year after year in the classroom, I found myself being able to connect with even the most difficult kids.
(Not that everything was amazing, but I felt like there was mutual respect and a glimpse of understanding, even despite some of their continued poor choices.)
I came to learn that pulling kids aside and talking to them one-on-one was the best way to maintain that respect.
Calling kids out in front of their peers either caused shame, or it reinforced that they only got attention when they were exhibiting poor behavior.
And I didn’t want to cause either one of those outcomes.
So I found that creating unique opportunities to talk to that child one-on-one gave me the best chance to actually get my point across to them.
I think about Hiram Page.
He believed that he was receiving revelation for the entire church.
I don’t know how this all started, or if he knew at some point that this was not truly of God…
But Joseph, as directed by the Lord, gave him the benefit of the doubt.
In D&C 28:11, the Lord directed Oliver to pull Hiram aside for an individual conversation about his behavior.
“Thou shalt take thy brother, Hiram Page, between him and thee alone, and tell him that those things which he hath written from that stone are not of me and that Satan deceiveth him”.
No shaming, no name-calling, and no unnecessary attention.
Just using discretion, solving the problem with respect, and lots of love.
I’ve seen the same principle carry over as I teach youth in church, and have kids of my own.
I truly believe that most people don’t want to be bad.
If we give them the benefit of the doubt, speak to them privately with an open heart and ready to hear their side of the story, that’s when hearts are mended.
No ganging up, no mob mentality, no shame.
Just kind, loving, individual correction and connection.
I imagine, just as Jesus would.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
