Do you like being visited soon after giving birth?
I recently was part of a conversation with a bunch of moms.
One mom told a story about how frustrating it was that so many people wanted to come see her baby right after she gave birth.
She said the visitors brought sicknesses, drained her energy, and didn’t respect her need to heal.
And then later in the conversation, a different mom talked about how she actually LOVED having visitors right after having babies.
The visitors lifted her spirits, gave her a break from holding her baby, and made her feel less lonely.
Differences of opinion are normal, right?
But I thought this was actually a beautiful example of how we impose our own intentions and meaning on others!
When someone comes to visit the first mom after giving birth, she’s thinking:
“Oh they aren’t very considerate. Do they realize how many sicknesses they are carrying?!”
And when someone DOESN’T visit the second mom after giving birth, she’s thinking:
“No one cares about me. No one is thinking about me or how I’m doing right now.”
This is clearly a low-stakes example, but don’t we do this all the time?!?
Someone does something and we have negative thoughts because we assume their intentions.
Someone DOESN’T do something and others have negative thoughts because they assume their intentions.
The men who crucified the Savior did a TERRIBLE thing—
BUT they didn’t necessarily realize they were actually crucifying the Savior of the world.
They thought they were neutralizing a blasphemous threat.
Once again, we have a perfect example from our Savior of how to forgive others.
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
Pres Eyring said, “We do not know the hearts of those who offend us”.
And yet, in our fallen state, we think we know everyone’s intentions.
We think we know that they should know better.
We think everyone has had our exact experiences and education.
We think we know that they are wrong and we are right.
But from my experience, I’ve noticed that most people don’t realize they are offending someone else.
When we practice stepping back and assuming that everyone around us actually has the best intentions and mortal weaknesses, inner peace becomes available.
Jesus forgave the people ending His mortal life while hanging on the cross, and we can do better at forgiving others, too.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
4 Responses
Thank you…
It’s two of The Four Agreements. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions.
Great snippet!
Thank you! 🙂
LOVED this comment and example! I will be facilitating RS this week; we will discuss Elder Gong’s talk on Ministering. There is so much in your comment today that is relatable to that activity! I am excited to take this to my gals and share these comments w/them. Warmly , Brenda
Oh I’m so glad you found it helpful!