I always figured I’d be a mom who also worked outside of the home.
I love teaching, I knew I connected well with my students, and I felt really fulfilled from my job.
So when I prepared to return to work after taking maternity leave with my first child, and I received a strong prompting to resign from my job at the end of the school year, I was shocked.
That wasn’t my plan.
That wasn’t what I wanted.
But I also could not deny that prompting— resign from teaching at the end of the year.
I realized that when I told people about my resignation at first, I would “blame” it all on God.
“I wanted to keep working, but I got a super strong prompting to quit so I guess that’s what I’m doing!”
I had my own will.
I had learned God’s will.
And I guess I was going to let His will win.
Then one day, it clicked.
God didn’t want me to grudgingly follow this prompting, blaming Him for giving up what I really wanted.
He wanted me to do it willingly.
And so I started to pray.
I prayed for the desire to WANT to quit my job.
(Kind of weird, I know.)
But that desire came. Pretty quickly, too.
And suddenly I felt so much more at peace about my decision.
I wasn’t “giving in” to what God wanted for my life.
My will and God’s will had become one.
We wanted the same thing, even though I wasn’t sure about the WHY yet.
“Take ye from among you an offering unto the Lord: whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it”. (Exodus 35:5)
God doesn’t want us to come dragging our feet and blaming everything on Him. On His promptings, on His commandments.
He wants us to come and sacrifice willingly.
And I’ve learned that if I truly come to the altar of prayer with a desire to have our wills become the same, He will always help my heart get to the right place.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
2 Responses
I’m so glad you were “able” to quit your job after your first child. It is a blessing to your children (and to you). When I drove our daughter to Rick’s College, she told me she used to come home from school and go in her room and cry, because I was not there. Her grandmother was; but that was not the same she said. that broke my heart; that I had not been able to be there for her.
I pray you will always be there for your precious children; those years cannot be called back; and you miss so much.
God bless you,
These years with them are so precious! I am soaking them in. Thank you for sharing! <3