I remember after having Quin (my first kid), my world was turned upside down.
And one day, my very perceptive husband came home from an earlier day at work and said, “I’m completely handling Quin. Leave this house. Go do something you want to do on your own.”
And so I got in the car…
And I had no idea where to go. ????
I needed a break from my baby, but I didn’t know what I needed to replace it.
And so I leaned into the cliche, drove to Target, walked around aimlessly for a while, and then drove home.
Now since that day 2 1/2 years ago, I’ve come a loooong way!
Just this past week during a few kid-free moments, I’ve scrubbed a bathroom, studied my scriptures in total silence, written Come Follow Me posts, attempted to remodel a bathroom, played the piano, talked with a friend, and done other work.
And there was one time when I scrolled social media endlessly, clicking on article after post after video, waaaaay past the “refreshing and relaxing” amount.
Clearly, I don’t have a total handle on my agency yet.
But I’ve come a long way in learning how to make positive, righteous, fun, and meaningful decisions with my time!
And this is what fascinates me about the Lord giving Nephi power to do whatever he wished in Helaman Ch 10.
The Lord trusted Nephi to ALWAYS make a righteous decision in the name of the Lord.
Nephi wasn’t going to sit in indecisiveness. He wasn’t going to waste time. He also wasn’t going to give in to wicked desires.
The Lord KNEW Nephi would make the best decisions with his abundance of agency.
That’s what I’m working towards.
Not that I always have to be “busy”. But that when I’m given “free time”, I make righteous decisions that will either rejuvenate me, bring me happiness, or push me to grow.
Because learning to use my agency wisely is the ultimate sign of trust in my Heavenly Father.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
2 Responses
Thank you for your comments and insights. I appreciate reading your thoughts and see it from your point of view as well as reflecting upon my own experiences.
Thanks so much! I’m glad it has helped to support your studies. <3