I remember the moment that I realized fulfilling my calling was not counting as service.
Here’s what I mean –
Shortly after Kyle and I were married, we moved wards, and I was called as Ward Choir Director.
We were brand new in the ward, and I remember the member of the bishopric kind of laughing as he extended the calling and saying, “You are probably feeling very under-qualified and overwhelmed by this call, but I know the Lord will help you fulfill it.”
And I sighed a bit as I shared just a short list of my musical background and assured him I felt just fine accepting the calling.
The truth was, though, I was disappointed in the calling.
I wanted to be able to teach the gospel. To be in Young Women’s, or Primary. To interact with other strong women and create goodness together. To plan fun events and learn gospel principles together. To make friends in this new ward.
Not to beg people to come to choir practice all by myself.
But I fulfilled the duties that were outlined in my calling.
I did them grudgingly, but I did them. The choir rehearsed and performed on schedule. The songs sounded pretty good. We grew our participation numbers.
But I had such a prideful attitude about it.
After a full year of this calling, General Conference rolled around. And sure enough, there was a talk about serving with real intent in our hearts.
Some pride in my heart started to soften as I realized that I had been “serving” by fulfilling my checklist duties, but my heart was not being fed or changed by my service.
I knew I needed to make a dramatic change in order to root out the pride and anger. I wanted to become more Christlike, but I wasn’t quite sure how.
So I thought, “How can I be the best Choir Director I could possibly be?!”
And then I got to work.
I had that calling for another year and a half, and I found true joy in it. I made good friends who were choir members and accompanists. I was overcome with the Spirit while conducting performances of a simple 8-person, 2-part choir.
I finally felt like I was serving my ward members, and I finally felt like I was serving the Lord.
I’m really good at tricking my mind into thinking that if I just go through the actions, I’m doing what’s required of me.
But nothing counts as much as the intent.
Are we serving, giving, loving with pure intent in our hearts? Or are we doing it grudgingly?
After 2 1/2 transformative years in that calling, we moved. I was grateful for the lesson I had learned, and was ready to jump into a new calling in my new ward “all in”, with pure intent.
My new calling in my new ward?
Ward Choir Director.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
11 Responses
Funny I was called as Ward Choir Director in my old ward. I didn’t read music and had never led a choir in my life. It was one of the hardest callings I’ve ever had but I learned a lot along the way.
Oh so cool! Way to go! It’s a fun calling – I’ve learned 😉
Good story. The lord truly knows where we can best serve
I’ve had some of the same experiences as a building rep
Awesome! Yeah, it can certainly be applied to any calling!
“But nothing counts as much as the intent.”
I love everything you write, but for some reason today while I read this phrase, I had to disagree. I have recently been reflecting on a comment my dad made several years ago to a young adult in our stake who had been baptized one year prior and still had the new member enthusiasm and fire. He was giddy because of the gospel. My dad asked him a sobering question that took the young man by surprise. My dad asked, “What will you do when you don’t want to go to church anymore?”. The young man said that was impossible, he would ALWAYS want to go to church. And my dad responded, “But what about when you don’t want to go?” Then my dad suggested that maybe he would benefit from something my dad had done years ago… My dad promised (maybe even covenanted with) the Lord that he would always go to his church meetings. I had never known about that promise, but I instantly saw how it played out and impacted my life as I grew up in his home. We always went to church, even when we traveled. He always went to his meetings even when he was really busy, or tired, or frustrated.
I think my point is that although I totally understand that intent is always important and very helpful in finding higher meaning in our actions, sometimes just doing the minimum is enough to get you through to a point where you can offer more. So sometimes depending on where you are, the minimum counts just as much. If you “do”, even begrudgingly, but that is all you can do right then, that is enough.
I love that, and thank you so much for adding. I agree that going through the actions is better than not doing anything at all! And the Lord knows when that’s the best we can do with our intent! <3
I have continued to think about this throughout the week. Maybe it is the fact that there is an effort to fulfill the calling or commitment to attend church meetings that is the “good intent” we are needing to provide that brings the blessings, even when our heart isn’t always in it all the way. And that desire to obey even when we can’t muster a sincerely positive attitude is enough to bring blessings, even if we know that a positive attitude may bring more blessings.
Well Heavenly Father has a sense of Humor. But truly singing in choirs was so fun for me in our Ward in California. Sadly our Ward here in Utah doesn’t have a choir and I really miss singing in a choir. You must have amazing talent and know that music is a way I feel the spirit the most.
Haha he certainly does! And bummer, I hope your ward is able to organize one soon – they are the best! <3
I think one also has to do the “do” part or intent can stay intent. Yes, it is resolve. You did that when you accepted the calling and went forward with action. I kind of agree with Pepper. — we have to make a “decision” and then “do” the thing/event we want to have in our life. The same is true for attending meetings. Once one decides they don’t need attendance or to be spiritual, they are no longer are being “taught” weekly and no longer receiving the sacrament. Intent is being insistent, fixed, resolved, or it can be a noun — purpose, aim, goal, etc. If one handles a calling in a manner that just is intent, somewhere a decision has to be made to “move” on that intent — to “do.” Sister Black, I think that was what you decided to do — to “do” the calling even though you were hesitant. Having “intent” never moved anyone to move off the spot they currently occupy.
Love your articles and admire that you have so much of your history that you can recall — to help us see the why and the how! Thank you so much!
Thank you for your insight. There certainly is power in doing.